Outsider Seeking Help

SweetColette

SweetColette

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Hi,

My name is Colette. I am not deaf. My hearing is actually splendid but that could have something to do with the fact that I am visually impaired. Now, you are all probably scratching your heads and wondering why I am here. I *am* visually impaired after all...perhaps I got lost ;)

Actually I am here to seek your help because of a new friend I have made - a web pal if you will. We met in one of those friend finder communities - Hi5.com. She is the sweetest thing but I had noticed the wording of her emails was unusual. I at first asked her if English was not her first language. She told me it was.

As we emailed things got worse and worse, and I understood her less and less. A friend of mine who is familiar with ASL then told me upon discovering that my new friend was deaf, that sign language converted "as is" from Sign to word, may not translate to written English in a compatible way, much as direct translation from one language to another comes out sounding funny. (does this make sense?)

My new friend, Wendy, asked me to come on MSN and chat with her and it was nothing short of a disaster. I don't know if she can understand me any better than I do her. I have written to her and tried to explain things, just like what I am doing here but I only succeeded in hurting her feelings. I do not think she understood...

She lives in Australia and I am pretty sure she uses their form of Sign known as Auslan. I do not know how different Auslan is from ASL.

I am heartbroken! Having a disability myself, I know how those without it can be hurtful, sometimes without meaning to be. I now have a friend who is desperate to communicate with me but I cannot understand her, and when I try and tell her I only succeed in hurting her feelings.

Is there anyone here who can offer a suggestion, or perhaps help me to draft an email in such a way that she would be able to understand the point I am trying to get across? I feel just terrible - I never wanted to hurt her :(

Colette

PS
This is a snippet of her writing style:

I just found your message is here already... I just wonder that it was fun with you to this message as well... I'll keep your email address in silent...
 
Getting Worse!

I just got another email from my friend. Here is what I wrote, and after, what I got back. Oh this is terrible! She does not understand...and I don't know what she wants to say to me :( :( :(
Please forgive me - I know it is considered a bad thing to post others emails, but I do not do it as a bad thing, I do it because...b/c I am just at a loss...a complete losss
----------------------------------------

Hi Win,

I did not change email addresses. I am still at xxxxxxx

I do not blame you for what happened with Ringo. They had a glitch and because of that sent me your email almost 50 times.

Win, you are a very sweet girl, I mean that, but the way you write is hard for me to understand. I have a friend who knows ASL (American Sign Language) and she told me that if you sign, the way you use words is different than for those who do not sign, like me.

It is like we each speak a different language and can't understand each other.

You send me emails, and the way you use English is hard for me to understand. Many times I can not understand what you are trying to say to me. The email you just sent to me at Hi5, again, I do not understand most of it. I understand that you are unhappy, but I don't know why.

I do not think you understand me either sometimes.

Maybe you can show this email to a friend or teacher and they can explain better to you what I am trying to tell you.

We can send emails to each other, but I think it is better that we do not try and chat anymore on MSN. I am sorry, really I am, but I just do not understand what you are trying to say when you write to me. Please show this email to a good friend so they can help you understand what I am saying to you ok?

Your Friend,
Colette
:)

------------------------
Hi Colette :)

I feel so understand what we are each other and are feel better together :)

I let you know I do not sent you over 50 time on ringo because it was so hard and it makes a good friends to share each other. I think that you don't like the ringo. And I will cancel for you this point. But don't worry be happy!!!

I do understand myself what we are saying it was so hard for us.

Yes I still your email address because of the delay failure that someone who sent me and told me that I do not resend the message so I was shocked that I thought it has been change or not... Of course I will keep your email address it will be keep in silent... I think you can your turn to send me anytime by email.

Omg!!! I feel so sad that I only first chat with you but It was so hard for us... Maybe another time we will have fun to chat it is easier save the time also I know how you feel that you will miss send to me by SMS because I have no idea of yourself it was hard to understand that it has been expensive in USA that you know I am lucky to send oversea it's cost 25 cent ($AU) so not too bad!!! It does not matter whatever would like ... MSN chat is so fun more often... I don't know why that you won't be chat anymore it was so sad I think it will be fun and happy... I always chat with a family and friends each other... Isn't interestend ? My interesting is more important to chat because of fun and take care.

Yes in Australia have AUSLAN (Australian Sign Language) is very different sign and spell alpabeth than ASL. I think you would love to learn sign language it is a good idea to understand.

I'll look forward to hear from you by email and it's your turn :) Make me feel happy soon.

Hope to hear from you soon

Hug!

Win :)
 
Thanx :)

Hello deaflibrarian

Thanx so much for your thoughtful answer :) I have indeed tried what you suggested (ie, asked her to elaborate what she means), but what I get back I still cannot understand, and in the past three weeks it has not gotten any better and in fact has become worse. I do have foreign friends and I have had to guess my way through some things they write, and if I ask we can usually get things worked out. With Win, I guess I am concerned whether or not *she* understands what I am trying to tell her. I get the impression that she does not, and if she does not, then neither of us is communicating with each other.

Do you think it would be possible to take what I am trying to tell her and compose it in the way that those who use ASL write? Would she understand that do you suppose?

Again, thank you for replying :)

Colette
 
Deaflib has said what I wanted to tell you, pretty much. :)

Could it be that your deaf friend has no point of reference with English, and you have no point of reference with her style of writing? Don't get frustrated, and it is nobody's fault. Not yours, not hers.. but I really gotta say something.. I think it's really courageous for both of you to be willing to talk with each other, despite the language barrier. What a great way to learn about each other, especially about yourself!
 
Hi there,

As you might have noticed that I'm from Australia. I'm profoundly deaf and Auslan is my main method of communication.

I know a lot of Deaf people who write the same way as your friend does. Since I was able to read and write, I've developed a skill of translating the way a Deaf person writes (writes the same way as Auslan is used) into formal English, and therefore it has helped me lots.

Most Deaf people write the same structure as Auslan in written English. For example, I would want to write down "I am going to the beach with my family tomorrow", but it would be written in the same way as Auslan is used - "I family go beach tomorrow".

Auslan doesn't use the same structure as formal English, but there is another sign language that is primarily used in primary and high schools called Signed English. Signed English is used in the same way as formal English is written.

Auslan is the main language of the Australian Deaf Community. Auslan is very expressive and uses alot more body language than Signed English does.

You could have a look at Auslan and see how it 'operates' at www.auslan.org.au

Hope this helps you :)

Sherrie.
 
Collette,

I think deaflibrarian covered it - what is even sadder is - I have met some illiterate HEARING people, too! *shakes head*

Anyway, at any rate - you are welcome here, whether you are visually impaired, hearing impaired, whatever. It's a place to meet folks, add your two cents, make friends, you name it. ;) Let me know if I can assist you in any way - even if it's getting to know your way around this place. :)
 
Hi,
As deaflibrian cover much she can. Some of my friends doesn't have good reading level like I do. Sometime they write bad gammar but I got it, for example I am washing clother, it mean I am washing clothes. MN Deaf school taught my friends poorly, lucky I left to go to mainstream school, so my english skills are ok. Deaf who goes to mainstream school fares well than ones in Deaf school like myself (no offense but I've noticed).

I am legally blind here too. If you want to PM me, that's ok with me.
 
You Guys Are the Best :)

Liza, thank you for your inspiring comment - it made me feel better in my sadness over this problem.
Sherrie, your post and the information it contained was just awesome - I will indeed have a look :)
Malfoyish, I know lots of those people who hear just fine and can't write worth jack ;)
Rachel, thanks for replying and just in general making me feel very welcome.

I have not lost hope for my new friend and I. I will have to work on understanding her and maybe the future will hold good things for us :)

Thanx all :)

Colette
 
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