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Adoptions giving kids families | clarionledger.com | The Clarion-Ledger
Her eyes were empty.
"No child should ever have that look ... like there is no light in their life," Carleton Smith says. "But I'm sure it was because of everything she had gone through."
The first two years of her life, Felecia bounced from relative to relative. "She never knew where she was going next," Smith says.
She wound up with Smith and his wife, Lisa. They took Felecia into their Ridgeland home as a foster child in March 2006. Last month, they adopted the 5-year-old whose big brown eyes now seem to have a voice all their own.
Felecia is one of 321 children adopted in 2008 through the Mississippi Department of Human Services. Another 243 were taken in by foster parents.
The number of children still waiting to be placed: 164. "We will never be satisfied until that number is zero," says DHS Executive Director Don Thompson.
"People say we have made a difference," Lisa Smith says. "But to us, Felecia is the one who has made a difference. She has filled our home with love."
Lisa Smith, 43, already was looking into adopting a child when she and Carleton married in August 2004.
"I have a 24-year-old son (from a previous marriage) and I just always wanted another one," Lisa Smith says.
"I was all for it," Carleton Smith, 44, says. "I had never had children but had prayed that one day I would. This was the path God chose to answer my prayers."
It wasn't easy.
"The first four or five months, Felecia would cry herself to sleep," Carleton Smith says. "I couldn't begin to count how many nights I slept on the floor beside her bed.
"I think it can all be traced back to neglect. She didn't get the attention a child needs."
Carleton and Lisa Smith changed that, in simple ways.
"Bubbles," Carleton Smith says. "Every child loves bubbles. So when I would get home from work every day, me and Felecia would blow bubbles. That was our thing.
"It's amazing how she has come out of her shell. Try keeping up with her for a little while. She'll wear you out."
Things have worked out so well with Felecia, the Smiths - both of whom work for Medicaid - are considering adopting another. "We would like a boy around Felecia's age," Lisa Smith says. "My son grew up without any brothers or sisters, and I don't want that for her.
"I want her to have everything we can possibly provide."
Steve and Misty Wilson's sons were both born seven weeks early. Josh was given a 50 percent chance of living. DaKota had a heart defect that required surgery, then at age 2 was diagnosed with a hip condition so serious doctors predicted he would never walk on his own.
Josh and DaKota - now 14 and 12, respectively - are healthy.
"Doctors really can't explain it," Steve Wilson says. "But after what God did for us, healing our boys the way he did, we only felt it was right that we try and help another child who needed it."
Meet 13-year-old DeVaughn, whom the Wilsons adopted this year after serving as his foster parents since November 2004.
"We would've adopted him sooner, but his paternal rights weren't terminated until this year," Steve Wilson says.
And while they have provided DeVaughn a permanent home, Steve and Misty Wilson say DeVaughn has done just as much for them. "I call DeVaughn our character builder," Misty Wilson, 33, said. "Without him, we would be very dull and boring people. Josh and DaKota are real laid back. DeVaughn ... he's full of himself. There is never a dull moment around our house."
Having three boys who were born within 15 months of one another forced the Wilsons to become more structured.
"We now have a chore sheet and a color-coded schedule of the boys' activities," Misty says. "All the kids have chores they are required to do before and after school, such as making their beds and cleaning their rooms. And there are rules."
Such as: Each boy must comb his hair before eating breakfast.
"They're at that age when they like looking at themselves in the mirror," Misty Wilson says. "If we didn't require that, we'd never get out of the house on time every morning."
It took Josh and DaKota a while to adjust to having a new brother nearly the same age.
"They had always had chores, but never a certain time to finish them by," Misty Wilson says. "So Josh and DaKota weren't too fond of that for a while. But now they're like triplets."
"Like all brothers, they can be at each other's throats one minute, then ready to protect each other from anyone and anything the next," says Steve Wilson, a 37-year-old engraver for National Awards in Jackson.
Originally, the Wilsons had inquired about adopting a girl. But that changed when DeVaughn came for a one-week visit.
"He was staying with an older woman who lived out in the country and couldn't get him to any sports activities," Misty Wilson says. "And that very first week, we could tell DeVaughn was a natural athlete who needed to be playing sports."
With the blessings of his former foster parent, DeVaughn moved in with the Wilsons a month later.
"He made it known pretty quick that if anybody was going to adopt him, he wanted it to be us," Steve says. "And it's worked out great. He did everything we asked of him. He showed us he wanted to be a Wilson.
"And I told him the other day, if the house was on fire, I'd walk in there and pull him out just as quickly as I would the other boys. DeVaughn is my son, too."
Tyrone and Marcina Blackmon asked their children last month to make out their Christmas wish list.
Like a typical 8-year-old, Tiye filled a page in a flash.
"But when Trey handed us his, it was blank," Marcina Blackmon says, referring to their 11-year-old foster child. "I don't think he knew what a wish list was."
Trey was born deaf. And until he moved in with the Blackmons in August, "he had behavior problems and he was falling further and further behind other kids his age." Marcina Blackmon says. "He was using what I call 'home' signing to communicate ... He would point at things.
"And his vocabulary was nowhere near what it should have been. I asked him one time about getting something off the patio. He had no idea what a patio was."
But he landed at the right place to learn. For years, the Blackmons have wanted to adopt a deaf child. Tyrone has been deaf since birth and serves as football coach and teacher at the Mississippi School for the Deaf in Jackson.
"I know what it's like to be caught in a world of silence," says Tyrone Blackmon, who signs and his wife interprets his words.
Tyrone Blackmon's parents divorced when he was 7 weeks old. His dad learned sign language. His mother did not.
"So whenever Tyrone was around his mother and her side of the family, he couldn't communicate," Marcina Blackmon says. "That experience has stayed with Tyrone, and I think that's one reason we feel like we could give a deaf child a good opportunity to succeed in life."
The Blackmons, who expect the adoption process to be completed early next year, have required Trey to learn proper sign language. They have gone around the house and posted signs on objects such as the refrigerator and curtains. "Anything to increase his vocabulary," Marcina Blackmon says.
They are pleased with Trey's improvement.
"It hasn't been gradual ... It's been in leaps and bounds," says Marcina Blackmon, who learned sign language as a student at Jackson State when she worked as a volunteer at MSD.
"The one thing I don't want to see is Trey get lost in life and caught up in the system," says Tyrone Blackmon, who also officiates football and baseball games for the Mississippi High School Activities Association. "There are lots of opportunities out there, even if you are deaf. But you have to be able to communicate with others. That is the whole key.
"If you can't communicate, you can't learn. We are determined to make sure Trey doesn't lose out."
A student at MSD, Trey went out for football for the first time this past season. Just under 5 feet and already wearing a size 11 1/2 shoe, Trey took to the game quickly.
And on the day the pee wee coach was handing out jerseys, Trey randomly grabbed No. 62 - the number his soon-to-be daddy wore in high school.
Her eyes were empty.
"No child should ever have that look ... like there is no light in their life," Carleton Smith says. "But I'm sure it was because of everything she had gone through."
The first two years of her life, Felecia bounced from relative to relative. "She never knew where she was going next," Smith says.
She wound up with Smith and his wife, Lisa. They took Felecia into their Ridgeland home as a foster child in March 2006. Last month, they adopted the 5-year-old whose big brown eyes now seem to have a voice all their own.
Felecia is one of 321 children adopted in 2008 through the Mississippi Department of Human Services. Another 243 were taken in by foster parents.
The number of children still waiting to be placed: 164. "We will never be satisfied until that number is zero," says DHS Executive Director Don Thompson.
"People say we have made a difference," Lisa Smith says. "But to us, Felecia is the one who has made a difference. She has filled our home with love."
Lisa Smith, 43, already was looking into adopting a child when she and Carleton married in August 2004.
"I have a 24-year-old son (from a previous marriage) and I just always wanted another one," Lisa Smith says.
"I was all for it," Carleton Smith, 44, says. "I had never had children but had prayed that one day I would. This was the path God chose to answer my prayers."
It wasn't easy.
"The first four or five months, Felecia would cry herself to sleep," Carleton Smith says. "I couldn't begin to count how many nights I slept on the floor beside her bed.
"I think it can all be traced back to neglect. She didn't get the attention a child needs."
Carleton and Lisa Smith changed that, in simple ways.
"Bubbles," Carleton Smith says. "Every child loves bubbles. So when I would get home from work every day, me and Felecia would blow bubbles. That was our thing.
"It's amazing how she has come out of her shell. Try keeping up with her for a little while. She'll wear you out."
Things have worked out so well with Felecia, the Smiths - both of whom work for Medicaid - are considering adopting another. "We would like a boy around Felecia's age," Lisa Smith says. "My son grew up without any brothers or sisters, and I don't want that for her.
"I want her to have everything we can possibly provide."
Steve and Misty Wilson's sons were both born seven weeks early. Josh was given a 50 percent chance of living. DaKota had a heart defect that required surgery, then at age 2 was diagnosed with a hip condition so serious doctors predicted he would never walk on his own.
Josh and DaKota - now 14 and 12, respectively - are healthy.
"Doctors really can't explain it," Steve Wilson says. "But after what God did for us, healing our boys the way he did, we only felt it was right that we try and help another child who needed it."
Meet 13-year-old DeVaughn, whom the Wilsons adopted this year after serving as his foster parents since November 2004.
"We would've adopted him sooner, but his paternal rights weren't terminated until this year," Steve Wilson says.
And while they have provided DeVaughn a permanent home, Steve and Misty Wilson say DeVaughn has done just as much for them. "I call DeVaughn our character builder," Misty Wilson, 33, said. "Without him, we would be very dull and boring people. Josh and DaKota are real laid back. DeVaughn ... he's full of himself. There is never a dull moment around our house."
Having three boys who were born within 15 months of one another forced the Wilsons to become more structured.
"We now have a chore sheet and a color-coded schedule of the boys' activities," Misty says. "All the kids have chores they are required to do before and after school, such as making their beds and cleaning their rooms. And there are rules."
Such as: Each boy must comb his hair before eating breakfast.
"They're at that age when they like looking at themselves in the mirror," Misty Wilson says. "If we didn't require that, we'd never get out of the house on time every morning."
It took Josh and DaKota a while to adjust to having a new brother nearly the same age.
"They had always had chores, but never a certain time to finish them by," Misty Wilson says. "So Josh and DaKota weren't too fond of that for a while. But now they're like triplets."
"Like all brothers, they can be at each other's throats one minute, then ready to protect each other from anyone and anything the next," says Steve Wilson, a 37-year-old engraver for National Awards in Jackson.
Originally, the Wilsons had inquired about adopting a girl. But that changed when DeVaughn came for a one-week visit.
"He was staying with an older woman who lived out in the country and couldn't get him to any sports activities," Misty Wilson says. "And that very first week, we could tell DeVaughn was a natural athlete who needed to be playing sports."
With the blessings of his former foster parent, DeVaughn moved in with the Wilsons a month later.
"He made it known pretty quick that if anybody was going to adopt him, he wanted it to be us," Steve says. "And it's worked out great. He did everything we asked of him. He showed us he wanted to be a Wilson.
"And I told him the other day, if the house was on fire, I'd walk in there and pull him out just as quickly as I would the other boys. DeVaughn is my son, too."
Tyrone and Marcina Blackmon asked their children last month to make out their Christmas wish list.
Like a typical 8-year-old, Tiye filled a page in a flash.
"But when Trey handed us his, it was blank," Marcina Blackmon says, referring to their 11-year-old foster child. "I don't think he knew what a wish list was."
Trey was born deaf. And until he moved in with the Blackmons in August, "he had behavior problems and he was falling further and further behind other kids his age." Marcina Blackmon says. "He was using what I call 'home' signing to communicate ... He would point at things.
"And his vocabulary was nowhere near what it should have been. I asked him one time about getting something off the patio. He had no idea what a patio was."
But he landed at the right place to learn. For years, the Blackmons have wanted to adopt a deaf child. Tyrone has been deaf since birth and serves as football coach and teacher at the Mississippi School for the Deaf in Jackson.
"I know what it's like to be caught in a world of silence," says Tyrone Blackmon, who signs and his wife interprets his words.
Tyrone Blackmon's parents divorced when he was 7 weeks old. His dad learned sign language. His mother did not.
"So whenever Tyrone was around his mother and her side of the family, he couldn't communicate," Marcina Blackmon says. "That experience has stayed with Tyrone, and I think that's one reason we feel like we could give a deaf child a good opportunity to succeed in life."
The Blackmons, who expect the adoption process to be completed early next year, have required Trey to learn proper sign language. They have gone around the house and posted signs on objects such as the refrigerator and curtains. "Anything to increase his vocabulary," Marcina Blackmon says.
They are pleased with Trey's improvement.
"It hasn't been gradual ... It's been in leaps and bounds," says Marcina Blackmon, who learned sign language as a student at Jackson State when she worked as a volunteer at MSD.
"The one thing I don't want to see is Trey get lost in life and caught up in the system," says Tyrone Blackmon, who also officiates football and baseball games for the Mississippi High School Activities Association. "There are lots of opportunities out there, even if you are deaf. But you have to be able to communicate with others. That is the whole key.
"If you can't communicate, you can't learn. We are determined to make sure Trey doesn't lose out."
A student at MSD, Trey went out for football for the first time this past season. Just under 5 feet and already wearing a size 11 1/2 shoe, Trey took to the game quickly.
And on the day the pee wee coach was handing out jerseys, Trey randomly grabbed No. 62 - the number his soon-to-be daddy wore in high school.