You Tell Me.

[Mimsy]

Hearing parents with deaf baby think their baby is not perfect. They want a perfect baby so they try hard to find a way to make their baby perfect with hearing. Hearing parents are trying to fix their baby to reflect their ideals of perfection and belief that a deaf baby can never be happy or successful unless they can hear.

The reason I hope my future babies will not be deaf is for a simple reason that I want them to experience sounds. It's a good sense to have, the sense of hearing, for lots of reasons. For my feelings, it has nothing to do with having a perfect baby. I wonder, when parents find out their infants are deaf, do they actually think "OMG my baby isn't perfect." I imagine they think "Oh no my baby will never hear my voice singing to her etc". I could be wrong. But once the parents learn all the facts about Deaf culture, they see it's not such a terrible thing in life to not hear sounds. Happiness doesn't depend on being able to hear. My baby will be perfect to me no matter what.

 

[cobooboc]

I would like to say to you, the parents want their children to be perfect, but if it is deaf and mute children, as long as we are right to face this also nothing.

 

[Mimsy]

I would like to say to you, the parents want their children to be perfect, but if it is deaf and mute children, as long as we are right to face this also nothing.

Just wanted to say I hate the word "perfect". There's no such thing when it comes to people. Perfection is like beauty. It's in the eye of the beholder.

(By the way, I shouldn't use the word "hate", it being such a strongly negative word, but maybe I should have said "dislike very much."

 

[ambrosia]

I hear you Mimsy. If you ask me I think the posters who feel that the parents would be upset about having a deaf child because they're not "perfect" are projecting. Maybe there are some parents would think like that, but not many. I'm not quite sure why some people are having a hard time wrapping their head around the fact that parents are upset for their child. Parents in general wish for the happiness and well being of their children, and wouldn't wish for any limitations for their child. I imagine if a deaf parent had a child born with no arms or no legs would also be upset for their child, not upset that their child isn't "perfect" but upset for the hardships in life they could face.
it's not easy being green, and it's not easy being deaf either. Is it all doom and gloom? Of course not, but nobody wants their child born with the chips stacked against them.

 

[Lau2046]

I hear you Mimsy. If you ask me I think the posters who feel that the parents would be upset about having a deaf child because they're not "perfect" are projecting. Maybe there are some parents would think like that, but not many. I'm not quite sure why some people are having a hard time wrapping their head around the fact that parents are upset for their child. Parents in general wish for the happiness and well being of their children, and wouldn't wish for any limitations for their child. I imagine if a deaf parent had a child born with no arms or no legs would also be upset for their child, not upset that their child isn't "perfect" but upset for the hardships in life they could face.
it's not easy being green, and it's not easy being deaf either. Is it all doom and gloom? Of course not, but nobody wants their child born with the chips stacked against them.

Agreed. No parent wants their child to be disabled, but this has more to do with how others might treat them or that they'll get hurt at some point. I know my parents wished that I could hear fully, but when they saw me overcome so much, they were glad that I didn't have worse disabilities to overcome. (My mother had Rubella during her pregnancy with me.) As I got older, they realized that my learning disabilities had a far greater negative impact on my personality than not hearing. Parents love their children and just want the best for them, and that's the most natural response in the world.

Laura

 

[Jolie77]

I hear you Mimsy. If you ask me I think the posters who feel that the parents would be upset about having a deaf child because they're not "perfect" are projecting. Maybe there are some parents would think like that, but not many. I'm not quite sure why some people are having a hard time wrapping their head around the fact that parents are upset for their child. Parents in general wish for the happiness and well being of their children, and wouldn't wish for any limitations for their child. I imagine if a deaf parent had a child born with no arms or no legs would also be upset for their child, not upset that their child isn't "perfect" but upset for the hardships in life they could face.
it's not easy being green, and it's not easy being deaf either. Is it all doom and gloom? Of course not, but nobody wants their child born with the chips stacked against them.

Agreed. Have you thought, maybe it's because of the difference between the parent and the child? Something that both can't relate to? Certainly, parents in general all want their child to be healthy and to have least odds stacked against them. Just like myself, I was ok with the fact that both of my sons are deaf because it's something I could handle and knew what to do to show them how to get through life with proper guidance and such. But when Autism was thrown in the picture - Of course, I was devastated. I wasn't devastated of his autism but because of the hardships he will encounter through life. That's something I can't relate with him because I will never exactly know what it is like to be autistic unless I experience it myself.

So, I believe the OP was stating about how the relationship experience bases on how both parents and children may or may not have the similarities? FF, correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[playsonfreeway]

Wirelessly posted

Why are some of the certainly hearing parents get upset when they learn about their baby being deaf WHILE some of certainly deaf/hoh parents get not upset when they learn about thier baby being deaf?

So what is the difference between hearing parents and deaf/hoh parents about their reactions of learning about baby being deaf.

Why can't Deaf/hoh get upset that their baby being deaf? Sure some of them are upset but from what it is common knowledges that they are not upset about their baby being deaf. They have been through all their PERSONALexperiences facing in the majority of hearing world and still not get upset about their being baby. Hearing parents have not had any experience with deafness and STILLget upset about the deaf baby.

Same thing, vice versa with Deaf parents of Hearing Kids' reaction as well as Deaf parents of Deaf kids's reaction.
I wonder.

Can you define upset please I am not sure what are meaning