Think daughter is audist...

naisho said:
I feel that a lot of us forget that when we're teenagers, we demand unnecessary things, rebel or have twisted thinking that usually is shaped from our friends or social groups or media.
I remember a lot of the teenagers here on AD, even the deaf and non-deaf do not get along well with them. Remember Joey? Baseballboy? They get people angry from time to time just from general teenage behaviors.

So, just hang in there is my thought. You will win in the end. Parents always win, it's just when is the question. :h5:
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:ty: Excellent point! :hug: Made me feel a lot better.
 
I'm sure things will get better between you and ur daughter in given time....It was the same way with me & my family years ago...and also with my 3 boys many times....

As I've aged, I realize that I have and will have to become dependent upon ASL more than ever....even now, as I'm recuperating from surgery, and my vision is still off somewhat and I have to take it easy...my boys sign to me in ASL and close up, to make sure I understand them.....Their level of patience wears thin sometimes....but it's a good lesson for them, all the way around.

Patience is the Key, the earlier that it's learned, the better off everyone will be. Having a heart-to-heart talk with ur daughter about all of this surely can't hurt either one of you....Being and becoming prepared for the unevitable is a good thing for everyone.
 
sallylou said:
I'm so sorry. Unfortunately, showing my family my audiogram was the only way that I could make them understand that I cannot hear their voices. A picture of the hearing loss in the speech zone is clear and obvious. I think that it's ignorance on their part. They had this idea that if they just turned up the volume that I would hear them.

Don't get a new audiogram. Print out a copy of the hearing loss audiogram that shows the speech zone. Estimate your hearing loss on the graph. Show that to your family. Then, maybe they will get it. Hearing people have no idea what it's like having hearing loss. When you tell them, you might as well be speaking Greek to them. It's part of educating people. I know that there are emotional issues here. Try to put that aside and make her understand. Once she understands, her attitiude will change.
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That's not necessarily true, Sally. I've been in circumstances where I had to put in ear plugs in order to not overhear things being said (when I was younger at least). Permenantly, no; temporarily, yes. Which is where the "necessarily" comes into play. :cool2:
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As far as the situation with your daughter goes, I'm sorry that I can't be much help. The only thing I can suggest is to just stay strong and hope she soon understands what's going on with your hearing loss and chooses to learn ASL for you, so that you both may still communicate.
 
freshfighter4 said:
That's not necessarily true, Sally. I've been in circumstances where I had to put in ear plugs in order to not overhear things being said (when I was younger at least). Permenantly, no; temporarily, yes. Which is where the "necessarily" comes into play. :cool2:
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What's not true? There is a speech zone that makes a difference. Everything SallyLou said was right. If you're hearing, you might not have a clue.
 
Keep in mind you are about to enter a new phase of your life where it's just you, no kids.

Even if they have no interest in ASL, you won't be constantly with them as they establish new lives of their own.

Now is the time to get out and find the deaf community where you are and assimilate.
 
rebecca, I can totally relate because I'm in a similar situation and my eldest graduates this year. I've read that the relationship between a mother and her young adult child can be rocky as both parties adjust. My son and I are right on target. We're trying to figure out how to keep the connection yet move on to a more adult-adult relationship.

Part of the problem is that both of us need to met our own individual needs now without each other. You know, the big seperation as individuals. My son is anxious about leaving the nest and I (momma bird) don't really want him to leave or no longer need me.

I don't have the secret to learning to accomondate each other as two adults. Experts say that it's a method of trial and error in which you negotiate what works for both of you. Part of that process is learning to accept the other person's values and choices.

The good news is that when your daughter's brain finished fully developing (23-25 is it?). you will have a real adult on your hands who will be less impulsive and more reliable. I think that it's harder with moms and daughters from what I've seen, although a therapist once told me that problems in a marriage are typically caused by the mother of the son.

I second Bott's recommendation. If I haven't already done this, I wouldn't be taking this process very well.
 
Bottesini said:
Keep in mind you are about to enter a new phase of your life where it's just you, no kids.

Even if they have no interest in ASL, you won't be constantly with them as they establish new lives of their own.

Now is the time to get out and find the deaf community where you are and assimilate.
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That's good point. I haven't thought about 'empty nest' coming soon.

I guess I think about future to when they are come home for visits and holidays. How do we communicate, easily, then?

But, you're right. Assimilating is necessary now. For me.:ty:
 
sallylou said:
rebecca, I can totally relate because I'm in a similar situation and my eldest graduates this year. I've read that the relationship between a mother and her young adult child can be rocky as both parties adjust. My son and I are right on target. We're trying to figure out how to keep the connection yet move on to a more adult-adult relationship.

Part of the problem is that both of us need to met our own individual needs now without each other. You know, the big seperation as individuals. My son is anxious about leaving the nest and I (momma bird) don't really want him to leave or no longer need me.

I don't have the secret to learning to accomondate each other as two adults. Experts say that it's a method of trial and error in which you negotiate what works for both of you. Part of that process is learning to accept the other person's values and choices.

The good news is that when your daughter's brain finished fully developing (23-25 is it?). you will have a real adult on your hands who will be less impulsive and more reliable. I think that it's harder with moms and daughters from what I've seen, although a therapist once told me that problems in a marriage are typically caused by the mother of the son.

I second Bott's recommendation. If I haven't already done this, I wouldn't be taking this process very well.
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Definitely adjustment for she and I. I remember her sobbing on her bed about how much she will miss me and her brother (they are *very* close ThisisJayee: My Brother Connor J), just before she move away, and broke my heart. But, she is close enough to be able to take ferry back to Mainland and come see her Mumma when she miss me, which is *SO* nice.

Funny story. She text me, "Mum, can I get a fish for my room so I'm not so lonely?" I text her back, "Uhm, Holly, you are in university now so do not think need permission from Mumma to have fish. As long as you do not start talk to it go ahead." :giggle: Found funny that she feel need to ask permission for a 'pet' even though in university. :giggle:
 
She intends for you to take care of the "pet" when she comes home for the summer. ;-)
 
Bottesini said:
:lol: But how hard is a fish to care for?
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Demanding little critters, they are! See how they always open their mouths.. it's like they are saying, "Food! Food! More food!" And you feed them, and it seems like next month they want more! How many times a year are you supposed to feed them anyway?! ;) :giggle:
 
DeafBadger said:
Demanding little critters, they are! See how they always open their mouths.. it's like they are saying, "Food! Food! More food!" And you feed them, and it seems like next month they want more! How many times a year are you supposed to feed them anyway?! ;) :giggle:
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:lol: How many times a year?? Before they start to swim upside down!
 
Fish are a pain in the butt to care for. You're supposed to change their water every so often, and be careful to keep it the proper temperature, proper mix of chemicals (fluoride is bad, if I'm remembering right - so tap water has to be treated), don't feed too much or too little... Gaaahhh.

My family tried for a while to have goldfish when we were kids, but they never lived very long. They are trickier than you would think to care for properly.
 
I am sorry about this.

I am having problems with my 14 year old daughter being all about herself first instead of considering my feelings about being 2,000 miles away from her.

This thread helped me to remind myself that teenagers are brats. lol

:hug:
 
Beach girl said:
Fish are a pain in the butt to care for. You're supposed to change their water every so often, and be careful to keep it the proper temperature, proper mix of chemicals (fluoride is bad, if I'm remembering right - so tap water has to be treated), don't feed too much or too little... Gaaahhh.

My family tried for a while to have goldfish when we were kids, but they never lived very long. They are trickier than you would think to care for properly.
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I've had fishes living 15++ years. Not that hard once you know what you're doing.
 
There must be more to this story because it does not make sense. Your daughter knows enough to turn the light on and off because you can't hear, but she thinks you hear enough that she does not need to learn ASL?

And, you don't want to get the hearing test because you know it will be worst than before? :hmm:

I know the hearing test will be hard for you, but if you plan on using sign anyway what is the difference?

I agree with the other posters, take the test and call her bluff.

In the mean time, setup classes with your other two children for night school and go with them to the class. Don't just tell them to take classes because that is not going to work, IMO. Go to the class and do signs with them.
 
I've had fishes living 15++ years. Not that hard once you know what you're doing.
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Probably not, but we were kids, my mom was pretty busy raising four children and going to school to get her B.A. so she could teach and support us all, as my father had died. Learning to properly take care of fish was pretty low on her agenda.

Probably someone said "Get your kids a goldfish; they're easy!" and so she did, and then the poor fishies never lived very long.

We got dogs after that instead. MUCH easier. :lol:
 
VacationGuy234 said:
There must be more to this story because it does not make sense. Your daughter knows enough to turn the light on and off because you can't hear, but she thinks you hear enough that she does not need to learn ASL?

And, you don't want to get the hearing test because you know it will be worst than before? :hmm:

I know the hearing test will be hard for you, but if you plan on using sign anyway what is the difference?

I agree with the other posters, take the test and call her bluff.

In the mean time, setup classes with your other two children for night school and go with them to the class. Don't just tell them to take classes because that is not going to work, IMO. Go to the class and do signs with them.
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Nice way to invalidate the OP's feelings.:roll:
 
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