3 year old with cochears

[shel90]

You. Shel. I take you at your word that as individuals, you were "forced" into pain and discomfort by cruel parents who were doing it for their sake, not yours. Yes. But, 'deaf people" in general are not 'forced' to wear a device for the sake of hearing people. That's like saying that individuals who wear glasses are 'forced' to do so for the sake of their non-vision-impaired parents.

alleyCat just shared her experience and so did many others who wer forced. Why do you think there are constant funny stories of many of us trying to break expensive equipment so we wouldnt have to wear them?

 

[GrendelQ]

Heairng aids are painful to wear. I was forced to wear them by my speech therapists when they hurted so much that I was crying only to be blown off that I was having a "tantrum" only to find out a few hours later that I had an ear infection at that time. If you ever had an extremely painful ear infection and cant touch it without screaming in pain, IMAGINE having a device put in your ear when the whole side of your head HURTS?

Pls do not tell me it is nothing? Why do you think there are stories of many of us trying to break expensive equipment. Shouldnt you, parents, listen to our experiences Why are you blowing me off with this comparision with vegetables? I am talking about PAIN in my head. The sounds hurted my brother which was why he had trantrums about hearing aids putting in his head.

That is parental oppression, not the examples you provided about vegetables. Pls.

Yes, that sounds brutal. And worthy of discussion. (And a whole lot of words with your parents throughout the years). Are you suggesting that the OP check for ear infection? That could be an issue.

 

[GrendelQ]

alleyCat just shared her experience and so did many others who wer forced. Why do you think there are constant funny stories of many of us trying to break expensive equipment so we wouldnt have to wear them?

I don't know. I not-so-accidentally tossed my eyeglasses into the street because I found them uncomfortable and didn't see the benefit in wearing them. My parents explained what the implications were (cost, delay in repair, headaches from trying to read without them) and I didn't behave as irresponsibly next time I grudgingly put them on, even though I still hated them.

 

[shel90]

Yes, that sounds brutal. And worthy of discussion. (And a whole lot of words with your parents throughout the years). Are you suggesting that the OP check for ear infection? That could be an issue.

With a CI...I dont know but with HAs, I would definitely check but I have worked with many kids who just didnt like having stuff on their heads. I learned to choose my battles because I know what it was like when I was a kid at school being forced to wear my HAs when I didnt feel like wearing them. And being forced to wear the FM system when I hated them.

 

[GrendelQ]

As an adult, I have a choice whether to wear my HAs or not because there are days when the sounds are painful to me or when my ears hurt but as a child, I was told I was being naughty when I didnt want to wear them. That is ok? I guess so cuz we are deaf.

My parents told me I was naughty when I didn't want to wear my glasses to school. That was OK, not because of my ability to see or not, but because I was their child and they were behaving as responsible and caring parents.

 

[shel90]

I don't know. I not-so-accidentally tossed my eyeglasses into the street because I found them uncomfortable and didn't see the benefit in wearing them. My parents explained what the implications were (cost, delay in repair, headaches from trying to read without them) and I didn't behave as irresponsibly next time I grudgingly put them on, even though I still hated them.

Did the eyeglasses hurt you physically?

Sometimes there are days when the envrionmental sounds hurt me physically so I turn my hearing aids off. Then i would turn them back on when I was ready. By forcing children to wear a device that is physically painfull for hours and hours is not good. Give them a break from time to time or the potential to rebell against the device for life increases like it did with my brother.

 

[shel90]

My parents told me I was naughty when I didn't want to wear my glasses to school. That was OK, not because of my ability to see or not, but because I was their child and they were behaving as responsible and caring parents.

Your parents had the option to send you to a blind school and learn brialle and make your life easier like I could have by going to a Deaf school and learning ASL. That would have been a life saver...not only with the hearing aid issues but with a long list of other issues.

 

[AlleyCat]

You. Shel. I take you at your word that as individuals, you were "forced" into pain and discomfort by cruel parents who were doing it for their sake, not yours. Yes. But, 'deaf people" in general are not 'forced' to wear a device for the sake of hearing people. That's like saying that individuals who wear glasses are 'forced' to do so for the sake of their non-vision-impaired parents.

Not an appropriate analogy. Wearing glasses doesn't hurt. Wearing HAs and earmolds that cause sore ears does. I've had ears that bled from ill-fitting earmolds. There was something just said about that in another thread today.

And the same was said by all my deaf friends while growing up. Even others here have said the same.

I guess we are not "deaf people in general".

 

[deafgal001]

Wirelessly posted

As an adult, I have a choice whether to wear my HAs or not because there are days when the sounds are painful to me or when my ears hurt but as a child, I was told I was being naughty when I didnt want to wear them. That is ok? I guess so cuz we are deaf.

My parents told me I was naughty when I didn't want to wear my glasses to school. That was OK, not because of my ability to see or not, but because I was their child and they were behaving as responsible and caring parents.

My son wear glasses and I never had to fuss at him for not wearing it.
He doesn't even have to wear it to school but he choose to.

 

[GrendelQ]

Did the eyeglasses hurt you physically?

Sometimes there are days when the envrionmental sounds hurt me physically so I turn my hearing aids off. Then i would turn them back on when I was ready. By forcing children to wear a device that is physically painfull for hours and hours is not good. Give them a break from time to time or the potential to rebell against the device for life increases like it did with my brother.

The 5 surgeries throughout my childhood hurt quite a bit, yes. The glasses themselves were physically uncomfortable, yes -- small child & nose bridge, long before the lovely light lenses of today, intentional blurring of 'good eye' to strengthen weaker -- still have one of those pairs from elementary school, a far cry from my bifocals today. I've never thought of it as oppression or cruelty and am very glad I had the opportunity to develop a passion for reading (alongside my passionate hatred for those glasses), even though it was through the help of repeated medical intervention and a device I still wear today. I don't feel like my parents were requiring me to do all that for their sake.

 

[shel90]

Not an appropriate analogy. Wearing glasses doesn't hurt. Wearing HAs and earmolds that cause sore ears does. I've had ears that bled from ill-fitting earmolds. There was something just said about that in another thread today.

And the same was said by all my deaf friends while growing up. Even others here have said the same.

I guess we are not "deaf people in general".

I dont know what it is..all I see are excuses. I wear glasses but it is totally different from wearing HAs. They have never hurt me like my HAs did from time to time throughout my life. Not once.

 

[shel90]

The 5 surgeries throughout my childhood hurt quite a bit, yes. The glasses themselves were physically uncomfortable, yes -- small child & nose bridge, long before the lovely light lenses of today, intentional blurring of 'good eye' to strengthen weaker -- still have one of those pairs from elementary school, a far cry from my bifocals today. I've never thought of it as oppression or cruelty and am very glad I had the opportunity to develop a passion for reading (alongside my passionate hatred for those glasses), even though it was through the help of repeated medical intervention and a device I still wear today. I don't feel like my parents were requiring me to do all that for their sake.

Good for you but....how does that apply to the rest of us? Should we have behaved the way you did when you were a kid?

The OP's child is acting out...that is a common sign among many deaf kids.

I dont know about blind children or children with glasses as I dont work at a blind school. I cant make assumptions about them.

I am deaf and the OP's child is deaf and we have that experience to share, not blindness or nose surgery so I cant make a comparision about that against deafness.

 

[GrendelQ]

I've had ears that bled from ill-fitting earmolds.

Perhaps a first step might have been to fit your molds correctly to see if it helped before deciding that hearing aids are oppressive to all deaf people. As in this case -- a first step might be to find out why the child's CIs aren't providing him with sound that he welcomes before deciding that CIs are oppressive to all deaf people.

There are many, many deaf people who are glad to have hearing aids, wish they had access to hearing aids. I don't doubt that you were forced, as you say, for your parents's sake. But you are not all deaf people. After my daughter rejected her hearing aids, despite repeated adjustments, we realized they provided no benefit. No forcing.

 

[GrendelQ]

I dont know what it is..all I see are excuses. I wear glasses but it is totally different from wearing HAs. They have never hurt me like my HAs did from time to time throughout my life. Not once.

Yes, just as you and I had very different experiences with glasses, not all deaf people find HAs painful or feel that they are being forced to wear them, as you did.

 

[AlleyCat]

Perhaps a first step might have been to fit your molds correctly to see if it helped before deciding that hearing aids are oppressive to all deaf people. As in this case -- a first step might be to find out why the child's CIs aren't providing him with sound that he welcomes before deciding that CIs are oppressive to all deaf people.

There are many, many deaf people who are glad to have hearing aids, wish they had access to hearing aids. I don't doubt that you were forced, as you say, for your parents's sake. But you are not all deaf people. After my daughter rejected her hearing aids, despite repeated adjustments, we realized they provided no benefit. No forcing.

I did not say I am all deaf people.

You have no idea how MANY times HA earmolds had to be re-fitted. This happens with all kids, especially when they're still growing and they must be changed out often.

I didn't say that wearing them was OPPRESSIVE. You chose those words.

 

[shel90]

Yes, just as you and I had very different experiences with glasses, not all deaf people find HAs painful or feel that they are being forced to wear them, as you did.

But the point of this thread is that the OP's child is rebelling against wearing his CIs and some poeple are practically telling the OP to make him wear it instead of seeking other reasons why.

 

[GrendelQ]

Good for you but....how does that apply to the rest of us? Should we have behaved the way you did when you were a kid?

Not at all. Same issue here. This child's experience is not yours, it's his own. You can have empathy, but it doesn't make sense to project your experience, your feelings, onto his situation.

If you were to say, whenever I had ear infections (or whenever my children have colds), I (or they) reject HAs, maybe that's what's going on -- that would be a great insight and might help this mother troubleshoot.

 

[GrendelQ]

But the point of this thread is that the OP's child is rebelling against wearing his CIs and some poeple are practically telling the OP to make him wear it instead of seeking other reasons why.

Where/who?

 

[GrendelQ]

I did not say I am all deaf people.

You have no idea how MANY times HA earmolds had to be re-fitted. This happens with all kids, especially when they're still growing and they must be changed out often.

I didn't say that wearing them was OPPRESSIVE. You chose those words.

I had to refit my child's nearly every 2 weeks for 5 months -- she was growing like a reed.

 

[deafgal001]

Wirelessly posted

Did the eyeglasses hurt you physically?



Sometimes there are days when the envrionmental sounds hurt me physically so I turn my hearing aids off. Then i would turn them back on when I was ready. By forcing children to wear a device that is physically painfull for hours and hours is not good. Give them a break from time to time or the potential to rebell against the device for life increases like it did with my brother.

The 5 surgeries throughout my childhood hurt quite a bit, yes. The glasses themselves were physically uncomfortable, yes -- small child & nose bridge, long before the lovely light lenses of today, intentional blurring of 'good eye' to strengthen weaker -- still have one of those pairs from elementary school, a far cry from my bifocals today. I've never thought of it as oppression or cruelty and am very glad I had the opportunity to develop a passion for reading (alongside my passionate hatred for those glasses), even though it was through the help of repeated medical intervention and a device I still wear today. I don't feel like my parents were requiring me to do all that for their sake.

Our son have lazy eyes. I don't make him wear it. Sometimes he doesn't but most of the time he does. I do not make him wear glasses that would discomfort him. I work with him and find a solution to make it more comfortable for him. He didnt like wearing the patch so I put him on front of a big tv so he can see out of it. Most ofi would the time he wear it and sometimes he doesn't. If he doesn't wear it at all it is pointless to him. He isn't gaining much from it.... he's blind. (Not every lazy eye method is a success)



Btw his eyesight have improved alot...especially after I quit the patch method and used glasses.