A few good examples of negative-enabling are...
- "Calm down"
- "I don't like your attitude"
- "You are very rude"
- "You have a bad temper"
- "Sheesh, you need to open your mind up"
- "You are so close-minded"
- "You don't belong here"
- "I DISAGREE, IT IS UNFAIR!" (Capping is considered yelling)
- "I don't like the way you are coming after me"
- "I have noticed that you are obsessed with me, stop bothering me!"
- "Thank you for posting in a civilized manner"
The last example I wrote, it is usually negative-enabling because it give people the impression that they were thought of in a different way prior to the compliment. It shows that the person did not think much of the other person prior to the compliment and the tension between the two persons will continue after the compliment is made.
Plus, I do consider repeating a sign of negative enabling depending on the subject. For example, "I try to keep an open mind on the subject" a few times through the discussion, it is negative-enabling because people does get annoyed by the repeated postings.
A few good examples of positive-enabling are...
- "I disagree with the idea of yours"
- "I can not see how it is possible for the suggestion made to bring out a good result"
- "Your suggestion, you believe it will make good results because?"
These last three examples I made, they are the civilized way of talking.
The worst negative-enabling is to be a nitpicker about somebody's attitude, literacy skill, and characteristics. Making accusations is negative-enabling too as well and belongs in private discussions instead of the public.
