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Old 09-18-2008, 11:02 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Politic Jokes

I heard some politic jokes and now I dont remember. It was new to me. I am sure you guys got one.
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:09 PM   #2 (permalink)
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This thread needs to be moved to the Jokes section.
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This is not a ASL version
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:11 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacob View Post
This thread needs to be moved to the Jokes section.
Yeah probably so. I dont know where to put it.
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:11 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Barack Obama now says he could go along with off-shore drilling. So, I guess the change he was talking about was his mind.---Jay Leno
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:13 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Biggest joke of all: McCain/Palin ticket.
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:13 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Biggest joke of all: McCain/Palin ticket.
Come on tell me.
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:15 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Come on tell me.
I just did.
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:17 PM   #8 (permalink)
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It doesn't make sense.
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:22 PM   #9 (permalink)
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It doesn't make sense.
Uh, yes it does.
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:25 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Barack Obama says he will bitch-slap McCain/Palin in upcoming public debate
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:33 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Barack Obama says he will bitch-slap McCain/Palin in upcoming public debate
LMAO
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:37 PM   #12 (permalink)
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i am sure there are many jokes about those.. in somewhere websites..

(crzymeg ps check your email! i dont know if you done checked..)
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:38 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Come on tell me.
That IS the joke! Mind if I ask you how old you are?
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:39 PM   #14 (permalink)
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i am sure there are many jokes about those.. in somewhere websites..

(crzymeg ps check your email! i dont know if you done checked..)
Thank you I will check.
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:40 PM   #15 (permalink)
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ok! welcome! crzymeg

sorry everyone i put it here for offtopic! opps
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:41 PM   #16 (permalink)
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ok! welcome! crzymeg

sorry everyone i put it here for offtopic! opps
It is alright, Glad you got my attention. It is only way.
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:42 PM   #17 (permalink)
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That IS the joke! Mind if I ask you how old you are?
Thanks Tousi. I just didn't have the energy to try and explain it.
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:42 PM   #18 (permalink)
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LOL! cool!
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:43 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
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That IS the joke! Mind if I ask you how old you are?
I am 18 yrs old. I am behind on politics but since my college professor mention politics jokes and I thought, hmmm i just make thread about that.
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:46 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I am 18 yrs old. I am behind on politics but since my college professor mention politics jokes and I thought, hmmm i just make thread about that.
Aha! 18...no offense but I think you should sit in the bleachers and come back next election.
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:47 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Aha! 18...no offense but I think you should sit in the bleachers and come back next election.
No, I gonna vote. Sorry.
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:48 PM   #22 (permalink)
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No, I gonna vote. Sorry.
Yeah, me too. Sorry, I mean.
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:50 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Yeah, me too. Sorry, I mean.
Ok I understand.
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:59 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Late-Night Jokes about the 2008 Presidential Candidates

"Barack Obama sent out a cell phone text message at 3 a.m. on Saturday morning to tell everybody he picked Joe Biden as his vice president. How do you think this makes Hillary Clinton feel? Finally gets a phone call at 3 a.m., and it's to tell her they picked Joe Biden." --Jay Leno

"People are now talking about the ticket, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. Would that be a good ticket? And I think this would be the first, if you think about it, first combination of an African American man and a white woman since, well, Michael Jackson." --David Letterman

"Now that Barack Obama is the Democratic nominee, Americans are going to have to choose between the 46-year-old Obama and the 71-year-old John McCain. That's the choice. In other words, it's a choice between the Hillary-defeater or the Wal-Mart greeter." --Conan O'Brien

"Of course, everyone is wondering now if Obama will ask Hillary to be his running mate. Obama actually tried to call her last night, and got her voicemail twice. I guess she only takes calls at 3:00 a.m. It was also probably hard to hear the phone over the sound of over her husband weeping." --Jimmy Kimmel

"According to a new poll, Barack Obama has a 24-point lead over Hillary Clinton in North Carolina. Obama is doing particularly well with one important demographic: voters." --Amy Poehler

Hillary Clinton attacked Barack Obama, called him 'elitist,' and said he was out of touch with poor people. Later, Bill Clinton gave a speech on the subject, and charged a million bucks for it." --Jay Leno

"All three presidential candidates appeared on 'American Idol.' It was interesting. Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell looked at them and said, 'Wait, there's a black guy, a woman and a cranky white guy. You stole our formula!'" --Conan O'Brien

"After Governor Bill Richardson switched his support from Hillary Clinton to Barack Obama last week, an angry Bill Clinton said, 'Five times to my face he said he would never do that.' Wow, so he looked you right in the face and lied to you. What's that like?" --Seth Meyers

"McCain came out this week with a list of 20 possible running mates. He would not reveal the names of all of them, but he said they all share certain traits, like knowing CPR. He said he wants someone who is ready take over on day two." --Bill Maher

"Big shake-up in the Hillary Clinton campaign. This is huge. Yesterday -- true story -- Hillary Clinton's top adviser abruptly left her campaign. When he heard about it, Bill Clinton said, 'Wait, we can leave?'" --Conan O'Brien

"John McCain is now crisscrossing the United States campaigning. Or, as they're calling it, Antiques Roadshow." --Jay Leno

"Hillary Clinton was in Philadelphia, where she told the crowd she is like the movie character Rocky. Now, if I remember the movie correctly, doesn't Rocky get the crap beat out of him and then he loses to the black guy?" --Jay Leno

"Are you familiar with the Hillary Clinton 3 a.m. phone call commercial that she's been running? … Well, she's got another one of those, and the phone rings at 3 a.m., Hillary answers the phone, she picks it up, and she says "Stop bothering me, President Obama!" –David Letterman

"And John McCain has one of those 3 a.m. campaign commercials. In this one it's 3 a.m. and he just gets up to go to the bathroom." –David Letterman

"We're leaning more and more about John and Cindy McCain. He's on this big biography tour. I guess his wife Cindy is worth over $100 million because the family made money selling Budweiser beer. So he has a wife 20 years younger than him, free beer, and unlimited money. I think I speak for all guys when I go, 'Why is he running for president?'" --Jay Leno

"This weekend, Bill Clinton said Hillary should not drop out of the presidential race. Yeah, when asked why, Bill said, 'Because then she'd come home.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Hillary now says that she just made an honest mistake when she said she had to duck sniper fire in Bosnia. There was no hostile fire of any kind. Although, ironically, while she was away, Bill Clinton did see some action." --Jay Leno

"Barack Obama called Hillary today to thank her for distracting everyone away from the whole crazy pastor thing. Obama's campaign is all about hope -- hope Hillary keeps saying stupid crap and getting herself in trouble." --Craig Ferguson

Two State Department employees were fired -- this is a bit of a scandal -- because they were looking at Barack Obama's passport file. Not only that, but the same person was also looking at John McCain's Civil War records." --David Letterman

"I like John McCain. He looks like the guy who gets frisky with the new waitress at IHOP. ... He looks like the guy who watches his Cadillac go through the car wash. ... He looks like the guy in the supermarket yelling into his cell phone, 'I'm in aisle three, Marge. I can't find the brownie mix.'" --David Letterman (Read more of Letterman's jabs at Old Man McCain)

"Barack Obama gave a big speech on race, and there was one heckler in the audience, kept screaming crazy stuff the whole time. Turns out it was his pastor." --Jay Leno

"This campaign is kind of fascinating, because the three major candidates have to be very careful when they criticize each other. Like, you can't criticize Hillary. Ooh, that's sexism. You can't criticize Barack. Ooh, that's racism. And you can't go after McCain, because that's elder abuse." --Jay Leno

~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman

I look it up online. Find it funny.
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Old 09-19-2008, 06:58 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Typical fucken american politics, and i hate to say in the west, everybody's copying the american style , and frankly I havent a faintest idea why, it's just a big sideshow distracting from the real issues government should be dealing with, and relating with the public on what to do. Squabbling about scandels and all seems to tell me, that anyone can get on the game if they have savvy, but the competition is so cut-throat like almost as if they'd get away with murder.
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