Hearing guy here, would really like to know how to meet a single deaf girl

N

Nykwil

New Member
Joined
Jun 5, 2009
Messages
3
Reaction score
2
Hello, I've been contemplating this notion in my head about dating a deaf girl, but I don't know how to proceed about doing this.

I live in Boston, are there singles events for deaf people that i can look into?

Should I study some sign to at least show that i'm trying to learn how to communicate?
 
You should look for a classes that teach beginner sign language , once you learn a few signs , ask a deaf girl that you really like if she could help with your lessons . But ask her to help you using your sign language. She will see that you really need help!
 
whatdidyousay! said:
You should look for a classes that teach beginner sign language , once you learn a few signs , ask a deaf girl that you really like if she could help with your lessons . But ask her to help you using your sign language. She will see that you really need help!
Click to expand...



This sounds like a real good idea. Hopefully there will be some deaf teachers aids or tutors that I can work with. I really want to meet a deaf girl but I dunno where to look.
 
Nykwil said:
This sounds like a real good idea. Hopefully there will be some deaf teachers aids or tutors that I can work with. I really want to meet a deaf girl but I dunno where to look.
Click to expand...

I was taking sign language classes when I lived in CA. One of the woman student ask me if I wanted to study with her , and I said yes thinking it would be nice to have someone to study with! The woman said she lived
with roommates and they may be home. When I went to the woman
house she was the only one home , I ask about her roommates and she said they were out for the day! That when a BELL went off in my head! CRAP this woman want to more than study sign language , she want
to have SEX with me! I said I had to get home my baby is crying!
I did the same , but I ask a guy to study with me , it worked
 
You should take ASL lessons first before looking for deaf girl to date with. Communication is the main part of the relationship, the most important part.
 
Just out of curiosity, why are you specifically seeking out a Deaf female? It almost seems like some sort of fetish.

I'm hearing...girlfriend is Deaf. I love all the qualities in her as a woman...and it just so happened that she is Deaf. Do you see the difference?
 
Taylor said:
Just out of curiosity, why are you specifically seeking out a Deaf female? It almost seems like some sort of fetish.

I'm hearing...girlfriend is Deaf. I love all the qualities in her as a woman...and it just so happened that she is Deaf. Do you see the difference?
Click to expand...

I'd been studying to become an interpreter way before my girlfriend (a hearie like me) and started dating and all of my classes encouraged socializing with the local Deaf population so at one point I just couldn't help but think, "Hm, wonder what'd happen if I met a nice Deaf woman around my age with similar interests?"

It might be a fetish, but I don't think it is. I'm Hispanic and it might just be I'm interested in dating someone different: a white woman, black, European, etc. because with each culture it's a different experience.

Try checking out if your local community college offers ASL classes because learning how to communicate is paramount! At first you might need to carry a notebook pad and a pen but it shows you're trying.
 
I've always been fascinated with red haired, or should I say attracted to them. And guess what, I dated a few and married one. I always knew I would marry one.

another friend have always wanted to married a Korean girl. who knows, he might.. and another, a christian guy.

It's great for a guy to see a deaf person as someone interesting instead of someone with a disadvantage.

btw, I meet my hearing husband from the internet. All he did was ask about my hearing (what it is like and everything), and I didn't know he was red-hair at the time
 
For one communicate. Secondly, don't approach in a way that would make you feel like your being taken advantage of. Offer to do some simple things together like go to the mall or go to the library. Simple stuff. Actually do work in some tutoring sessions to begin with.

My best advice is to go to a deaf social, and sign to them that you are an ASL student and you would like some extra help outside class and offer to pay or if you have no money offer to do some things for them as payment such as mowing their lawn for every lesson they tutor, or offer them dinner for teaching. Just make sure your giving back as much as your getting, if not more. Don't be pushy.

If they agree to tutor you, meet up with them at a library or quiet cafe. After the lesson ask them in ASL "What do I owe you?".

The more they realize that you really are trying the more likely you are to get a long-term relationship out of it.
 
Same question I had.

I see a LOT more hearing guys dating Deaf women than Deaf men dating hearing women. Sometimes (by no means always), I get the feeling that hearing guys like to date Deaf girls cause they think it's "easy"---their mentality is that communication is basic and minimal, and they can easily control the woman when they go out into the hearing world because they control the means of communication.

There's a simple scientific explanation for this: Guys like to feel depended on and powerful--it's just who we are--and they think that by having a Deaf girlfriend they can easily fulfill that need. Using a person's deafness to satisfy this need will have very bad implications on the relationship. It's also just plain despicable.

I'm not saying this is how ALL deaf/hearing relationships are, but there are plenty, and I'm sure many here have experienced it. I'm also not saying this is the OP's motivation for wanting to date a Deaf woman, but you need to be fully aware of your own motivation for wanting to date a Deaf person before you go out and specifically seek to date a Deaf woman.






Taylor said:
Just out of curiosity, why are you specifically seeking out a Deaf female? It almost seems like some sort of fetish.

I'm hearing...girlfriend is Deaf. I love all the qualities in her as a woman...and it just so happened that she is Deaf. Do you see the difference?
Click to expand...
 
TheWriteAlex said:
Same question I had.

I see a LOT more hearing guys dating Deaf women than Deaf men dating hearing women. Sometimes (by no means always), I get the feeling that hearing guys like to date Deaf girls cause they think it's "easy"---their mentality is that communication is basic and minimal, and they can easily control the woman when they go out into the hearing world because they control the means of communication.

There's a simple scientific explanation for this: Guys like to feel depended on and powerful--it's just who we are--and they think that by having a Deaf girlfriend they can easily fulfill that need. Using a person's deafness to satisfy this need will have very bad implications on the relationship. It's also just plain despicable.

I'm not saying this is how ALL deaf/hearing relationships are, but there are plenty, and I'm sure many here have experienced it. I'm also not saying this is the OP's motivation for wanting to date a Deaf woman, but you need to be fully aware of your own motivation for wanting to date a Deaf person before you go out and specifically seek to date a Deaf woman.
Click to expand...

I have seen that in some of my friends' relationship with their hearing significant others. I hate their significant other for that and I tell my friends not to expect me to be cordial to them. My hubby is hearing and if he dares to try to control me, I will raise hell.

Hearing guys who seek deaf women for the sole purpose of control are losers.
 
You know, I was hesitating to post it, because it sounds totally stuck up, but lots of my friends have been totally surprised at how much interest men have in dating me. I think what it is is that we might have a different way of communication. I mean, when someone talks to me, they are the only person in the world to me at that moment... my attention is riveted to them.

If you think for one minute I will tell them if it was otherwise, I wouldn't hear them, you're wrong. I'm taking full advantage. o.0
 
deaf girl friend

Taylor said:
Just out of curiosity, why are you specifically seeking out a Deaf female? It almost seems like some sort of fetish.

I'm hearing...girlfriend is Deaf. I love all the qualities in her as a woman...and it just so happened that she is Deaf. Do you see the difference?
Click to expand...


Good point!!! May seem rude to ask, but why a deaf girl/woman over any other? A Woman is a woman... if she happens to be deaf and thats a plus than more power to u! ;)
 
deafannieboo said:
Good point!!! May seem rude to ask, but why a deaf girl/woman over any other? A Woman is a woman... if she happens to be deaf and thats a plus than more power to u! ;)
Click to expand...

Hang around, and you will see a variety of deaf groupies. :wave:
 
Back
Top