Ugly

BabyPhat21

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come on lets be honest...............would you ever date an ugly person and how did you feel when you were with them??? I have dated a few guys that was unattractive but they were so sweet, smart and caring but DAMN.......you just cant feel it sexually........I dont want to be the person who has to turn off the lights cuz you dont want to see them or fantasize about other people during sex ya know, like I hear.............. but I know they are people too but..... am I alone here.........its too bad..good looking guys are USUALLY players and only want sex..........oh well.......
 
Here's my perspective from a logical point of view:

Giving a person features is like giving a person 15 bags of marbles. Give an average person 5 marbles for physical attractiveness, 5 marbles for moral goodness, and 5 marbles for competence/successfulness. This average person isn't beautiful or ugly, just your typical nice-looking guy. This average person is also very likely to get a simple good-paying job in the future, good enough to support himself and/or his family. Lastly, this average person is also likely to be nice and respectful whenever necessary.

Now, let's start over with those 15 marbles. We want a gal who's extremely beautiful so we'll give this gal 8 marbles for her beauty. Now, she's only got 7 marbles left. What will the rest of her be like? Well, since she's very beautiful, she's more likely to focus on her looks and attract a lot of guys instead of getting things done so she'll lost marbles for her competence/successfulness. Because of that, she's given 4 marbles. What's left? Only 3 marbles for her moral goodness. What's this gal like? Well, she's very beautiful and attracts a lot of guys. She also gets things done her way so she's likely to be doing what only benefits herself instead of others. Since she's obsessed with herself, she doesn't share much feelings for others or care much for others. Overall, this gal got her 15 marbles worth.

Let's go back one more time. This time, we'll pick something different. There's this guy who's very kind and cares so much for other. He practically goes out of his way for everyone in many things and hasn't done anything horrible or bad. Wow, this guy actually has 9 marbles for his moral goodness. However, he's been so nice to other people that he forgets a thing or two on his tasks. This hurts his future career so we can't expect him to be very successful. Because of this, he's less than average... 4 marbles. What's left is 2 for his physical attractiveness. Well, obviously this person isn't handsome. This person isn't obsessed with being handsome nor does he care about how he looks.

There are some cases where the rules are changed a bit... in movies. They like making the beautiful gal very successful and ugly guy least successful. In order to do that, they give the beautiful gal 20 or 25 marbles to be greater than average in all parts. They also give the ugly guy 10 or 7 marbles to make him lower than scum. In other cases, rules are changed a bit for people who really work hard on all parts. In doing so, they earn a few extra marbles... enough to make them better than average in all parts.

Now, think about what you ask for. If you expect more on one part, don't expect much from other parts.
 
I have this way of thinking about people... if they have good personalites, then you'll eventually learn to ignore their looks and focus more on their personality and you'll realise that they are beautiful in fact, no matter how ugly other people think they are.
 
In my opinion -- and from personal experiences -- I've dated a few guys that didn't score high in the good looks category, but their personalities scored higher with me. I tend to look beyond looks because you can't really 'Judge a book from its cover' -- have to look inside to see the true spirituality and personality of the individual before passing any judgements.
 
What do you mean by ugly? Some people think I am odd looking (a syndrome has given me dysmorphic features) but others have said I'm very cute.....
I've dated some people who aren't traditionally attractive but, to me when I'm in love with them, they are extremely beatiful to me.
 
As I've gotten older, looks matter much less. I know I've changed, I've carried 4 children and aged, my hsbd has lost most of his hair and he's not the same as when I met him. But I love him more now than ever. While it's true that initial attraction has a lot to do w/looks, the long-term attraction changes. Of course, I still enjoy looking at cute young things, but that's about as far as my interest lies.
 
Nah, I dissagree totally! LOL!

Sorry VamPyroX, but I don't see logic in that, to my mind, so I'm going to dissagree... life doesn't usually hand everyone out some balance of things to work with...

I've met plenty of beautiful people who are just genetically blessed, they're not vain and self obsessed at all! Are you saying all attractive people are narcisistic, and could only be nice people if their career sucked for example? I don't believe that, some people are just genuinely and naturally handsome/pretty... and there are sure a lot of less attractive people who spend a whole lot of time trying to be something they're not, and sucking up time they could spend on the rest of the joys in life! I've also met plenty of unkind, morally and spiritually bankrupt people who weren't at all competant or successful, and weren't even remotely stereotypically attractive either... to most people's eyes, very ugly, in fact. There is so much more variety in life than you appear to credit people with! (unless I missunderstand your meaning) Some people really do shine in many ways, they aren't necessarilly moral bottom feeders just because they're attractive and have a great job that they're good at, for example. Vanity is a flaw of the spirit/mind not something that comes of being attractive in the eyes that you don't see through (other people's).

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, morality depends on your value system, so that's very personal and could be different for everyone, success is part work, part opportunity, part skill, part motivation and part time & chance!

As for dating 'ugly' people, I've never dated anyone I wasn't attracted to, or that I thought was ugly when I met them... but I've been out with a few guys that some other people who know me looked at as too unattractive, personally I didn't think so. Attraction is important, but defining someone as ugly isn't always so simple. There was one guy i dated breifly, who isn't and wasn't ever successful, who turned out to have the ugliest nature (moral scum, IMHO) of anyone I've ever met, and he was at best, only a poor average looking... until his nature showed thru, then he seemed very ugly. Frankly he didn't have much going for him at all! LOL! That's exactly why I talk about him in the past tense, I moved on, because he was ugly in multiple ways, to my perception! *Shudders at the thought of him!* Scary guy. He might have some redeeming features, but none that obviously show. I think maybe his only redeeming feature is to serve as a warning to others in life! One of my best friends, on the other hand, was very beautiful but didn't really notice that she was, she was a very successful doctor, and she spent all her spare time off work volunteering as doctor in very poor places, using her work skills to help people out of kindness and her spiritual beliefs... she was one of the kindest most loving sweetest people I've ever known, she was a big success in her work, and was physically very beautiful. Her only flaw is that she's not here anymore, what is the saying... Only the good die young? :( I miss her.
 
deafdyke said:
I've dated some people who aren't traditionally attractive but, to me when I'm in love with them, they are extremely beatiful to me.

Robert Heinlein once said that a man doesn’t require physical beauty from a woman who lifts his spirits and builds his morale. After a while, he realizes that she is beautiful—he just hadn’t noticed it before.
 
of course I do some date with ugly girls but not bother me at all. but not since high school.
 
Levonian said:
Robert Heinlein once said that a man doesn’t require physical beauty from a woman who lifts his spirits and builds his morale. After a while, he realizes that she is beautiful—he just hadn’t noticed it before.

I like that. :)
 
BabyPhat21 said:
come on lets be honest...............would you ever date an ugly person and how did you feel when you were with them??? I have dated a few guys that was unattractive but they were so sweet, smart and caring but DAMN.......you just cant feel it sexually........I dont want to be the person who has to turn off the lights cuz you dont want to see them or fantasize about other people during sex ya know, like I hear.............. but I know they are people too but..... am I alone here.........its too bad..good looking guys are USUALLY players and only want sex..........oh well.......

vamprox is fat and nerd. Yet... he have beautiful girlfriend.
 
To be honest I usual goes after the Cute &Hot guys and usual the Hot guys i have dated in the past are really jerks... But.. Im trying hard to go for the guys heart.. if the guy is sweet , caring and treats me like a princess.. he is mine.. and have to be honest too .. I cannot stand guys who lies... But important thing.. He has to be cute ... not Hot.. not too ugly.. if u knw what i mean go firgues.. I dont know what im talking about myself..
 
well, to be honest, I don't think I can date or to be with somebody that are too ugly. That just reeks me....I just can't look at somebody who is just so ugly and it just makes my stomach hurls and feel like to throw up -- I just don't have the gut or imagine to kiss/make love with somebody who is so ugly. :lol: Sorry, I can't help it for feeling that way. Hope I didn't offend anybody in any way and I am just being honest how I feel or whatever. :)
 
illustrator said:
vamprox is fat and nerd. Yet... he have beautiful girlfriend.


I think VamproX is a good looking guy And I would date him...
 
I wanted to say that I'd date anyone that I was attracted to - if we have chemistry. That's what matters to me! I wouldn't date someone that I wasn't attracted to out of pity. That will only lead to more problems and more serious heartbreak that I don't want to deal with.

Ehmm... that's when my handsome husband lets me date, that is! :rofl:
 
illustrator said:
vamprox is fat and nerd. Yet... he have beautiful girlfriend.

Ehm, were you evaluating him as dating material for yourself? :rofl:

Intelligent and cute guys like vampy turn me on! I am not that surprised that he has a great looking girlfriend. :D Unfortunately, my husband has declined my request for a personal harem. :naughty:

Guys who lack character and force others to follow their beliefs and choices turn me off 100 percent no matter how good looking they are. :barf: Boy-band cute guys aren't my forte either. Been there and done that! I must admit I like 'em tall and bulky with a rugged handsome look. That's a real man for me. To each one's own!
 
illustrator said:
vamprox is fat and nerd. Yet... he have beautiful girlfriend.


I recall seeing a picture of him somewhere on here and he's cute. Better looking than you, so who are you to talk? More importantly, he's not full of himself. I've come to notice that all of your posts seem to be self serving.
 
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