Shipwrecked Life

LinuxGold

LinuxGold

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Life is like unto wavering sea,
Reckoning death doth mortals see,
Wavering back and fro into an ado,
To our confused minds we bid adieu,
Sinking into water of neglience,
Compassed by the Abyss of silence,
As river of pain runs down and deep,
Bleeding from delta of watery weep,
Profusely flowing from shipwrecked heart,
Dying as youthful sunrays depart,
Cursed is the hurricane, O, Saboteur!
Our dying mortals lie as myrrh,
Fragrance flowing from abyss of unknown,
Where life has left its throne.

-Scott Hamm a.k.a LinuxGold
 
Great piece of work! I admit that this poem flows with unity, although, I'm a bit perplexed with the last line...(mind you, I'm not being critical of your work ;) ) I wonder if taking the word 'left' out and add something like this '...once graced...' ? Just a thought--but otherwise, it is indeed a good one! :thumb:

Btw, you sure can ignore my suggestion! ;)
 
Roadrunner said:
Great piece of work! I admit that this poem flows with unity, although, I'm a bit perplexed with the last line...(mind you, I'm not being critical of your work ;) ) I wonder if taking the word 'left' out and add something like this '...once graced...' ? Just a thought--but otherwise, it is indeed a good one! :thumb:

Btw, you sure can ignore my suggestion! ;)
Click to expand...

Thanks. About your comment, "left its throne" meant losing the dominance of life. I'm trying to figure out "...once graced..." statement in revelance to that last line.
 
LinuxGold said:
Thanks. About your comment, "left its throne" meant losing the dominance of life. I'm trying to figure out "...once graced..." statement in revelance to that last line.
Click to expand...

Like I said, ignore me! :nana: :D
 
LinuxGold said:
Alright, I just like to work down to the extreme ;)
Click to expand...

I understand...yet, you've created a great and wonderful poem...you're one of a few 'gems' in the Deaf community with how you're able to compile a poem with such clarity and richness.

Once again, a job well done!!

~RR
 
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