Miss-Delectable
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http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art37723.asp
With the holidays upon us, stressors in the home are increased considerably. The main stressor is financial, due to the family trying to make ends meet, and purchase gifts for the children and other family members. However, there are also the stressors of family gatherings. With the levels of stress high, those in domestic violence relationships are in greater danger. Abuse comes in many forms. For instance, there is physical, emotional, mental, verbal, spiritual, and sexual abuse. Domestic violence affects all ages, religions, genders, income levels, and cultures.
Abusers operate through power and control over their victims. They demand control over nearly every aspect of their victims life, such as finances, time spent with friends and family, intimacy, meal planning and preparation, housecleaning, caring for the children etc. The victim will remain silent for various reasons. Examples being lack of education, concern over taking the children away from the other parent, lack of finances, lack of self-confidence and self-worth, or the belief that the abuse is their fault.
Domestic violence does occur in the Deaf community. Oftentimes, the victim is Deaf and the abuser is hearing. For a Deaf individual, calling the police, speaking to medical personnel, obtaining legal help, and seeking counseling are all extremely challenging. First of all, the Deaf community is very close. Many victims of domestic violence hide the secrets of the abuse, not even confiding in family and friends. There is a sense of shame in exposing the secrets to anyone that is close to their family. There is a fear that no one will believe them. After all, no one else saw what the abuser did. Even interpreters know the Deaf families very well, which presents another challenge.
If a Deaf individual takes the brave and courageous step to seek help and flee the abuse, they not only have to try to find the appropriate resources within their community, but they must also acquire an interpreter. Personally, I have faced the challenges of attempting to obtain an interpreter for a court hearing, in order to get a temporary restraining order against my abuser. I was told, several times that the court would not provide one, due to the fact that it was my responsibility. Fortunately, I have a friend who is very knowledgeable in this area, and she helped me to obtain an interpreter for each hearing. The Deaf need interpreters in order to file a police report, have a medical examination if there are any injuries, explain the abuse to a doctor, police officer, judge, social worker, teacher etc.
Hearing victims meet individually with those able to assist them; however, Deaf victims are never simply one-on-one. They must share their secrets through their interpreter. Granted, interpreters are held by a code of ethics and are expected to simply interpret between the two individuals and not become personally involved in the conversation. However, the victim is still speaking to more than one individual, which increases the fear, shame, guilt etc.
If you are a victim of domestic violence, I urge you to go to one of the websites that are listed to the right of this article. I urge you to find the resources in your community and seek help. You are not alone. It is not your fault. If you know of someone that is being abused and would like to know how best to help them, I urge you to go to the websites as well. The websites, which I have listed to the right of this article, are all very rich in resources and information. There is also a domestic violence site and forum here at Bella Online. The editor of this site and forum is a survivor herself, and possesses a heart of compassion and understanding. I encourage you to become a part of her forum, if you would like someone to talk to.
With the holidays upon us, stressors in the home are increased considerably. The main stressor is financial, due to the family trying to make ends meet, and purchase gifts for the children and other family members. However, there are also the stressors of family gatherings. With the levels of stress high, those in domestic violence relationships are in greater danger. Abuse comes in many forms. For instance, there is physical, emotional, mental, verbal, spiritual, and sexual abuse. Domestic violence affects all ages, religions, genders, income levels, and cultures.
Abusers operate through power and control over their victims. They demand control over nearly every aspect of their victims life, such as finances, time spent with friends and family, intimacy, meal planning and preparation, housecleaning, caring for the children etc. The victim will remain silent for various reasons. Examples being lack of education, concern over taking the children away from the other parent, lack of finances, lack of self-confidence and self-worth, or the belief that the abuse is their fault.
Domestic violence does occur in the Deaf community. Oftentimes, the victim is Deaf and the abuser is hearing. For a Deaf individual, calling the police, speaking to medical personnel, obtaining legal help, and seeking counseling are all extremely challenging. First of all, the Deaf community is very close. Many victims of domestic violence hide the secrets of the abuse, not even confiding in family and friends. There is a sense of shame in exposing the secrets to anyone that is close to their family. There is a fear that no one will believe them. After all, no one else saw what the abuser did. Even interpreters know the Deaf families very well, which presents another challenge.
If a Deaf individual takes the brave and courageous step to seek help and flee the abuse, they not only have to try to find the appropriate resources within their community, but they must also acquire an interpreter. Personally, I have faced the challenges of attempting to obtain an interpreter for a court hearing, in order to get a temporary restraining order against my abuser. I was told, several times that the court would not provide one, due to the fact that it was my responsibility. Fortunately, I have a friend who is very knowledgeable in this area, and she helped me to obtain an interpreter for each hearing. The Deaf need interpreters in order to file a police report, have a medical examination if there are any injuries, explain the abuse to a doctor, police officer, judge, social worker, teacher etc.
Hearing victims meet individually with those able to assist them; however, Deaf victims are never simply one-on-one. They must share their secrets through their interpreter. Granted, interpreters are held by a code of ethics and are expected to simply interpret between the two individuals and not become personally involved in the conversation. However, the victim is still speaking to more than one individual, which increases the fear, shame, guilt etc.
If you are a victim of domestic violence, I urge you to go to one of the websites that are listed to the right of this article. I urge you to find the resources in your community and seek help. You are not alone. It is not your fault. If you know of someone that is being abused and would like to know how best to help them, I urge you to go to the websites as well. The websites, which I have listed to the right of this article, are all very rich in resources and information. There is also a domestic violence site and forum here at Bella Online. The editor of this site and forum is a survivor herself, and possesses a heart of compassion and understanding. I encourage you to become a part of her forum, if you would like someone to talk to.