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Still shaggin’ the Memphis mud turtle? :barf:

You still playing with explosives and sporting a Barbie backpack? :squint:

Well, how would you feel if you had to live in somebody’s sock drawer? Oh sure—if I were made of stainless steel and my name were ‘Cuisinart’, I would be proudly displayed on your kitchen counter and lovingly given a weekly polish. But do you extend the same care to “the dildo”? Hell, no—the...

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it a million times over—the day needs to come when you all start treating your vibrators with the same care and respect that you give all your other small electronics. We’re tired of being thought of as “just the dildo”. Until you all start giving us the respect...

HEY! There was just that ONE TIME when Cheri’s boyfriend drank all her beer after the liquor store closed and passed out with his head in the bathtub. It was no fun for me either, believe me. I wasn’t very happy about being soaked in Lysol and run through the dishwasher, either. Thanks for the...

Sorry, I draw the line at Thermos bottles. You need professional help, my friend. :cold:

Too small for which hole?

I'll bet you got one of those big black ten inch hummers that gives the lawnmower an inferiority complex, dontcha? :squint:

Wonderful! Now was that so hard? :tears:

Cuz I’m Cheri’s vibrator, dammit. I’m a one bush man.

I did. They told me that your nickname is “shrimp on the barbie”, and that if it weren’t for guys like me, they’d never get off.

You never even tried; that's my whole point. Dildos are God's creatures too. :tears:

Do you guys even have dildos in Australia, or do you just squat on a can of Foster’s? :giggle:

Yeah, and I hope you're standing on the edge of a cliff when you do it. :fu:

I don't like the looks of that dobie in your avatar... :squint:

Well, I’m only four years old, and I can barely reach the keyboard. Cut me some slack here, will ya? :roll:

Nothing’s ever serious when you’re talking to a purple dildo, is it? You people make me sick. :barf:

Whaddaya mean “not active for a long time”? Cheri musta blown through half a case of D cells yesterday. They could hear her howling in the next county!

OK—that was really hitting below the belt. :squint:

That’s what you think. You people suck so bad you even suck at sucking!