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posts from hell really did his BEST for Jerseymaid that day! :rofl:

In a BARN?!?!? In KANSAS?!?!? BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You are OWNED, dumbass!!! :rofl:

Yeah, and pass the bottle.

I hope in your next life you come back as a dildo. Then let's see if you can remember how old you are.

Just use your freakin' imagination and ask yourself what a typical day is like for me in Cheri's household. Now ask me again if I "like my job" or not. Jebus—I sometimes wish I had been born a butt plug. :roll:

I'm only five years old (I'll be six in December), but I'll oblige.

Pffft—WTF does NASA know, anyway? They’ve been wrong before, and they’ll be wrong again. Just not for very much longer. What you peeps don’t realize is that a secret society of purple vibrators is behind the events which will occur in 2012. We’re taking over the world. You will be assimilated...

Holy crapola! Now I've seen everything. Welcome back to the nuthouse, Heath. :wave:

It's an absolute fact. Stop paying on all you insurance policies right now. Trust Barney on this. Barney :type:

I am the very model of perfection, a new breed of being—Homo plasticus vibratius. There are none greater than myself. I have no imperfections; I am as a God to you pathetic beings. You should all bow before me instead of keeping me in locked in the nightstand next to a one dollar Jesus candle...

OK, who’s next? We have to solve all of the world’s problems before December of 2012, so let’s not waste any time here. After that it’s not going to matter anymore. But then again, I’ll be the last sentient being left on Earth, and I think I’m gonna enjoy that.

Avedis Zildjian is rolling over in his grave right now. :roll:

At least somebody pays attention and phrases his questions in the proper format. Barney appreciates that immensely. Now to answer your question. First I would take one of rockdrummer’s drum sticks and shove it up his ass. Then I would remove it, and shove the other drum stick up his ass and...

Again with the general questions. This is the last time I’m going to be generous. I only solve problems here, not answer generalized questions. And I’m not a freaking psychic either, so don’t ask me if your cat hates you or if you’re going to get good 3G coverage in the afterlife. Basically, you...

That Levonian guy sure has a perpetual hard-on for Miss P. What’s his major malfunction, anyway? :shrug:

Well, these are really general questions as opposed to problems which need to be solved, but I’ll tackle them anyway just because I like you. I think the doctor leaves the room because there’s nothing for him to do while you’re getting undressed, so he thinks the time could be better spent...

Yeah! What he said!

Influenza is God’s way of punishing people for not being nice to their vibrators. Treat your dildo with kindness and respect and God will stop making you sick. Barney :type:

I wuv yoooo... :hug:

Buy a purple vibrator. Your finger polish is wearing off because you diddle yourself too much. Remember—never send your fingers to do the Big Toy's job. And stop trying to pleasure yourself with your iPhone. There's no app for that. Barney :type: