Okay I figured out my problem!!

L

lilraysofhope

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I can hear, I am not without sound However, I have a tough time and I realize that I feel insecure (always afraid I am going to misunderstand or miss the "joke" or not respond correctly. Lately, I feel like I am afraid to talk to people because I will not be able to hear them (when they turn away) However, I don't feel that I would be accepted in a deaf community (I speak and do not know how to sign) However, I am teaching what I have seen in baby signing books to my 19m old daughter. Is it horrible to say that I would feel more comfortable w/deaf people or hard of hearing people because I would feel more at ease?????????:h5:
 
lilraysofhope said:
Is it horrible to say that I would feel more comfortable w/deaf people or hard of hearing people because I would feel more at ease?????????:h5:
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No, it's not horrible to say that, in fact, it's a feeling echoed by myself and many , many others on this board and elsewhere.

As for not feeling accepted by the deaf community, it takes time and surely, you can meet some oral deaf if you rather not use ASL.

Good luck with teaching your daughter sign language. This is something you two can bond a bit more over.

Maybe you can meet AD members who are in the same state as you and they could help you in person, if you like. Just an thought.
 
Hi, Lilraysofhope, I can understand your frustration and wanting to know if you should be with the Deaf community and be involve with the Deaf Culture. I know it is not easy for you not knowing where to start and how to do about it. We all have the same problem like you have. If you can find some deaf people who loves to use oral instead of ASL, then you have a right to do what you want. I am also happy that you are trying to teach your baby girl the baby signs. That is very important between you and your child. I did with my son who was just a toddler when I start to teach him baby signs. He grew up signing with me sometimes. He is now a full grown man of 31 years old, no longer a baby and very fluent in ASL. He is a CODA which mean Children Of Deaf Adult or Adults. He is hearing. So you are not the only one. I will try not to make a big deal for you so you can relax. As for me, I better back off from you and let you type whatever you feel. I am very glad that you can express your feelings. That is good. :h5:
 
In regards to feeling left out because you don't sign- I will tell you this much. MOST (but not all, there are always bad ones in any social group) Deaf people at social events aimed at Deaf signers will be okay with the fact that you cannot sign or that you're very bad at it. The best way possible to learn is by doing! Whip out google and look up what is in your area. Meetup.com has become popular for posting social events, too. I'd suggest just taking the "go for it" approach- you'll be surprised how easy it is.
 
Yes, do get out and meet other deafies. It's like playing the piano, shooting a gun, writing a book, you name it . . . practice, practice, practice.

I'm ashamed of my parents and four of my siblings on the subject of signing. My older sister was born deaf, yet only one family member learned her language, ASL.
 
I am like you, I prefer to hang out with Deaf people, even though I am 100% hearing. After work when my mom starts talking to me I sign back... then have to remeber that I need to use my voice lol
 
I felt the same as you did before I got my hearing aids, I would completely avoid group convo's and parties (in high school) all because I was extremly scared that I wouldnt be able to hear (or know) what was going on. I still worry sometimes, but not nearly as much.

My friends never really got it, they just thought i was ditching them. They would go bowling and stuff and I knew it would be to loud to hear/understand people. It sucked pretty bad.

This is how I ended up here.
 
I'm another 'been there.' Some friends stop inviting me to come with on outings because since if I can't see your mouth, I can't hear you. And they always ask me "Is something wrong," and wondering if I am in bad mood. I now have hearing aids but I figure why bother-are they 'really' my friend?

I also have a couple hearing friends who are very deaf friendly, like when I lie and say I heard them and they think I didn't they will call me on it. I have no worry with them.

It can be very frustrating-but hang in there, good friends, even for hearing people, are hard to find...but worth it!
 
I'm a hard of hearing person, myself. I went to the local deaf club on Thursday evening and I was quite intimidated by the lightning-speed hands flying everywhere, but they were very kind. Your best bet is to try and learn some sign language, you could probably start on the internet or a local group near you. As long as you can remember, "slowly, please" and "again, please" you should be fine. :D
 
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