Different Jokes.. LoL

[Awauphi]

The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win,
you're still a rat.
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"Adam," the heavenly voice called to the Garden of Eden,
"what did you and Eve do today?"
"We ate some fruit, Lord," Adam said reverently.
"Did you eat of the forbidden tree?" asked God.
"Yes, Lord, we did," Adam confessed.
"And then what did you do?" God asked.
"We made mad, passionate love all afternoon."
"Where is Eve now?" the Lord bellowed.
"She's down at the brook washing herself out."
"Oh, no," the Lord moaned." Now all my fish are going to smell
like PUSSY!"

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Why do people say they "worked like a dog"?
Our dog just sat around all day.
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Two good things from having Alzheimer's disease:

1. You can hide your own Easter eggs.
2. You meet someone new every day.
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THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Indubitably;
Innovative;
Preliminary;
Proliferation.

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Specificity;
British Constitution;
Passive-aggressive disorder;
Loquacious Transubstantiate.

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY
WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

Thanks, but I don't want to have sex;
Nope, no more beer for me;
Sorry, but you're not really my type;
Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight;
Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.
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A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people
mentioned in the will:
"To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as
well as good, I leave her the house and $2 million." The lawyer
continued,
"To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and
kept the business going, I leave her the yacht, the business and $1
million."
The lawyer concluded, "And, to my cousin Dan, who hated me,
argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in my will - well
you are wrong. Hi Dan!"
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Fu, Bu and Chu immigrated to the USA from China. They decided to
become American citizens, and "Americanize" their names.

Bu, called himself "Buck."

Chu called himself "Chuck."

Fu decided to return to China
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Buckwheat and Darla were in school, and the teacher asks Darla:
"How do you spell 'dumb'?"
Darla says, "d-u-m-b, dumb."
The teacher says, "Very good, now use it in a sentence."
She says, "Buckwheat is dumb."
The teacher says, "Now spell 'stupid.'"
Darla says, "S-t-u-p-i-d, stupid."
The teacher says, "Very good, now use it in a sentence."
Darla says, "Buckwheat is stupid."
When the teacher calls on Buckwheat and says, "Buckwheat, spell
dictate."
Buckwheat stands and says, "D-i-c-t-a-t-e, dictate."
The teacher says, "Very good, now use it in a sentence."
Buckwheat ponders for a few seconds, then spurts out, "I may be
dumb and I may be stupid, but Darla says my dictate good!"



got this via email..