Scared of communicating with hearing people

hainvg something in common conversation might stay in the event more closely, thats good it give a comfortable predictability, and yet you'd know now everyone will stay on that, wil be news and all, always something new to talk about, and new people, but its isnt overwhleming, and i honesty couldnt think of a better way...do it. find out what you can join and BE BRAVE, and be freindly -doesnt have to be talkative, just being there is pretty much all they expect from you...
 
scoobydoo said:
It's hard too. I can only lip read and hear so much. I feel like such a burden when I ask people what they said and whatnot.
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You're making me cry. It's not a burden for people to repeat what they are saying to you. That's just common courtesy which you deserve.
 
If you behave like you're a burden, than that's how you'll be treated. We teach people how to treat us by our own behavior. Be confident, sociable, and give them a chance to know the real cool you. :hug:
 
Mimsy said:
You're making me cry. It's not a burden for people to repeat what they are saying to you. That's just common courtesy which you deserve.
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It doesn't really happen that way in the long term.
Better advice is just to find a way to entertain oneself if stuck in a hearing gathering.

In large family groups, I usually don't know what is going on, unless people come to communicate with me one on one. It's really unrealistic to expect much if it's people you don't even know.

I take electronic games and books and just do that during times when others are talking.
 
Mimsy said:
That makes me really sad. I wish it wasn't this way.
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we are provide help you encourage to your peace help your feeling comfortable,

many people have sadly on life previous on grieft hard life not easy, best positive effort love your follow stronger, your best want to happy life,we are happy hear your positive life! wise

Bottesini said:
What I am trying to tell you, is don't be sad.

It's just a fact of life.
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it is very not easy!

I aware it, reason, respect to life to her

Don't be sadly how feeling to comfortably mercy respect to her best,
how feeling to respect comfortable best how feeling!
we are understand
 
Bottesini said:
It doesn't really happen that way in the long term.
Better advice is just to find a way to entertain oneself if stuck in a hearing gathering.

In large family groups, I usually don't know what is going on, unless people come to communicate with me one on one. It's really unrealistic to expect much if it's people you don't even know.

I take electronic games and books and just do that during times when others are talking.
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i can relate with that, - almost- in large groups (even family groups) i dont know whats going on...get this i dont know what going on in a hearing classrooms...maybe in what we're supposed to be learning yes,. but classroom 'life' the goss, the social who's whos who got a rich daddy, whos brainy, whos cheeky, whos a flirt (yes young girls when i was young boy, had flirts, not sex you know more who is good looking, who will kiss and who have kissed her etc etc), these things i hardly knew about, and its really damageing...still damaged me to this day, but im finding more peace about that by being abit more connected in the deaf world...but stll long way off, i want a gf, i want to have 1 or 2 kids, and i want to be a grand dad one day im too worldy to be a loner, loners *was* my way...i've had it, its time to live, yes, LIVE...but its a harder road to take....sit at home is so easy, neat and clea just likie an unused item, but may or may not become a metaphorical mueseum piece but never took a chance, its like a car staying i the garage it never had a good journey, never took families to places for holidays to be remembered, the odd bumpy road, maybe an event of flat tire all that...it *life*...
so there...dont ever fucking stay home cus you're too afraid, be MORe afraid of living a lifeless live, GET THE FUCK OUT and LIVE.. OK
but i do truely understand Botti, im blind in one eye, i couldnt play sports (but didnt stop me from doing martial arts later after i left school, or did motocross for 10 years , beating even guys thought i was on a 490 but i was only on a 200 (i was going FAST...and cuz i befreinded a track owner so i got very lucky to practise during week whill everyone at work , while the track was getting 'plowed' and raked' and 'planed' straight....i was a track tester - this is how far i got,awesome ok not a world champion or national champs, but i met my own *own* limits , and thats an incredible feeling and memory to behold...
>>>>>>>>>>>>it all happened because i didnt want to stay home>>>>>

remember that....just TRY....take a risk...a Safe risk...join a social games club is by far the BEst advice anyone could give you right now, now the rest is Up to YOU...
what ya gonna do, what you ganna do NOW? what you gonna DO??!!!
 
Oh btw i wasnt 'talking to Botti" only for a tiny bit yes *and im amzaed botti fucking beats me time to time in angry birds LOL...blind bitch...LOL

um..real point all this most recent post above is directed to the OP (original poster)...and free for all to see to, if anyone want the (ick) inspiration, its not really inspiration, just a reminder, DO NOT STAY HOME...I mean DO not make it YOUR lifestyle...OK gardening all that, but you know...only old people do that, they're allowed to...but when you're young the world is supposed to be your oyster... so get out there fishing!! swim out with the sharks (oh shit i dont mean literally that, but if you're gaem go for it, only go with the pros...(i wouldnt i dread my bloody smells too fucking delicious to them...)

i wanna live not be eaten alive LOL....

another way of looking, bordom and isolation is ALOT like being eaten alive, FUCK THAT!!!

try find and get that safe zone for talking without a high risk of 'WHAT are they talking about" get into a safe predictable sitaution but a situation where it is BOUND to broad out...that's the key that's what you got to look for...

also a sports, or group activity thats not too hard to get good at, and be involved without embarrassing yourself, is another - im SURE you'd figure that out...
that's Your homework, so get onto it..
 
Grummer said:
Oh btw i wasnt 'talking to Botti" only for a tiny bit yes *and im amzaed botti fucking beats me time to time in angry birds LOL...blind bitch...LOL
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:lol: Not everyone calls me that as affectionately as you do!! :wave:
 
When I'm with my Italian-speaking friends and there are other friends who don't speak Italian, we stop the Italian and speak in English to make them not feel left out. This must happen with deaf and hearing situations.
 
Mimsy said:
When I'm with my Italian-speaking friends and there are other friends who don't speak Italian, we stop the Italian and speak in English to make them not feel left out. This must happen with deaf and hearing situations.
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That would be nice, but would require hearing to be nearly as fluent in sign as in speech. It's not likely.

When my deaf friend is with us, I try to sign at least a summary of what people are talking about, but I just can't keep up all the time, I'm not good enough.
 
Mimsy said:
When I'm with my Italian-speaking friends and there are other friends who don't speak Italian, we stop the Italian and speak in English to make them not feel left out. This must happen with deaf and hearing situations.
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ya not in a fucking mafia are you?
i actually happened to knew a girl whose father did...yikes lol
 
im the guy who the police wew *not now theu figured i was set up* i was the one who beat up a mob boss (never knew who he was) and kicked his right out of my house....and for about 5 year police were like ....shit be careful with him....LMAO.... i sneaked thru police stations avoiding cameras, stole beer of airport pubs in wee hours...
all the crazy shit LMAO


no i dont do that now and would never show how, AND tech and changed people are way more paranoid than ever...sad, just real sad , what fun i had !!!
its so fucking fun..LOL
 
its funny as hell

glad i lived abit

and communicating IS important just start slowly, and DONT steal !!
 
I agree with what a lot of people have been saying here. I think you need to come to terms with your hearing loss and just accept it. If you keep trying to fight it or try to be "normal" then you will only end up being miserable. I learned that the hard way. I was born deaf, but I was raised in the hearing world. For instance, I've always had more hearing friends than deaf ones. I always wished that I was "normal" so that I could communicate with these friends better and get along in the hearing world more easily, because I am kinda stuck there right now.

But at the same time I got fed up with being hurt by those people close to me (like eiryls mentioned), or constantly feeling miserable, left out, like the third wheel, and so on. I have too many sad stories to tell. So I no longer put myself in these social situations - I actually try to avoid them. I am now in the process of immersing myself in deaf culture and meeting more deaf people who I can talk to instead. I will still interact with hearing people in my career, however, I figured out that I need to find other ways to have a healthy social life instead and be happy instead of trying to be "normal."

Horizon, have you considered the possibility of meeting more deaf/HOH people and having group conversations with them instead of hearing people? You can still satisfy your desire for a group conversation there. But you would be able to communicate with these people a lot more easily than hearing people - you might be much happier there. If you still want to have group conversations with hearing people, though, then again, you need to accept that it is not the best idea.

For work, you need to explain your communication issues to your boss. Talk to him to see if you can come up with solutions to work around these issues - so you can ensure that you will do your best or be really efficient at your work. Tell them that if they can help you, you will help them as well. I don't know what you do for a living or which issues you face exactly other than a couple of staff not bothering to explain themselves to you. But yeah, if you are having problems at work you need to communicate with your boss and hopefully you guys can work together to make it easier for you to communicate with them.
 
Pythias said:
6. If you have enough info (context, lip movement, sound, etc) to figure out what was just said, but need a minute or two to run possibilities through your mind, it is useful to ask a question that's answer you already know, but that will take a while for the other person to explain. This way you don't need to be listening, and can focus on figuring out what you just missed.



Good luck!
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This gets me all the time. Sometimes when someone is talking to me I might just miss one word out of the sentence, but it will be an important word that makes the sentence make sense. So I'll be sitting there trying to figure out what that word could be so I can make sense of what was said....meanwhile though the person is still talking and now I'm not listening because I'm still trying to figure out what they said 3 or 4 sentences ago.

Groups are so hard. :( I pretty much need sound and lipreading to understand anything. I had a coworker that when there was a bunch of us in the break room he would always look at me when he was talking, even though he was talking to everybody. He'd do that so I would know what he was saying. He left the spa a few months ago, I miss him terribly. It'd be nice if everyone was so thoughtful.
 
Sucks sometimes.

I've had potential boyfriends or boyfriends (that I said yes to) dump me over it. I've had really REALLY awkward moments like you wouldn't believe...and I feel really humiliated and out of place and just completely wrong when I try to communicate. Once, I was at school with no hearing aids because I had a double ear infection and I tried to say something and the whole class busted out laughing because my speech was so bad. The teacher tried to make them shut up but I just looked at her, she nodded, I walked outside, grabbed my stuff and went to the bathroom.

When I returned, no one dared look at me, no one was laughing and the teacher was fuming mad. So, I guess you could say I have my issues with the hearing world. I love both but sometimes....gah.
 
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