Here's some things that TV's "Bewitched" characters would never say! 
I know the show well enough to think of stuff that they would not say on the TV comedy so I made these up. <smile>-- Nancy
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Endora: "Sam, Darrin is a wonderful husband for you."
---on the show, Endora and Darrin disliked each other, she disapproved of Sam marrying a mortal, and she couldn't get Darrin's name right.
Sam: "Darrin, I am through with your demanding me for not using witchcraft...I want a divorce!"
---Divorce was never an option on Bewitched because they love each other too much. They kind of "separated" on the show once, but they were back together again after they stopped fighting.
Uncle Arthur: "Bah, that's not funny!"
-- He was a practical joker on the show -- and was always laughing at something.
Maurice: "Darrin, would you like to go fishing with me since you are a great son-in-law?"
-- He's in agreement with Endora (his ex-wife) -- he disapproval of his daughter, Sam marrying a mortal.
Larry Tate: "No, I will not take credit for this -- Darrin did this all his own."
-- Larry Tate, Darrin's boss, was kind of money-hungry and wanted glory for himself.
Abner Kravitz: "Gee, Gladys, you are right!! I see a flying little boy with Mrs. Stephens!"
-- Mr. Kravitz never believed his wife on the show when she saw antics at the Stephens' across from their house.
Serena: "Hey, "Cotton Top", go back to your wife....I don't like you."
-- Serena, Sam's look-a-like cousin, called Larry Tate "cotton top" because of his white hair...and she actually liked him on the show (in flirting, to be frank).
Darrin: "Sam, I'm gay."
-- Darrin on the show seemed to like girls, and loved Samantha. This "fake quote" is a reference to Dick Sargeant as the 2nd Darrin, who was gay in real life.
Aunt Clara: "Humming Zappa Koko Do!" **a doll appears** "Oh, I did it!" and smiles proudly.
-- on the show, Aunt Clara never got her magic to work right.
Esmerelda: "Now don't you make me nervous, I am not going to disappear in thin air!" (she still looks in person form instead of vanishing)....."
--- Esmerelda, a maid for the Stephens who was a witch, usually vanishes whenever she gets nervous or frightened.
Dr. Bombay: "Sam, I don't know what you got, but I got plenty of time to figure that out!"
--- Dr. Bombay was always busy with something whenever Sam calls him for medical treatment (a witch disease, etc.)....and usually appeared in that attire (one time he wore a wetsuit since he was swimming in the ocean).
I know the show well enough to think of stuff that they would not say on the TV comedy so I made these up. <smile>-- Nancy_____________________________________________________________________
Endora: "Sam, Darrin is a wonderful husband for you."
---on the show, Endora and Darrin disliked each other, she disapproved of Sam marrying a mortal, and she couldn't get Darrin's name right.
Sam: "Darrin, I am through with your demanding me for not using witchcraft...I want a divorce!"
---Divorce was never an option on Bewitched because they love each other too much.
They kind of "separated" on the show once, but they were back together again after they stopped fighting.Uncle Arthur: "Bah, that's not funny!"
-- He was a practical joker on the show -- and was always laughing at something.
Maurice: "Darrin, would you like to go fishing with me since you are a great son-in-law?"
-- He's in agreement with Endora (his ex-wife) -- he disapproval of his daughter, Sam marrying a mortal.
Larry Tate: "No, I will not take credit for this -- Darrin did this all his own."
-- Larry Tate, Darrin's boss, was kind of money-hungry and wanted glory for himself.
Abner Kravitz: "Gee, Gladys, you are right!! I see a flying little boy with Mrs. Stephens!"
-- Mr. Kravitz never believed his wife on the show when she saw antics at the Stephens' across from their house.
Serena: "Hey, "Cotton Top", go back to your wife....I don't like you."
-- Serena, Sam's look-a-like cousin, called Larry Tate "cotton top" because of his white hair...and she actually liked him on the show (in flirting, to be frank).
Darrin: "Sam, I'm gay."
-- Darrin on the show seemed to like girls, and loved Samantha. This "fake quote" is a reference to Dick Sargeant as the 2nd Darrin, who was gay in real life.
Aunt Clara: "Humming Zappa Koko Do!" **a doll appears** "Oh, I did it!" and smiles proudly.
-- on the show, Aunt Clara never got her magic to work right.
Esmerelda: "Now don't you make me nervous, I am not going to disappear in thin air!" (she still looks in person form instead of vanishing)....."
--- Esmerelda, a maid for the Stephens who was a witch, usually vanishes whenever she gets nervous or frightened.
Dr. Bombay: "Sam, I don't know what you got, but I got plenty of time to figure that out!"
--- Dr. Bombay was always busy with something whenever Sam calls him for medical treatment (a witch disease, etc.)....and usually appeared in that attire (one time he wore a wetsuit since he was swimming in the ocean).