abortion addict - Page 6

Jiro · 10-27-2009, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sallylou

She may have felt that she would be betraying her mother by having children. A survivor's guilt kind of thing. Maybe she didn't believe that she deserved to have children. Whatever it was, I hope that she's doing better.

or her life was full of men "abandoning" her such as her father, boyfriend, etc. Sounds like she's a clingy type. I only hope that she would seek help and come out as a strong independent survivor who can stand on her own feet.

Jiro · 10-27-2009, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kokonut

I wasn't the one who coined the words "abortion" and "addict" in the same sentence.

no but you are the one who is spinning this into abortion debate while ignoring everything else.

it's old.... getting way too old. go ahead and re-fire it all but you will never win. Abortion will remain legal for a very long time. long enough to your grandchil's generation and beyond.

it is sad that you are ignoring her cry for help. it is disgusting that you wanted to use her as a shaming example for legality of abortion.

sallylou · 10-27-2009, 04:33 PM

That's very perceptive, Jiro. She probably does have abandonment issues. Many people do, and so do I. Those issues can be addressed with a good therapist. I hope that opening up and telling her story helps her heal. Now she can get support from others.

melissa · 10-27-2009, 04:45 PM

Thanks, Jillio! I've always been interested in psychology so when I 'became' depressed at 18/19 I read as much as I could to educate myself. I'm 24 now so it's been 6 or so years of reading.

I've had a number of people offer me their 'advice' about eating disorders by saying things like 'Anorexics think they're fat when they're not- you're not thin enough to be anorexic' and 'The Romans used to throw up too'- needless to say that particular ex-boyfriend is long gone. One of my best friends is a recovered/ing alcoholic with a psychology degree, so we often talk about psychological issues. The main thing/s I've learnt is that anyone can have mental illness, it can manifest itself in a million kinds of physical behaviours, and the behaviour itself (although often harmful) is not the actual problem.

I too hope she is seeing/has seen a therapist- a good therapist can make a world of difference to someones' life.

jillio · 10-27-2009, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kokonut

I wasn't the one who coined the words "abortion" and "addict" in the same sentence.

"It wasn't me, Mom! He hit first. I just kept hitting him because he hit me first! So what if I hit him twenty times."

jillio · 10-27-2009, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by melissa

Thanks, Jillio! I've always been interested in psychology so when I 'became' depressed at 18/19 I read as much as I could to educate myself. I'm 24 now so it's been 6 or so years of reading.

I've had a number of people offer me their 'advice' about eating disorders by saying things like 'Anorexics think they're fat when they're not- you're not thin enough to be anorexic' and 'The Romans used to throw up too'- needless to say that particular ex-boyfriend is long gone. One of my best friends is a recovered/ing alcoholic with a psychology degree, so we often talk about psychological issues. The main thing/s I've learnt is that anyone can have mental illness, it can manifest itself in a million kinds of physical behaviours, and the behaviour itself (although often harmful) is not the actual problem.

I too hope she is seeing/has seen a therapist- a good therapist can make a world of difference to someones' life.

If all of my clients were willing to take responsibility for partnership in their own treatment plans, my job would be an easy one indeed. You are a rare gem.

jillio · 10-27-2009, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jiro

or her life was full of men "abandoning" her such as her father, boyfriend, etc. Sounds like she's a clingy type. I only hope that she would seek help and come out as a strong independent survivor who can stand on her own feet.

I'm sure that abandonment issues are tied to her problems. It is not unusual at all in several types of disorders.

KarissaMann05 · 10-27-2009, 05:00 PM

Just wait... we just don't know if the woman is telling the truth. I don't want to fall for it if she is actually doing on purpose for attention and, probably, lying. I don't want to waste my time if it turns out that is not what you think, you know?

Truth or not, we all can agree that she does need a help and support for her mental issue.

"Closed case" option is suppose be an answer to this thread...

melissa · 10-27-2009, 05:01 PM

Re: Jillio-

Well, I had a good few years of doing nothing and complaining it wasn't working ;-) and I have negative thinking that can be extremely stubborn. So don't be fooled- as a person and a patient I could quite well irritate you immensely!

For the most part I just enjoyed psychology as a topic, but when you can relate it to yourself it's infinitely more interesting. I would like to do Psychology A-Level at some point. I can't remember where you are but an A-Level is a 2 year post-secondary, pre-degree qualification, usually taken by ages 16-18.

My mum and I both had negative experiences with our doctors and realised it's more fulfilling to find out for yourself what could help you, and ask for it. I used to see a counsellor at uni, sit there, talk, and leave- that was it. Now I see a (CBT) therapist, fill in activity sheets and monitor my mood, and attend a course which deals with self-esteem and getting back into work. Only a few months ago I was sat at home, no therapist, bemoaning my unemployed status and not doing anything about it.

I guess the thing for me was accepting that I don't like the feelings/behaviours I'm having, and seeing what help I could get so I can live the way I want to- which applies to the 'Abortion Addict' too- breaking the cycle is so important.

jillio · 10-27-2009, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by melissa

Re: Jillio-

Well, I had a good few years of doing nothing and complaining it wasn't working ;-) and I have negative thinking that can be extremely stubborn. So don't be fooled- as a person and a patient I could quite well irritate you immensely!

For the most part I just enjoyed psychology as a topic, but when you can relate it to yourself it's infinitely more interesting. I would like to do Psychology A-Level at some point. I can't remember where you are but an A-Level is a 2 year post-secondary, pre-degree qualification, usually taken by ages 16-18.

My mum and I both had negative experiences with our doctors and realised it's more fulfilling to find out for yourself what could help you, and ask for it. I used to see a counsellor at uni, sit there, talk, and leave- that was it. Now I see a (CBT) therapist, fill in activity sheets and monitor my mood, and attend a course which deals with self-esteem and getting back into work. Only a few months ago I was sat at home, no therapist, bemoaning my unemployed status and not doing anything about it.

I guess the thing for me was accepting that I don't like the feelings/behaviours I'm having, and seeing what help I could get so I can live the way I want to- which applies to the 'Abortion Addict' too- breaking the cycle is so important.

I am post-doctorate in counseling psychology. I would certainly encourage you to reach for your goals. With the amount of insight you have shown, and your ability to see beneath the surface, I would say the profession would be welcoming to you.

And I agree: breaking the cycle is the key, and it does apply to this thread in a very real way.

sallylou · 10-27-2009, 05:08 PM

Melissa is wise beyond her years. I have confidence in her.

jillio · 10-27-2009, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sallylou

Melissa is wise beyond her years. I have confidence in her.

You and I both!

melissa · 10-27-2009, 05:12 PM

Aww! Thankyou *blushes profusely*

I can write well, but I get lost easily (I often feel that I have no common sense!) and have enough mental issues to fill a large hat...in other words, I'm human.

I like this website- I can discuss pretty much anything- it's not just related to D/deaf issues.

jillio · 10-27-2009, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by melissa

Aww! Thankyou *blushes profusely*

I can write well, but I get lost easily (I often feel that I have no common sense!) and have enough mental issues to fill a large hat...in other words, I'm human.
I like this website- I can discuss pretty much anything- it's not just related to D/deaf issues.

Sounds like your stereotypical psychologist to me!

souggy · 10-27-2009, 05:17 PM

"mental issues"

Just means you're not the average 90 iQ, organized-obsessive, head-banging music-loving, sport-loving, beer-chugging, sex-driven "USA! USA! USA!" folks.

If you don't fit into that mould, apparently you have "severe mental problems."

sallylou · 10-27-2009, 05:19 PM

Melissa, nod and accept the compliment. I was sincere. You have it together a lot more than I did at your age. We all have issues. That's what make us human and connects us.

sallylou · 10-27-2009, 05:20 PM

I fit the obsessive part. Not the rest.

jillio · 10-27-2009, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sallylou

I fit the obsessive part. Not the rest.

People with above average intelligence often exhibit obsessive tendencies. It is what makes them detail oriented. Just because someone has a tendency doesn't mean that they have a disorder. I'd say you are good to go, sallylou!

kokonut · 10-27-2009, 05:24 PM

I love the USA. Nothing wrong with that. I don't even fit with the rest of the description. Yet, I like to keep things simple in life.

souggy · 10-27-2009, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sallylou

I fit the obsessive part. Not the rest.

I have obsessive-tendency as well, but I am not oen of those "YOUR BOOKSHELVES ARE NOT ALPHABETIZED" folks which seems to be everywhere.

Okay, that's a bit excessive. But more than once "normies" criticize me for having papers all over the floor and such.

jillio · 10-27-2009, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by souggy

I have obsessive-tendency as well, but I am not oen of those "YOUR BOOKSHELVES ARE NOT ALPHABETIZED" folks which seems to be everywhere.

That would be more in line with compulsive tendencies. Combine obsessive and compulsive, and you've got yourself a problem!

melissa · 10-27-2009, 05:31 PM

Thankyou Sallylou and Jillio :-)

Well, souggy, I don't know my IQ, I don't drink alcohol (anymore), I'm incredibly messy, the only sports I like are gymnastics and F1, I'm British and I like sex as much as the next hoh person, according to another thread!

I find it interesting how, for me and my aforementioned recovered alcoholic friend, our own experiences have led to an interest in pursuing psychology for ourselves. She's currently studying person-centred counselling part time while she works. A year and half ago I had to scrape her off the pavement after finding her drunk in the town centre one afternoon, and take her home. It's amazing- and not in a positive way- how much life mental illness can sap from a person.

I am so proud of her though, she's turned herself around and she's happy, I'm slowly doing the same, and it looks like Irene Vilar has done the same. Incidentally, I always wanted to be an author when I was little; I'm looking for an IT job at the moment but I still have a little dream...

souggy · 10-27-2009, 05:37 PM

I was just describing your average "mainstream" nightclub regulars.

Substitute USA! chant for CANADA! IRELAND! UK! SCOTLAND! and so on. :p

melissa · 10-27-2009, 05:57 PM

Ah yes, we call them 'Chavs', if they wear tracksuits and drink lager. Scotland is part of the UK :p if they don't wear tracksuits, but just get very drunk and sing football songs loudly at 3a.m, whilst littering kebab wrappers everywhere, I'm not really sure what we call them.

I think I'm the only person I know who likes kebabs when sober.
/offtopic rambling.

CJB · 10-27-2009, 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sallylou

I don't like how this thread is turning into bash the mentally ill. Besides lacking compassion, it's ignorance.

CJB · 10-27-2009, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillio

People with above average intelligence often exhibit obsessive tendencies. It is what makes them detail oriented. Just because someone has a tendency doesn't mean that they have a disorder. I'd say you are good to go, sallylou!

I don't know about the above-intelligence bit but I do exhibit obsessive tendencies.

shel90 · 10-27-2009, 06:23 PM

I have the same too..iam very obsessive with cleaning. LOL.

sallylou · 10-27-2009, 06:25 PM

Quote:

I like sex as much as the next hoh person, according to another thread!

That's a great thread. Check it out if you need a laugh.

Thanks for the vote of confidence, Jillio.

Jiro · 10-27-2009, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kokonut

I love the USA. Nothing wrong with that. I don't even fit with the rest of the description. Yet, I like to keep things simple in life.

deafskeptic · 10-27-2009, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

I have the same too..iam very obsessive with cleaning. LOL.

I don't think we'll get along as roomates cuz I've hoarding tendencies.

10-27-2009, 04:33 PM	#153 (permalink)
sallylou Registered User Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: My own private Idaho Posts: 2,096	That's very perceptive, Jiro. She probably does have abandonment issues. Many people do, and so do I. Those issues can be addressed with a good therapist. I hope that opening up and telling her story helps her heal. Now she can get support from others. __________________ Happy holidays!

10-27-2009, 05:08 PM	#161 (permalink)
sallylou Registered User Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: My own private Idaho Posts: 2,096	Melissa is wise beyond her years. I have confidence in her. __________________ Happy holidays!

10-27-2009, 05:17 PM	#165 (permalink)
souggy Ace Attorney Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Victoria, BC Posts: 2,379	"mental issues" Just means you're not the average 90 iQ, organized-obsessive, head-banging music-loving, sport-loving, beer-chugging, sex-driven "USA! USA! USA!" folks. If you don't fit into that mould, apparently you have "severe mental problems." __________________ Souggy's Blog Warning! Contains skewed comments & inane ramblings. May cause spontaneous human combustion

10-27-2009, 05:19 PM	#166 (permalink)
sallylou Registered User Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: My own private Idaho Posts: 2,096	Melissa, nod and accept the compliment. I was sincere. You have it together a lot more than I did at your age. We all have issues. That's what make us human and connects us. __________________ Happy holidays!

10-27-2009, 05:20 PM	#167 (permalink)
sallylou Registered User Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: My own private Idaho Posts: 2,096	I fit the obsessive part. Not the rest. __________________ Happy holidays!

Today
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10-27-2009, 04:45 PM	#154 (permalink)
melissa Registered User Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Cheshire, UK. Posts: 188	Thanks, Jillio! I've always been interested in psychology so when I 'became' depressed at 18/19 I read as much as I could to educate myself. I'm 24 now so it's been 6 or so years of reading. I've had a number of people offer me their 'advice' about eating disorders by saying things like 'Anorexics think they're fat when they're not- you're not thin enough to be anorexic' and 'The Romans used to throw up too'- needless to say that particular ex-boyfriend is long gone. One of my best friends is a recovered/ing alcoholic with a psychology degree, so we often talk about psychological issues. The main thing/s I've learnt is that anyone can have mental illness, it can manifest itself in a million kinds of physical behaviours, and the behaviour itself (although often harmful) is not the actual problem. I too hope she is seeing/has seen a therapist- a good therapist can make a world of difference to someones' life.

10-27-2009, 05:00 PM	#158 (permalink)
KarissaMann05 The Deaf Cougar Join Date: May 2007 Location: Salem, Oregon Posts: 4,463 Blog Entries: 13	Just wait... we just don't know if the woman is telling the truth. I don't want to fall for it if she is actually doing on purpose for attention and, probably, lying. I don't want to waste my time if it turns out that is not what you think, you know? Truth or not, we all can agree that she does need a help and support for her mental issue. "Closed case" option is suppose be an answer to this thread...

10-27-2009, 05:01 PM	#159 (permalink)
melissa Registered User Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Cheshire, UK. Posts: 188	Re: Jillio- Well, I had a good few years of doing nothing and complaining it wasn't working ;-) and I have negative thinking that can be extremely stubborn. So don't be fooled- as a person and a patient I could quite well irritate you immensely! For the most part I just enjoyed psychology as a topic, but when you can relate it to yourself it's infinitely more interesting. I would like to do Psychology A-Level at some point. I can't remember where you are but an A-Level is a 2 year post-secondary, pre-degree qualification, usually taken by ages 16-18. My mum and I both had negative experiences with our doctors and realised it's more fulfilling to find out for yourself what could help you, and ask for it. I used to see a counsellor at uni, sit there, talk, and leave- that was it. Now I see a (CBT) therapist, fill in activity sheets and monitor my mood, and attend a course which deals with self-esteem and getting back into work. Only a few months ago I was sat at home, no therapist, bemoaning my unemployed status and not doing anything about it. I guess the thing for me was accepting that I don't like the feelings/behaviours I'm having, and seeing what help I could get so I can live the way I want to- which applies to the 'Abortion Addict' too- breaking the cycle is so important.

10-27-2009, 05:12 PM	#163 (permalink)
melissa Registered User Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Cheshire, UK. Posts: 188	Aww! Thankyou blushes profusely I can write well, but I get lost easily (I often feel that I have no common sense!) and have enough mental issues to fill a large hat...in other words, I'm human. I like this website- I can discuss pretty much anything- it's not just related to D/deaf issues.

10-27-2009, 05:24 PM	#169 (permalink)
kokonut Registered User Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 3,714	I love the USA. Nothing wrong with that. I don't even fit with the rest of the description. Yet, I like to keep things simple in life.

10-27-2009, 05:31 PM	#172 (permalink)
melissa Registered User Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Cheshire, UK. Posts: 188	Thankyou Sallylou and Jillio :-) Well, souggy, I don't know my IQ, I don't drink alcohol (anymore), I'm incredibly messy, the only sports I like are gymnastics and F1, I'm British and I like sex as much as the next hoh person, according to another thread! I find it interesting how, for me and my aforementioned recovered alcoholic friend, our own experiences have led to an interest in pursuing psychology for ourselves. She's currently studying person-centred counselling part time while she works. A year and half ago I had to scrape her off the pavement after finding her drunk in the town centre one afternoon, and take her home. It's amazing- and not in a positive way- how much life mental illness can sap from a person. I am so proud of her though, she's turned herself around and she's happy, I'm slowly doing the same, and it looks like Irene Vilar has done the same. Incidentally, I always wanted to be an author when I was little; I'm looking for an IT job at the moment but I still have a little dream...

10-27-2009, 05:37 PM	#173 (permalink)
souggy Ace Attorney Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Victoria, BC Posts: 2,379	I was just describing your average "mainstream" nightclub regulars. Substitute USA! chant for CANADA! IRELAND! UK! SCOTLAND! and so on. :p __________________ Souggy's Blog Warning! Contains skewed comments & inane ramblings. May cause spontaneous human combustion

10-27-2009, 05:57 PM	#174 (permalink)
melissa Registered User Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Cheshire, UK. Posts: 188	Ah yes, we call them 'Chavs', if they wear tracksuits and drink lager. Scotland is part of the UK :p if they don't wear tracksuits, but just get very drunk and sing football songs loudly at 3a.m, whilst littering kebab wrappers everywhere, I'm not really sure what we call them. I think I'm the only person I know who likes kebabs when sober. /offtopic rambling.

10-27-2009, 06:23 PM	#177 (permalink)
shel90 In a pink and black world Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: In the land of the free Posts: 24,046 Blog Entries: 3	I have the same too..iam very obsessive with cleaning. LOL. __________________ Shel~ "A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

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