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Old 02-04-2005, 01:10 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Taking things with a grain of salt....

Is having discernment worth it? How can it be used in some situations?

For instance... a friend is telling you that another friend is backstabbing you... do you immediately believe the friend telling you this without proof, or do you delve deeper by asking around and even confronting the "backstabbing" friend?

Another example is that a politician is telling you that his health plan would be beneficial . . . do you just believe him, or do your own research to find out if he is correct in his assertions about his plan?


Play nice and discuss!
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Old 02-04-2005, 01:32 PM   #2 (permalink)
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...sorry

Last edited by Angel; 02-04-2005 at 01:59 PM.
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Old 02-04-2005, 01:35 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liza
Is having discernment worth it? How can it be used in some situations?

For instance... a friend is telling you that another friend is backstabbing you... do you immediately believe the friend telling you this without proof, or do you delve deeper by asking around and even confronting the "backstabbing" friend?

Another example is that a politician is telling you that his health plan would be beneficial . . . do you just believe him, or do your own research to find out if he is correct in his assertions about his plan?


Play nice and discuss!
it has been happening to me lately.. sheesh and it is getting tiresome..
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Old 02-04-2005, 01:36 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liza
Is having discernment worth it? How can it be used in some situations?

For instance... a friend is telling you that another friend is backstabbing you... do you immediately believe the friend telling you this without proof, or do you delve deeper by asking around and even confronting the "backstabbing" friend?
I would confront the "backstabbing" friend or ask around to investigate more before I can make a decision that my friend was indeed backstabbing me or not. I rarely jumped to the conclusion about anything. I learned the hard lesson when I was young kid and I promise to not do that again ever.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Liza
Another example is that a politician is telling you that his health plan would be beneficial . . . do you just believe him, or do your own research to find out if he is correct in his assertions about his plan?
Naw. I tend to research... actually, LOT of researching before I decide if I should believe him or not.

I also used to think that Fluoride is good for our bodies & our health because government said so but my mother said it isn't. So I decided to investigate the informations and facts by different authors and researchers... because I found out that Sweden and other countries banned Fluoride from their water system. I finally came to the conclusion that it isn't good for our bodies and our health.

I hope it is ok for me to bring Bush up as example in this topic. He shared his opinion about Social Security and I decided to look into http://www.thereisnocrisis.com/ and many results & facts conducted by economy analysts in different articles included Time before I make a decision which I did. I found it isn't crisis at all.

Discernment DOES worth to have... no questions about it. I used it almost all of the time for any kind of situations. I am not allowed any persons or knowledges (books, magazines, journals included bible) to affect my judgment until I get the information from both sides then make a decision.

I made several mistakes in the past which I don't want to repeat in the present and future so I want to look at both side and make any decisions based on it.

Edit: Ah one thing... sometimes facts alone does not good enough.. If I didn't get enough information then I will use my 'guts', experiences and conscience to make a decision.

Second Edit: I can be very straightforward at some point, I have to do that so I can make a decision based on 'effect' -- Law of Causality.
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Old 02-04-2005, 01:47 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by ^Angel^
This thread must be about me telling a friend who was backstabbing them...

I have nothing more to say on this thread, if someone talks behind my friends back, then go to this " friend " and tell them yourself, cause I want no part of it!

Yes, I would be honest up front, if someone came up to me and ask me if I backstab this person and I will tell them yes or no, I have nothing to hide!

And one more thing, I do not like it when a person pm me and talk behind my friends back and judge them just because they dislike this person, I don't like it and I don't think it's fair to judge someone without knowing them personally...If someone wants to pm me about someone they dislike, then they came to the wrong person!
Angel, I'm not sure if I understood you... do you mean somebody told me about you, and then I made this thread because of it? I can honestly tell you that I have no idea about what your situation is; for nobody has talked about it with me. They shouldn't, and yes... they should have talked with you, to be fair to you. That's what discernment is, right? To look at all sides instead of jumping into conclusions.

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Old 02-04-2005, 01:50 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I will confronting the "backstabbing" friend, Even if the "backstabbing" friend deny it, I wouldn't know what to do maybe lose some trusting in that friend.

If someone asked me if I "backstabbed" them I would tell the truth, no matter how bad it is.
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Old 02-04-2005, 01:52 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zesty
it has been happening to me lately.. sheesh and it is getting tiresome..
It seems to be happening to a lot of us.

I personally do not like confrontation, so I avoid it. I also don't like engaging in the immaturish behavior of others. I've heard rumors that someone is after me, and I took care of it by putting a few people on ignore. And, I've not thought about it since. Quite honestly, dramas like this bore the hell out of me.

Now, I will say this... If I am openly attacked by someone, I will defend myself. I will stand up for things I've said on here.

But, for the most part, I try to get along with everyone. If there happens to be someone who doesn't want to get along with me, fine, they can ignore me. I really could give two shits if someone puts me on ignore. As I see it, ignoring somebody (or them ignoring me) just makes my life all the easier.

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Old 02-04-2005, 01:54 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liza
Is having discernment worth it? How can it be used in some situations?

For instance... a friend is telling you that another friend is backstabbing you... do you immediately believe the friend telling you this without proof, or do you delve deeper by asking around and even confronting the "backstabbing" friend?

Another example is that a politician is telling you that his health plan would be beneficial . . . do you just believe him, or do your own research to find out if he is correct in his assertions about his plan?


Play nice and discuss!
It depends on each situation. If it is a good friend who is "supposedly backstabbing" me, I would delve further by asking HER directly. But if its acquaintances or people I barely know, I shrug it off. I know that there are a few Aders who gossip about me but I don't care as it is not worth my time/energy to confront them. Let them remain pathetic.

When it comes to news, I always do research but I usually go by my personal experiences when it comes to actually believing in it or not, rather than go by what others say.
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Old 02-04-2005, 01:54 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liza
Angel, I'm not sure if I understood you... do you mean somebody told me about you, and then I made this thread because of it? I can honestly tell you that I have no idea about what your situation is; for nobody has talked about it with me. They shouldn't, and yes... they should have talked with you, to be fair to you. That's what discernment is, right? To look at all sides instead of jumping into conclusions.

Oh! ummm....Did I go too far?....

I apologize Liza , umm...I thought it was about what had happened just two days ago, geeze will someone slap me please! ..

*ahem* Please forgive me and ignore my post
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Old 02-04-2005, 01:57 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magatsu
I would confront the "backstabbing" friend or ask around to investigate more before I can make a decision that my friend was indeed backstabbing me or not. I rarely jumped to the conclusion about anything. I learned the hard lesson when I was young kid and I promise to not do that again ever.
Yeah, benefit of the doubt is always.. well, beneficial. Tis better than making an ass out of ourselves. LOL But it happens, and we learn.

Quote:
Naw. I tend to research... actually, LOT of researching before I decide if I should believe him or not.

I also used to think that Fluoride is good for our bodies & our health because government said so but my mother said it isn't. So I decided to investigate the informations and facts by different authors and researchers... because I found out that Sweden and other countries banned Fluoride from their water system. I finally came to the conclusion that it isn't good for our bodies and our health.
Good example of using your discernment! I've heard about fluoride being nasty.... I suppose I WILL have to do MY own homework, won't I? LOL

Quote:
I hope it is ok for me to bring Bush up as example in this topic. He shared his opinion about Social Security and I decided to look into http://www.thereisnocrisis.com/ and many results & facts conducted by economy analysts in different articles included Time before I make a decision which I did. I found it isn't crisis at all.
Yeah, it's OK. LOL
Could it all be just opinions about how something works?

Quote:
Discernment DOES worth to have... no questions about it. I used it almost all of the time for any kind of situations. I am not allowed any persons or knowledges (books, magazines, journals included bible) to affect my judgment until I get the information from both sides then make a decision.

I made several mistakes in the past which I don't want to repeat in the present and future so I want to look at both side and make any decisions based on it.
I think that's a great attitude to have! Unfortunately, it's something that needs to be learned. *sigh* I have learned that lesson, as well.

Quote:
Edit: Ah one thing... sometimes facts alone does not good enough.. If I didn't get enough information then I will use my 'guts', experiences and conscience to make a decision.

Second Edit: I can be very straightforward at some point, I have to do that so I can make a decision based on 'effect' -- Law of Causality.
I agree. Although, we will stand by our own beliefs of how something "should" work.. and that may color our ability to discern things.

Can you explain the Law of Causality as you understand it? Thanks
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Old 02-04-2005, 02:00 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by ^Angel^
Oh! ummm....Did I go too far?....

I apologize Liza , umm...I thought it was about what had happened just two days ago, geeze will someone slap me please! ..

*ahem* Please forgive me and ignore my post
*slaps your bottom*

LOL... it's not a problem. I didn't take offense at your post, and it was obvious to me that you had your feelings hurt and you needed to express them somehow.
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Old 02-04-2005, 02:00 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Meg
It depends on each situation. If it is a good friend who is "supposedly backstabbing" me, I would delve further by asking HER directly. But if its acquaintances or people I barely know, I shrug it off. I know that there are a few Aders who gossip about me but I don't care as it is not worth my time/energy to confront them. Let them remain pathetic.

When it comes to news, I always do research but I usually go by my personal experiences when it comes to actually believing in it or not, rather than go by what others say.

I agree with you Meg, I am just like that way too, If someone close to me backstabbed me I would ask that person directly also.
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Old 02-04-2005, 02:06 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ^Angel^
Oh! ummm....Did I go too far?....

I apologize Liza , umm...I thought it was about what had happened just two days ago, geeze will someone slap me please! ..

*ahem* Please forgive me and ignore my post
^Angel^!

Will you puh-leez relax?!!!?!!!

Those of us who have spoken to you knows your heart. Be good to yourself, girl.
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Old 02-04-2005, 02:12 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meg
It depends on each situation. If it is a good friend who is "supposedly backstabbing" me, I would delve further by asking HER directly. But if its acquaintances or people I barely know, I shrug it off. I know that there are a few Aders who gossip about me but I don't care as it is not worth my time/energy to confront them. Let them remain pathetic.

When it comes to news, I always do research but I usually go by my personal experiences when it comes to actually believing in it or not, rather than go by what others say.
..Well said Meggie, Same here likewise and that's exactly what I would do....
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Old 02-04-2005, 02:14 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Wink

Liza and Oceanbreeze, love you girls! ...
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Old 02-04-2005, 02:44 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Liza
Yeah, benefit of the doubt is always.. well, beneficial. Tis better than making an ass out of ourselves. LOL But it happens, and we learn.
That appears only way for us to learn by making an ass out of ourselves hehehe.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Liza
Good example of using your discernment! I've heard about fluoride being nasty.... I suppose I WILL have to do MY own homework, won't I? LOL
Yes! lol

Quote:
Originally Posted by Liza
Yeah, it's OK. LOL
Could it all be just opinions about how something works?
Point taken. You are right that it is all be just opinions.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Liza
Can you explain the Law of Causality as you understand it? Thanks
What do you mean? Offer an explanation or an example? It is basically 'cause-and-effect' relations. I am sorry but I am not sure what you mean by that. I guess I can go ahead with few examples...

Consuming the beans and your body will provide the 'gas' (fart) in an half hour or so.

Say something that will trigger someone's anger emotion which will provide the 'truth' out of themselves.

Shot a deer and it waddled then died.

Tell a lie and it will come and haunt back.

Excessive use of antibiotics will mutate the regular bugs into the 'super-bug' which will be immune to antibiotics or render the antibiotics into useless 'water'.

There are different meaning/methods of Law of Causality or 'cause-and-effect' relation. What grade do I get from this?
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Old 02-04-2005, 03:14 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meg
It depends on each situation. If it is a good friend who is "supposedly backstabbing" me, I would delve further by asking HER directly. But if its acquaintances or people I barely know, I shrug it off. I know that there are a few Aders who gossip about me but I don't care as it is not worth my time/energy to confront them. Let them remain pathetic.

When it comes to news, I always do research but I usually go by my personal experiences when it comes to actually believing in it or not, rather than go by what others say.
well said meggiepoo like usual!
yea me too.. i would ask him or her if it was true or not.. if it was true, then i would ask why he or she did it and so forth..
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Old 02-24-2005, 02:06 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liza
Is having discernment worth it? How can it be used in some situations?

For instance... a friend is telling you that another friend is backstabbing you... do you immediately believe the friend telling you this without proof, or do you delve deeper by asking around and even confronting the "backstabbing" friend?

Another example is that a politician is telling you that his health plan would be beneficial . . . do you just believe him, or do your own research to find out if he is correct in his assertions about his plan?


Play nice and discuss!
backstabber: how much do u value his or her friendship? if so, ask the person directly.

health plan: do ur homework. it is ur money and u want to know how u r covered.
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Old 02-24-2005, 07:45 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Whenever deafies backstab me, I use it in in my grantwriting to show the hearies (grantmakers) the true colors of the deaf society and how I can fix it. It really works!

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Old 02-24-2005, 08:05 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Care to expand on that Nesmuth? The gift of discernment isn't just with dealing with the the dark side of humanity.
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Old 02-25-2005, 08:11 PM   #21 (permalink)
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It's one of the 'trade secrets' that has been on my side on the fundraising front in the recent years. Counting all the knives on my back from the ASL extremists, you really think I'd be willing to share it out?

I gave you a clue already! Blame it on your deaf school if you cant even understand what I'm talking about!

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Old 02-26-2005, 08:15 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liza
Is having discernment worth it? How can it be used in some situations?

Play nice and discuss!
Figgered a little reminding here wouldn't hurt anybody.
Some members went off a little off topic. Feel free to make your own threads on these topics, but please respect the one I started here.

I also wanted to say that it's not about backstabbing... it's ABOUT you discerning stuff. Is it good or bad, doing that? How can it be done?

Discuss.... nicely....
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