Now that I'm much more able and stronger to share my own experience of watching my own dad's struggle to his own untimely death....
Back in 1993, when he first discovered that he had prostate cancer, it really hit him hard since finding out that he had this dreadful disease, it already had advanced rapidly beyond the stage where and when a person 'first' discover the disease and survive by having an immediate surgery...for three years, I had watched my dad bravely go to work, at a place he truly was dedicated to and having achieved numerous awards and patents for his acheivements, etc...at a company called "Rockwell International; Collins Radio and Avionics Co." for 37 or 38 years...during his last year, they even had a special parking spot for him so it wouldn't be soo hard for him to walk the distance to the building...as hard as it was for him, his dedication to his work reveal his passion which parrallel with his compassion and committment to family....
In 1996, instead of holding to his savings that he had acquired through work, etc...and passing it along to my mom, he used it to take the whole family and grandchildren to Maui, Hawaii...I can remember when changing planes in California, and we took a trolley out to the plane and having to walk out on the tarmac and up a flight of steps, I noticed how very difficult it was for my own dad to walk up those steps and helping him taking each step up...yet, he refused to let that get in the way of our 'vacation'...while being in Hawaii, he did enjoyed watching all of us 'swim', and one day, I helped him in the pool and swam while barely holding him and staying near, I could see the peacefulness and relaxation in his eyes...it meant so much to me to see that and seeing that he was able to enjoy a little swim...during through-out our stay, he did suffered new pains most noticeably in his arms and shoulders and being genuinely concerned for him, yet, he would insist that he was alright and didn't want to disrupt our time of fun and entertainment...also, it was during the time of my (last one) parents' 38th anniversary...I used up a whole morning to find the 'perfect' gift for them...even to the point of asking for ideas from the staff at the hotel we stayed at (Hyatt Regency in Kenapali Beach)...ending up getting a plant that is supposedly to live for a lonnnng time, I have forgotten the 'name' of this plant....
After this wonderful and beautiful trip to Hawaii...his visits to the hospital and doctors were becoming more frequent...we almost didn't make the trip when he developed an ulcer and the doctor wouldn't allow him to take the trip, but with prayers and much hope, he overcame that within two weeks before the 'date' that was planned for the trip...to make this short, I had a disagreement with my mom which kept me from speaking or seeing my parents for almost 2-3 months...then...I decided to 'patch' things up as I wanted to 'see' my dad and do whatever I could for him...during this week, I helped him with many things, including 'lifting' him up, carrying him to the shower, etc...and spending quality time with him in his bedroom, watching his favorite shows, talking with him...and NOT realizing through all this time during the week which was to be his last...I do thank God for putting into my mind and going over to the house and being with him through that week, spending the time with him, helping out in many ways....
On his last day here on earth, I got a call from my mom asking me to tear down a shelf that was in the garage...when I had arrived, I went to see my dad first and noticed right away how 'yellow' his skin was and mentioned to my mom and she simply didn't think so, and went on about my way in the garage...when later my mom had called the doctor...about what I had noticed, and the doctor said that he should come in immediately, and he was transported by amulance...about one hour later, I had asked the doctor on duty and asking him what his opinion was...and he said, "If he makes it through the night, he will be alright...." This startled me greatly...and kept close by his side, watching him while he was not alert...then moving him to a room upstairs....and my mom had called their minister to come in, and later, before he was to have a blood transfusion, I was sitting directly in front of the foot of the bed and seen something in my dad that was NOT natural, and figured to myself, it must be low count of white blood cells that was making him act very strangely and incoherent...then trying to tell my mom and my sister what I thought was going on, yet, they kinda push me aside and I went out into the hallway and said a prayer asking God for either a miracle to 'heal' my dad or to take him Home and out of all the sufferings....five hours later, he died in another room in the hospital, one thing that is so vivid in my mind is this: Walking into the white room, seeing the sun coming up and rays bursting into the room, the calmness and peaceful tranquility in the air just minutes from my dad passing on....was very strong....the peace I felt as I walked into the room gave me a surround sense that God was nearby...not being afraid....yet, when my dad went, my human nature overwhelmed me in tears, shock, and pain...then realizing that God had answered my prayer five hours earlier! This is one of what I experienced and watching someone closely going through the sufferings for three long years....
