Read this and tell me your opinion/advice in truth

Volleyball23

Volleyball23

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FYI: I moved back with my husband.

Right now, my husband and I have the problems because he cannot trust me with my own love for him, because he don't want to getting hurt AGAIN. He and I've married for good enough, he told me abt his ex-girlfriends dumped him and how blah like that and they hurt him horrible, he don't want me to hurt him same thing like they did to him. I told him many times that Im not like his ex-girlfriends, I'm different. I got upset about it because he knew me for long time. Please can you give me advice and opinion so I can work out with my husband? Thank you so much.

Also did that happen to you before? I'm curious maybe I can get idea why he's scared to getting hurt, I don't know what it is. :dunno: Thank you again!
 
Volleyball23 said:
FYI: I moved back with my husband.

Right now, my husband and I have the problems because he cannot trust me with my own love for him, because he don't want to getting hurt AGAIN. He and I've married for good enough, he told me abt his ex-girlfriends dumped him and how blah like that and they hurt him horrible, he don't want me to hurt him same thing like they did to him. I told him many times that Im not like his ex-girlfriends, I'm different. I got upset about it because he knew me for long time. Please can you give me advice and opinion so I can work out with my husband? Thank you so much.

Also did that happen to you before? I'm curious maybe I can get idea why he's scared to getting hurt, I don't know what it is. :dunno: Thank you again!
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I do understand how you feel abt that.. Just trying to talk to him and tell him everything that you can say, I tried my best :dunno: :|
 
write the postive ways and negitive ways

make it so 10 listing real dislike as negivate ways.. Discuss with this issues 1.. 2...blah blah til 10 list.. Will come and working out together.. Worth try those ?
I've learned those long time ago about 4 yrs ago.
 
Volleyball23 said:
FYI: I moved back with my husband.

Right now, my husband and I have the problems because he cannot trust me with my own love for him, because he don't want to getting hurt AGAIN. He and I've married for good enough, he told me abt his ex-girlfriends dumped him and how blah like that and they hurt him horrible, he don't want me to hurt him same thing like they did to him. I told him many times that Im not like his ex-girlfriends, I'm different. I got upset about it because he knew me for long time. Please can you give me advice and opinion so I can work out with my husband? Thank you so much.

Also did that happen to you before? I'm curious maybe I can get idea why he's scared to getting hurt, I don't know what it is. :dunno: Thank you again!
Click to expand...

I'm sorry you're having these challenges. You seem like a nice person, and nice people should never have to go through these rough times. Though, fortunately, we grow stronger and learn more because of them.

I don't know what the situation is between you and your husband. It seems to me, though, that if he brings up previous hurts from long ago, it's a product of an emotional insecurity or a specific area he has not matured in yet during life. As much as I hate to say bad things about people, I think that's a pretty significant red flag.

Your signature mentions you've been married since 2003. I think that is quite some time to learn that you are a charming, honest and emotionally faithful woman.

Whatever happens, I wish the best for you all. :)
 
Trust and communication is important in relationship.

What makes him think you betray him as you said he don't trust you?

Show a worthy of respect and honesty to keep it alive.
 
since he say that, why first place he date u and married u, he should talk with u more discuss abt how feeling before getting start serious.. u know what i mean?? he should not hold himself til now tell u abt this, it can cause married plms.. it not good idea abt that.. he should tell u abt that before getting serious... u know what i mean?
 
Volleyball23 said:
FYI: I moved back with my husband.

Right now, my husband and I have the problems because he cannot trust me with my own love for him, because he don't want to getting hurt AGAIN. He and I've married for good enough, he told me abt his ex-girlfriends dumped him and how blah like that and they hurt him horrible, he don't want me to hurt him same thing like they did to him. I told him many times that Im not like his ex-girlfriends, I'm different. I got upset about it because he knew me for long time. Please can you give me advice and opinion so I can work out with my husband? Thank you so much.

Also did that happen to you before? I'm curious maybe I can get idea why he's scared to getting hurt, I don't know what it is. :dunno: Thank you again!
Click to expand...

why did u guys was seperated first place? but glad u re back with him, hope to work out with him :)

for me, i wouldnt come back with my husband not only cuz he has cheated on me also he hardly trust me too, wtf? i have never cheated on him since i met him, it sounds like he is guilty and paranoid i would give him a revenge something which i have never thought of i have dreamed to have wonderful family in faith, and he now wouldnt let me go, divorce, he still loves me, i dont get it he wouldnt trust me, cheated on me still loves me nonsense :confused:

maybe ur husband knows something afraid to tell u, if u tell him u will forgive him not matter what then he will feel free to tell u the truth :dunno:
 
I would not waste my breath trying to show that he could trust me again.. if you really want to be with him.. you'll just have to be yourself and do your daily thing everyday until he can stop feeling that way.. but if he keeps on and on, i'd leave again. You can't jeopardize your life by feeling this way or him making you feel like you're not good enough. (if you know you're a good woman and didn't do anything wrong then its not you.. its him)

on the other hand.. don't beg him or show your weakness. your husband is very insecure right now. you just show him love like you always have and continue to show it to him. that's all you can do.. tell him that he shouldn't compare you to his exes.. and that you are you and you are with him and you love him. if you didn't love him, you wouldn't be here with him. OR consider counseling for both of you? :dunno:
 
Volleyball23 said:
FYI: I moved back with my husband.

Right now, my husband and I have the problems because he cannot trust me with my own love for him, because he don't want to getting hurt AGAIN. He and I've married for good enough, he told me abt his ex-girlfriends dumped him and how blah like that and they hurt him horrible, he don't want me to hurt him same thing like they did to him. I told him many times that Im not like his ex-girlfriends, I'm different. I got upset about it because he knew me for long time. Please can you give me advice and opinion so I can work out with my husband? Thank you so much.

Also did that happen to you before? I'm curious maybe I can get idea why he's scared to getting hurt, I don't know what it is. :dunno: Thank you again!
Click to expand...
Ummm seems to me that his telling you that over and over may be that he is scared that you will leave him for good and he is making you feel bad. The more you feel bad for him the more you want to stay with him. Know what I mean? I don't know the whole story between you and him but that may be the reason.
 
Tamara said:
Trust and communication is important in relationship.

What makes him think you betray him as you said he don't trust you?

Show a worthy of respect and honesty to keep it alive.
Click to expand...

:werd: but what if he knows she wouldnt like something he is afraid of losing her, then he should have done :aw:
 
ButterflyGirl said:
Ummm seems to me that his telling you that over and over may be that he is scared that you will leave him for good and he is making you feel bad. The more you feel bad for him the more you want to stay with him. Know what I mean? I don't know the whole story between you and him but that may be the reason.
Click to expand...
yeah i agree with ya.. he's doing it to make your self-esteem low so you can feel as low as he is.. that's for volleyball..
 
ButterflyGirl said:
Ummm seems to me that his telling you that over and over may be that he is scared that you will leave him for good and he is making you feel bad. The more you feel bad for him the more you want to stay with him. Know what I mean? I don't know the whole story between you and him but that may be the reason.
Click to expand...
yea true! i agree with u!! it can be
 
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