Would This Interest You?

AquaBlue

AquaBlue

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This tale is totally done (in my head). All I need are the details. All I have writing down is the following:


A boy and his father attended an unheralded burial. The boy shed many tears as the casket was lowered into the ground. The father squeezed his son's shoulder just so – in the same way the now dead man had when they met weeks prior. (The boy's father, a wealthy business owner, had his press in a small Italian town during the early 1970's.) The rich household afforded the son wasted leisure. The boy was lazy and his attitude lacked drive. The father's concern for his son's manner prompted him to take action.

At the end of the block, where the father's shop was located, was the old man's studio – the local glass maker. The father would gesture a greeting to the old man in the studio as he walked up to his business every morning. It was during one of those moments that the father decided to introduce himself to the old glass maker – a physically worn, but mentally alert fellow. After some days the two would share a drink or two in either one's place of business. They soon became good friends.

The father noted a weariness in the old man's gaze; the glass maker noted tension in his new friend's words. During one of their brief meetings, the father brought up his dealings with his son's lackluster ways. The old man had an idea - that the boy be his apprentice. The old man was willing to share the art of glass making with the boy. In the process the old man would teach the boy the value of living a productive, fulfilling life.

The father wholeheartedly agreed, and as soon as the next morning, the boy was present in the old man's studio, wide-eyed and unsure of the circumstance.
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It's not the prose of course, but just the story line (in part). Does the above fragment make you interested in what happens next? I want to know because the beginning is the hook that snatches the fish. Is my hook sharp? Does the bait allure your interest? Do tell.

Forget the grammar and stuff. I just wrote it however which way. I need to know if you desire to learn more of what happens in the story.

Thanks!
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It seems like it takes place in a old english town or something,kind of reminds me of The Stranger,I would read a little more,just to find out more
 
Seems a little odd to set the scene with an apprenticeship in the 1970's.

That would be more plausible a century before.
 
Bottesini said:
Seems a little odd to set the scene with an apprenticeship in the 1970's.

That would be more plausible a century before.
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Nah, that's how they still do things in Italy, Botts. That's why Italians are the master craftsmen :)


As for the OP's question: Sounds like what you have here so far are some good character sketches. You'd be letting the average reader into the world that is not often viewed (70s Italian village life, glassmaking, etc.). That is good enough to drive the plot.

But what will the plot be? You'll need to come up with some interesting action and main event(s) to hold our interest. At a certain point, we become tired of just learning character details. We want to see those details in action.

Also, what will the character motivation be? What do each of these characters want? Why does the old man want to teach the lazy son? What does the lazy son want?

How do all the characters change as a result of their interaction with each other and with the plot?

Answer these questions, and you'll have a story that I'd be interested in reading.

Good luck!
 
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