Miss-Delectable
New Member
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2004
- Messages
- 17,160
- Reaction score
- 7
http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2006/1/19/lifeparenting/12749612&sec=lifeparenting
Tuition, art and music lessons, dance classes and whatnot. Parents usually have the best intentions when they send their children for such activities; parents of children with special needs are no different.
Anna (a pseudonym) thought some tutoring would help her 10-year-old deaf son cope with his studies. She then hired John (not his real name) to teach her son. John, who was in his 20s, was not deaf but he knew sign language as he was hard of hearing. This, she thought, would help him relate better to her deaf son.
While she had hoped that John would help her son academically, he was getting “familiar” with the boy in other ways. Anna later learnt that John was sexually abusing her son. She had returned home unexpectedly early from work one day to find her son squatting on the floor and John standing over him with his pants down.
Though John was sent packing and the whole incident swept under the carpet, her son was emotionally scarred thereafter. He would imitate John’s actions and do the same to other children in school. As a result, he was sent away from that school, and subsequently, he was shuttled from one school to another.
The names have been changed to protect the identity of those involved but the unfortunate incident clearly demonstrates how our school system is unable to cope with, or provide support services in, such situations.
“Our current education system is sadly lacking in certain areas as not many teachers are proficient in sign language. They’re not competent enough to answer questions on sex posed by their deaf students. Then, there is also the issue of how to broach the subject of sex education with deaf children as there is a lack of proper signs,” says Lucy Lim, assistant manager at Pusat Majudiri “Y” (PMY) for the deaf in YMCA Kuala Lumpur. PMY is also a member of the Malaysian Coalition for the Prevention of Child Sexual Abuse.
She pointed out that deaf people usually communicated through touch as it is one way to gain the attention of another person.
“While it is an important aspect of communication for them, it can lead to inappropriate touching as deaf children aren’t taught the difference between what is safe and what is not acceptable. Children are always being hugged and cuddled, and they may think touching someone sexually is just an extension of that act.”
As someone who is constantly involved in the deaf community, Lim noticed that deaf people are often very action-orientated and there is a high possibility of a deaf person wanting to emulate what he or she has seen on a pornographic film in real life without realising its implications.
“It is simply easier for deaf students to learn by watching an action rather than explaining in words as they may not be able to grasp what is being said.
“As it is, vocal communication is already a barrier for the deaf. So, when they meet a stranger who can sign, they respond immediately and are very trusting. Usually for someone who can hear, the tone of another person’s voice can give an indication of the person’s intentions. But because the deaf child is disadvantaged in this respect, he can’t judge whether the person means him any harm. And, he or she cannot scream for help.”
Lim, who has been an advocate for the deaf for almost 20 years, also brought up that schools are often regarded as a safe refuge and the teachers are deemed to be protectors or guardians of children. While this is true in most cases, she says that parents don’t realise that sometimes the teachers or workers in the school can be a source of threat.
“Unfortunately, most people assume that the deaf are also slow in their thinking, so parents or friends tend to make decisions for them. The children are not taught to think for themselves and make their own decisions.
“There is a very real need for awareness and education on child sexual abuse among the parents and teachers themselves. In the child’s mind, bad things happen to him or her because God is angry and punishing him or her. We must make it clear to the child that it is not his or her fault when he or she is sexually abused.
“Going to see a psychologist already bears a certain social stigma in our society. What’s worse, there isn’t even any counselling available for the deaf even if you wanted to send your child to one.”
She adds that parents should make it a point to attend educational and sensitisation programmes that help people deal with victims of sexual abuse, especially children, and that social services be improved.
“And, caregivers and teachers should be more alert, and compelled to come forward and report if they suspect a child is being sexually abuse, whether by their parents or by other school workers.”
Tuition, art and music lessons, dance classes and whatnot. Parents usually have the best intentions when they send their children for such activities; parents of children with special needs are no different.
Anna (a pseudonym) thought some tutoring would help her 10-year-old deaf son cope with his studies. She then hired John (not his real name) to teach her son. John, who was in his 20s, was not deaf but he knew sign language as he was hard of hearing. This, she thought, would help him relate better to her deaf son.
While she had hoped that John would help her son academically, he was getting “familiar” with the boy in other ways. Anna later learnt that John was sexually abusing her son. She had returned home unexpectedly early from work one day to find her son squatting on the floor and John standing over him with his pants down.
Though John was sent packing and the whole incident swept under the carpet, her son was emotionally scarred thereafter. He would imitate John’s actions and do the same to other children in school. As a result, he was sent away from that school, and subsequently, he was shuttled from one school to another.
The names have been changed to protect the identity of those involved but the unfortunate incident clearly demonstrates how our school system is unable to cope with, or provide support services in, such situations.
“Our current education system is sadly lacking in certain areas as not many teachers are proficient in sign language. They’re not competent enough to answer questions on sex posed by their deaf students. Then, there is also the issue of how to broach the subject of sex education with deaf children as there is a lack of proper signs,” says Lucy Lim, assistant manager at Pusat Majudiri “Y” (PMY) for the deaf in YMCA Kuala Lumpur. PMY is also a member of the Malaysian Coalition for the Prevention of Child Sexual Abuse.
She pointed out that deaf people usually communicated through touch as it is one way to gain the attention of another person.
“While it is an important aspect of communication for them, it can lead to inappropriate touching as deaf children aren’t taught the difference between what is safe and what is not acceptable. Children are always being hugged and cuddled, and they may think touching someone sexually is just an extension of that act.”
As someone who is constantly involved in the deaf community, Lim noticed that deaf people are often very action-orientated and there is a high possibility of a deaf person wanting to emulate what he or she has seen on a pornographic film in real life without realising its implications.
“It is simply easier for deaf students to learn by watching an action rather than explaining in words as they may not be able to grasp what is being said.
“As it is, vocal communication is already a barrier for the deaf. So, when they meet a stranger who can sign, they respond immediately and are very trusting. Usually for someone who can hear, the tone of another person’s voice can give an indication of the person’s intentions. But because the deaf child is disadvantaged in this respect, he can’t judge whether the person means him any harm. And, he or she cannot scream for help.”
Lim, who has been an advocate for the deaf for almost 20 years, also brought up that schools are often regarded as a safe refuge and the teachers are deemed to be protectors or guardians of children. While this is true in most cases, she says that parents don’t realise that sometimes the teachers or workers in the school can be a source of threat.
“Unfortunately, most people assume that the deaf are also slow in their thinking, so parents or friends tend to make decisions for them. The children are not taught to think for themselves and make their own decisions.
“There is a very real need for awareness and education on child sexual abuse among the parents and teachers themselves. In the child’s mind, bad things happen to him or her because God is angry and punishing him or her. We must make it clear to the child that it is not his or her fault when he or she is sexually abused.
“Going to see a psychologist already bears a certain social stigma in our society. What’s worse, there isn’t even any counselling available for the deaf even if you wanted to send your child to one.”
She adds that parents should make it a point to attend educational and sensitisation programmes that help people deal with victims of sexual abuse, especially children, and that social services be improved.
“And, caregivers and teachers should be more alert, and compelled to come forward and report if they suspect a child is being sexually abuse, whether by their parents or by other school workers.”