The Deadly Sins of Middle Seatmates

***VamPyroX*** · 08-21-2008, 08:40 AM

When you're traveling by plane, have you ever ended up with a person known as the middle seatmate? It's those people who sit in the middle and whatever he does causes problems for the people sitting on his/her left and right.

Well, here's a list of various types of people... err... middle seatmates... that people have to put up with.

ABC News: The Deadly Sins of Middle Seatmates

Ever deal with any of them during your flights?

Quote:

1. Proud Papa. This is the man (or woman) who holds junior on his lap -- well, during takeoff and landing, anyway. Otherwise, he is content to let his brat "wander," which means the tot uses your knees as a delightful new gym toy, or constantly tries to get your attention with little jabs or gentle kicks. Junior is invariably in diapers. Sometimes they aren't changed quickly enough. Unfortunately sometimes they are changed -- right next to you. Bonus Points: Proud Papa deposits used diaper in your seat pocket.

2. Life of the Party. It doesn't matter if your flight takes off at 6 a.m., this middle seater is on vacation, and it starts right now. He's slamming down Jack Daniels faster that you can down your $2 Coke. He slurs, he spills, he's outta control. And he's just getting started. Bonus Points: Life of the Party starts getting a little green, he's starting not to feel so well, he's … oops!

3. Jack in the Box. This middle seater has a lot of important things to do during the plane ride, including making out a grocery list, playing Solitaire on his laptop, updating his Christmas card list and everything he needs to work with is -- you guessed it -- in the overhead bin. So, he gets up -- to grab that pencil. Wait, he forgot his pad of paper -- up again. Wait, he needs the laptop -- up again. Wait -- well, you get the picture. Bonus Points: Every time Jack opens the bin, something falls on your head.

4. Fool for Fifi. If you're lucky, you'll never know your seatmate is traveling with a dog in a carrier. But of course, you won't be lucky. Fifi will bark, howl and make interesting gastrointestinal noises for the entire length of the flight. Then Fool will take Fifi out of her carrier, so you two can "make friends." Bonus Points: You will be assaulted by unassailable olfactory evidence that Fifi hasn't been let out for a walk in a long, long time.

5. The Bean Burrito. Your frugal seatmate brings his meal on board, and it is invariably a very large bean burrito. Within minutes of consumption, fumes begin escaping -- and your seat becomes a kind of death trap. Bonus Points: Burrito's beans are heavily laced with garlic and onions.

6. Barefoot Boy. This is the passenger that dislikes wearing socks with his shoes. He also dislikes wearing shoes and will slip them off just as soon as he's seated. You will then discover that he doesn't like bathing all that much, either. Bonus Points: In lieu of regular hygiene, Barefoot douses himself head to toe in that after-shave you used to give your Dad for Christmas (the one that always wound up in the trash).

7. The Hacker. No, he has no interest in messing up your computer; he's too busy coughing and hacking and sneezing all over you. There is no escaping The Hacker. Bonus Points: Hacker also has a mysterious rash all over his body, but tells you, "I'm pretty sure it's not real contagious."

8. Typing/Texting Twit. You sit down, and boom! The elbows start flying, and you start hurting. Whether the moron next to you is typing or texting, it comes down to the same thing: bruises. The fun continues when you try to explain the discolorations to the spouse. Bonus Points: Twit finally puts away the phone and laptop -- only to pull out the PlayStation, to begin a zestful round of "NHL Hockey."

9. Snuggle Bunny. Snuggle's sin is fatigue. Fatigue and the inability to distinguish between your shoulder and a pillow. Snuggle will snore away the entire flight, in comfort -- on you. Bonus Points: Snuggle Bunny has a drooling problem.

10. Lavatory Lizard. Lizard is kin to Jack in the Box; he too hops up again and again, to head to the restroom. And without fail, Lizard urges you not to get up -- and then steps on your feet. Bonus Points: Whenever the flight attendant comes by, Lizard is the first to say, "Another water, please!"

11. Yellular. For some reason, this middle seater believes his cell phone is actually a megaphone; he may be sitting in row 29, but believe me, the pilot can hear him loud and clear. Yellular gets on the phone the minute he sits down and doesn't get off till wheels up -- regaling you, and everyone else with conversations like, "How is the cat doing? Still got them hairballs?" Bonus Points: You're stuck on the tarmac for three hours while Yellular is yakking away about his latest romantic adventures -- in excruciating detail.

Phillips · 08-21-2008, 08:42 AM

Lol!!

moonflower · 08-21-2008, 09:02 AM

lol lol

***~SG~*** · 08-21-2008, 09:10 AM

Quote:

5. The Bean Burrito. Your frugal seatmate brings his meal on board, and it is invariably a very large bean burrito. Within minutes of consumption, fumes begin escaping -- and your seat becomes a kind of death trap. Bonus Points: Burrito's beans are heavily laced with garlic and onions.

I did deal with this one, but lucky it wasn't next to me. It was few seats behind and ya could smell it in the air.

Any others on the list I haven't deal with them.

***VamPyroX*** · 08-21-2008, 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~SG~

I did deal with this one, but lucky it wasn't next to me. It was few seats behind and ya could smell it in the air.

Any others on the list I haven't deal with them.

Ugh... that's gotta suck!

The only one I've had to deal with... once... was the Barefoot Boy. I couldn't really smell his feet, but I could see the moisture on his feet like it was all sweaty and smelly. Ugh!

There's another one that should be on the list...

12. The Talkative Old Lady: The title says it all. Yep, it's the nice old lady who sits there and begins talking to you about everything from her life, her family, her children, and her grandchildren... even their great-grandchildren. She will usually talk 99% of the time for a long time, sometimes 30 minutes straight to 1 hour. Bonus Points: She talks when you're not even paying attention.

***~SG~*** · 08-21-2008, 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VamPyroX

Ugh... that's gotta suck!

The only one I've had to deal with... once... was the Barefoot Boy. I couldn't really smell his feet, but I could see the moisture on his feet like it was all sweaty and smelly. Ugh!

There's another one that should be on the list...

12. The Talkative Old Lady: The title says it all. Yep, it's the nice old lady who sits there and begins talking to you about everything from her life, her family, her children, and her grandchildren... even their great-grandchildren. She will usually talk 99% of the time for a long time, sometimes 30 minutes straight to 1 hour. Bonus Points: She talks when you're not even paying attention.

Yes, it was suck, especially the smell last longer for more than 10 minutes. Ugh! But lucky only deal with that one once.

Yikes about the barefoot one.

***Jolie77*** · 08-21-2008, 05:53 PM

I've had to deal with a Jack-in-the-box type. It was so annoying and I was this close to smack some sense into that guy. When I was flying to Dallas for my layover on the way to San Francisco, CA - I was sitting on the aisle seat and that guy had the window seat. First, he stood up to get his laptop then sat down, he forgot to get his book, then sat down and few minutes later, he stood up to get his pen out of the bag, then sat down and another few mins later, he stood up to get his newspaper. At that point, I was burning inside and wanting to yell at him to sit down. I didn't yell but he could tell that I was getting annoyed and he finally apologized for it in the end.

Also at another time, I was flying to CA via Atlanta, there was a old lady sitting next to me. She was eating 2 tuna sandwiches and (for those who doesn't know, I HATE tuna and can't stand the smell of it) the smell reeked so bad. My stomach was about to churn and I was trying to keep myself at bay with that smell. I could not wait for her to finish eating the sandwiches and when she was done with it, I thought I was home free from the smell but it turns out I was wrong. I still could smell it off from her.

Matilda · 08-21-2008, 06:33 PM

My daughter flies often and yes, she ended up sitting next to a male with bad body odor. Luckily, the flight was only an hour and not an international one.

She will also have a couple of grannies on separate occasions but they were the good ones in sharing the interesting gossip to pass the time away.

Bottesini · 08-21-2008, 07:08 PM

***VamPyroX*** · 08-21-2008, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matilda

My daughter flies often and yes, she ended up sitting next to a male with bad body odor. Luckily, the flight was only an hour and not an international one.

She will also have a couple of grannies on separate occasions but they were the good ones in sharing the interesting gossip to pass the time away.

One time, I was on the plane flying to New York. An old lady sat next to me. While we were flying, she started talking to me. She didn't even introduce herself or anything. She just said, "Hi" and then started talking about something that I didn't understand. I just nodded and looked away. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later. When I looked at her, she was still talking to me. WTF!?

Matilda · 08-21-2008, 07:22 PM

^^

... She must like the sound of her voice.

deafbajagal · 08-24-2008, 01:13 PM

So true. I've flown all my life...and I hate it. Generally I find that people just are inconsiderate, rude, and ...well, rude about covers it.

Snuggle Buddy was my latest problem. I finally got a paper clip and told him if he laid on my shoulder/arm again, this thing was going be in his nose cavity.

He stayed awake for the rest of the trip. Wide awake.

hohDougRN · 08-28-2008, 03:39 AM

LOL, yeah the motion sickness nausiated wife who

on person next to us during take off!

yes, yes, yes- call me insensitive, but I did have to laugh at that one, and will never forget it as Im sure the person who got puked on won't either.

08-21-2008, 08:42 AM	#2 (permalink)
Phillips Lets ride horses! Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Spaceship Posts: 9,158 Blog Entries: 3	Lol!! __________________ *Enjoy life today, Yesterday has past and Tomorrow may never come.*

08-21-2008, 05:53 PM	#7 (permalink)
*Jolie77* Love all, trust a few. Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Kentucky, USA (The Bluegrass State) Posts: 8,017 Blog Entries: 1	I've had to deal with a Jack-in-the-box type. It was so annoying and I was this close to smack some sense into that guy. When I was flying to Dallas for my layover on the way to San Francisco, CA - I was sitting on the aisle seat and that guy had the window seat. First, he stood up to get his laptop then sat down, he forgot to get his book, then sat down and few minutes later, he stood up to get his pen out of the bag, then sat down and another few mins later, he stood up to get his newspaper. At that point, I was burning inside and wanting to yell at him to sit down. I didn't yell but he could tell that I was getting annoyed and he finally apologized for it in the end. Also at another time, I was flying to CA via Atlanta, there was a old lady sitting next to me. She was eating 2 tuna sandwiches and (for those who doesn't know, I HATE tuna and can't stand the smell of it) the smell reeked so bad. My stomach was about to churn and I was trying to keep myself at bay with that smell. I could not wait for her to finish eating the sandwiches and when she was done with it, I thought I was home free from the smell but it turns out I was wrong. I still could smell it off from her. __________________ “Tough girls come from New York. Sweet girls, they're from Georgia. But us Kentucky girls, we have fire and ice in our blood. We can ride horses, be a debutante, throw left hooks, and drink with the boys, all the while making sweet tea, darlin'. And if we have an opinion, you know you're gonna hear it.” - Ashley Judd

08-21-2008, 07:08 PM	#9 (permalink)
Bottesini Bodhar agus leath dall Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Middle of dog pack Posts: 16,083	__________________ It's a joke Nathan!

08-28-2008, 03:39 AM	#13 (permalink)
hohDougRN GO UTAH JAZZ!! Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: utah Posts: 2,188	LOL, yeah the motion sickness nausiated wife who on person next to us during take off! yes, yes, yes- call me insensitive, but I did have to laugh at that one, and will never forget it as Im sure the person who got puked on won't either. __________________ *Doug*

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08-21-2008, 09:02 AM	#3 (permalink)
moonflower winter is on the way jeez Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Washtenaw County, Michigan Posts: 5,742	lol lol

08-21-2008, 06:33 PM	#8 (permalink)
Matilda Boxing Kangaroo "Jack" Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 2,176	My daughter flies often and yes, she ended up sitting next to a male with bad body odor. Luckily, the flight was only an hour and not an international one. She will also have a couple of grannies on separate occasions but they were the good ones in sharing the interesting gossip to pass the time away.

08-21-2008, 07:22 PM	#11 (permalink)
Matilda Boxing Kangaroo "Jack" Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 2,176	^^ ... She must like the sound of her voice.

08-24-2008, 01:13 PM	#12 (permalink)
deafbajagal Jasmine's Tiger "Lilly" Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: USA Posts: 2,634	So true. I've flown all my life...and I hate it. Generally I find that people just are inconsiderate, rude, and ...well, rude about covers it. Snuggle Buddy was my latest problem. I finally got a paper clip and told him if he laid on my shoulder/arm again, this thing was going be in his nose cavity. He stayed awake for the rest of the trip. Wide awake.