your friend going to be dad! (non-marriage)

illustrator

illustrator

New Member
Joined
Feb 27, 2003
Messages
4,587
Reaction score
0
Okay, I received news from my long-time friend, that his girlfriend is pregant. Honestly, I feel so disappointment for him. Ponder for a moment, what should I do by tell him about it? Should I pressure on him into marriage? Maybe he don't like it, because it's his life.

I simple sent instant message to tell him "Congratulate, future-father". He appericate it.

So, how do you feel about your friend or your child?
 
My child? Are you referring to us older members who have kids that have gotten pregnant out of marriage as well as those of us who have friends who have also gotten pregnant out of marriage?

If that's the case, there's not really much for me to say. If it happens, then it happens. I've had over 20 friends get pregnant out of marriage. The best I can do is support them and congratulate them. Anything else I say isn't gonna change anything so what's the point of saying it? The best solution is to show your support and make them feel better instead of putting them down.
 
illustrator said:
Okay, I received news from my long-time friend, that his girlfriend is pregant. Honestly, I feel so disappointment for him. Ponder for a moment, what should I do by tell him about it? Should I pressure on him into marriage? Maybe he don't like it, because it's his life.

I simple sent instant message to tell him "Congratulate, future-father". He appericate it.

So, how do you feel about your friend or your child?
Click to expand...




First of all it's none of your damn business if he get's married or not.Who the hell are you to pressure anyone into getting married??? Before you start offering advice maybe you should do a little growing up yourself.
 
ive had friends who had kids out of marriage and it doesnt bother me -- if the couple are happy with the new to be addition then all is well with me

bbnt -- i agree with ur comment that its really none of our business on what the couple might do with the expected arrival of child be it get married or otherwise
 
My "brother" want to marry to his girl and turn out she left him and his own child by her! He suffers pain badly by his girl that he *hurger* to marry. He find a girl that trust in him and his daughter! I stand for him. It is matter to me if you are not marry or marry with those child who willing to support for.
 
bbnt said:
First of all it's none of your damn business if he get's married or not.Who the hell are you to pressure anyone into getting married??? Before you start offering advice maybe you should do a little growing up yourself.
Click to expand...

I know him for my life. Practice being brother. :cry:
I haven't pressure on him yet. :(
 
Fly Free said:
ive had friends who had kids out of marriage and it doesnt bother me -- if the couple are happy with the new to be addition then all is well with me

bbnt -- i agree with ur comment that its really none of our business on what the couple might do with the expected arrival of child be it get married or otherwise
Click to expand...


:werd: same here doesn't bother me cuz in fact more and more are livin together and havin kids and not married not yet which is good cuz depends on situation and if both doesn't want marriage then let them be.. and let them be happy u know?
 
Most of them are right. This marriage is not in your position to tell your friend. Maybe he is not ready for it.. Let him decide if he wants to marry or not. Marriage is a BIG step, maybe for your friend to feel that way. Just leave it alone and go flow with the life it is..

As you know that there is no requirement for everyone to get married. I know a lot of people who have children together and they are not married.

For example, Golden Hawe and Kurt (i forget his last name) have kids together but they are not married. There is nothing wrong with it.
 
I don't believe in children born out of wedlock... but I know it is not my place to tell anyone anything... I rather keep to myself... All I hope is that for the children's sakes, their parents will stay together, and maybe get married whenever they are ready...

Frisky Feline- you must be talking about Kurt Russell?
 
bbnt said:
First of all it's none of your damn business if he get's married or not.Who the hell are you to pressure anyone into getting married??? Before you start offering advice maybe you should do a little growing up yourself.
Click to expand...


:werd: I agree with BBNT. You can not pressure him into the marriage if he does not want to. If you do that to him, it will strain your friendship with him. Just congralute him and give him support, he will appreciate more. Really, I have several friends are not married and have kids. It does not bother me at all.

For me as a 33 year old lady, I don't want a marriage because it is a big step and scary for me. Today, there are too many divorces going on. I already told my parents in Phoenix a few years ago that I do want to have children, but marriage is big NO NO. They got quiet afterwards. My mom pressured me to get married and have kids..it turned me off and I felt so stressed by it, so I finally had guts to say that to them. My dad is just an opposite and backs off, respects me whatever I am doing.

What's more, I have three :deaf: potential sperm donors (whom I know, I plan to drop donor #2 because I felt that he was not ready..blah). I will let one of them know when I am ready to get concieve. I do want to have kids now, but I have to wait because I am searching for job first. Plus, I do want to include potential "daddy" into my future child's life.
 
I agree with Bbnt here....

If it was my child, ummm.....I honestly wouldn't want him to rush into a marriage if he is not ready to....sometimes people do make mistakes by getting pregnant so that's pretty much what life is all about , is to learn by the mistakes we make.....

I know I am not perfect as your friend there, but I did got pregnant when I wasn't even married....at least I was a good mother and still am! and I am sure your friend there will be one great dad even though he may not want to get marry yet! :D
 
EVERYBODY! YOU MISTOOK READ MY POST! I HAVEN'T PRESSURE ON MY FRIEND INTO MARRIAGE!!!
 
illustrator said:
Okay, I received news from my long-time friend, that his girlfriend is pregant. Honestly, I feel so disappointment for him. Ponder for a moment, what should I do by tell him about it? Should I pressure on him into marriage? Maybe he don't like it, because it's his life.

I simple sent instant message to tell him "Congratulate, future-father". He appericate it.

So, how do you feel about your friend or your child?
Click to expand...

I know you didn't talk to him but you asked us, "should i pressure on him into marriage?" that is why everyone of us just gave you some advise..
 
Frisky Feline said:
I know you didn't talk to him but you asked us, "should i pressure on him into marriage?" that is why everyone of us just gave you some advise..
Click to expand...

See the next sentence after you highlight my quote. "Maybe he don't like it, because it's his life." :squint:
 
Umm, Marriage is BIG step and money been spends than having a baby! You have to raise the kid together if you are agree to live with gf/bf... maybe later marriage or strong bonds, who knows. :)
 
illustrator said:
See the next sentence after you highlight my quote. "Maybe he don't like it, because it's his life." :squint:
Click to expand...

Yes you did. but you still asked us for question which is why i thought you wants to know what our opinions were.

Anyway, so you have mention ed it that "maybe he dont like it because its his life" so I got it. ;)
 
*Ouch ! Rubbin' mah eyes* Geez... Are my eyes ok now ? :eek2: You typo a BIG and RED caps that cracked my friggin' screen! LOL

But, anyways... just try to give him his own space and let him to think things over. I think it's a good idea that maybe, you can share your feelings with him and let him know what you feel for him. BUT, do not push. Just IMO!

I would do the same, if I have a friend like this and I would share my feelings with him/her and let him/her to decide on his/her on own. That's what a friend is for! :)
 
illustrator said:
EVERYBODY! YOU MISTOOK READ MY POST! I HAVEN'T PRESSURE ON MY FRIEND INTO MARRIAGE!!!
Click to expand...

*ahem*

I didn't say you did, I was just responding to the question you asked above ... :squint:
 
Hey now, let's not get carried away. If you think he made a mistake, don't reply directly to him and make him feel like a fool or an idiot. He was just asking for your opinion. He hasn't done anything yet. :)
 
Back
Top