To all hearing parents of Deaf kids

[deafskeptic]

That's my philosophy, but you have to be careful when you get into Child Care. Some people [who mean well, I'm sure] get so caught up in the fact that they've gone to school and read all the books that they forget that parents, who may never have finished highschool are with their kids most of the time (hopefully) and know a lot more about them then the professionals do. I'm not saying parents are perfect, but when the people who are supposed to be helping start dictating in a situation that is not abusive and is entirely a personal choice (such as sign) then it's time to look for a new job or new caretakers. It's really, really sad and fustrating. I still get upset about it and it's been three years!

Yeah. Experts don't know everything. Many parents put too much stock in experts.

 

[November Gypsy]

That's because it's a scary job to be a parent in some ways. It's just such a big responsiblity, and suddenly, you are supposed to have the answers, and when you don't...it's easy to look to those educated for the purpose and hope they have the answers. In some cases, they do, but you have to use your discression. I would say that any 'expert' who blatantly goes againist a deaf parents wishes as far as sign goes, has forgotten that he or she is not god on earth when it comes to childcare. It's a perfectly legit way of communicating. Just because it isn't verbal doesn't make it wrong.

 

[faire_jour]

When my daughter was 3, our Parent Infant Program (for deaf/hoh) did a survey of all the parents. They asked the parents what communication methods they used with their child, 3/4 said they used both sign and speech. I think lots of parents use at least a little ASL.

 

[Cheri]

Parents aren't perfect, they tried to do what best for their own child, they have the best interest of their child at heart, sometimes they think that the decision they made for their child is the right one as it turned out it might not be the right one, It's important for parents to be open and flexible to willing to make changes. I know that most parents takes professional's advice more than advice from the deaf community. I think that problem is that the deaf community are scaring those parents away, It's time for some of us to laid off, seriously. We are qualified to give advices, but we are not to tell them what to do or how to raise their child. They know their child better than we do regarding socially, emotionally and educationally. If some parents want their deaf child to exposed to both sign and speech, let them, if some parents want their deaf child to exposed to signs and not speech, let them. If some parents want their deaf child to exposed to speech and not signs, let them because every deaf is an individual.

There are many deaf who can be successful with the oral method, while there are many who cannot, it's the same for speech as well, There are many deaf can be successful with speech while there are many who cannot.

As for me, It'll be so nice of all hearing parents know sign language, with their deaf children. Speech would be great too, but I'm aware that not all deaf people can be successful with speech.

 

[shel90]

You are right, Mountain Man. Before I went deaf I worked with 'special needs' kids. I was told not to encourage use of sign language in two of the kids I worked with...DISPITE the fact that their mothers were trying to teach them sign. I did not stay long at that job, for that and many other reasons. But, unfortuntely, this is a growing problem. When I pointed out to my boss that the parents wanted these kids to sign, she told me quite cooly that (basically, not a direct quote) that these people were uneduacted, poor and didn't know what was best for their kids. Yes, they were poor (that was part of the program), but they knew what they wanted for their children. Both mothers of these kids were deaf, and they signed but they also spoke, obviously, because I was able to communicate with them and at the time I didn't know how to sign anything. I was literally told to ignore the kids when they signed and wait until they verbalized. How wrong was that? How unbelievable is it that people treat children like this?[/QUOTE]

To me that is a form of mental abuse because it is subconsicously teaching the children that what they are doing is bad and then they will more likely internalize that belief and end up being ashamed of their deafness. That's what AVT and oral-only deaf education does and it just drives me nuts. These children are begging to get their communication needs met. Adults are responsible for ensuring that,not the children.

 

[shel90]

PARENTS are the only one who knows whats best for the kids

not always..my mom thought by not exposing me to sign language and putting me in an oral-only program was the best for me. It wasnt. I dont blame her but the doctors who told her that in order for me to be normal, I shouldnt use sign language. To me, that was an audist view that they taught my mom.

 

[loml]

Parents aren't perfect, they tried to do what best for their own child, they have the best interest of their child at heart, sometimes they think that the decision they made for their child is the right one as it turned out it might not be the right one, It's important for parents to be open and flexible to willing to make changes. I know that most parents takes professional's advice more than advice from the deaf community. I think that problem is that the deaf community are scaring those parents away, It's time for some of us to laid off, seriously. We are qualified to give advices, but we are not to tell them what to do or how to raise their child. They know their child better than we do regarding socially, emotionally and educationally. If some parents want their deaf child to exposed to both sign and speech, let them, if some parents want their deaf child to exposed to signs and not speech, let them. If some parents want their deaf child to exposed to speech and not signs, let them because every deaf is an individual.

There are many deaf who can be successful with the oral method, while there are many who cannot, it's the same for speech as well, There are many deaf can be successful with speech while there are many who cannot.

As for me, It'll be so nice of all hearing parents know sign language, with their deaf children. Speech would be great too, but I'm aware that not all deaf people can be successful with speech.

Excellent post Cheri!

Parents choices need to be respected. Bullying parents into something that they are not capable of doing, for many reasons, is completely ineffective, and simply instills fear and/or polarizes the relationship. While I agree that it would be nice for all hearing parents to know sign language, I do not believe that this is or can be a reality for many families. I also believe that it is in the childs' best interest to know the language of their family. Clear communication within the family unit is imperative. The family is/are the perfect teacher(s) for their language, via cueing, the Deaf community for ASL.



m2c

 

[Frisky Feline]

PARENTS are the only one who knows whats best for the kids

It depends on where the parents learn from the teachers, audiologist or doctors and form their opinions/experiences then they pass their knowledges to their kids but what if parents and kids are not in the same level. Parents are the most tough job than regular jobs.

 

[Moon-child]

PARENTS are the only one who knows whats best for the kids

I know what you are saying here, but there are exceptions. My parents never tuned into the fact that I am severely hard of hearing. I was treated like a mentally handicapped child instead. My parents did not know what was best for me.

 

[Moon-child]

I believe in teaching augmentative communication. Use signs, use oral, use photos, use pic boards, find the combination that works for the individual, whether that be your child, your student or your client. to say one way works for all is just naive. My child is hearing but I taught him basic sign and speech together and have no regrets.

 

[Cheri]

Excellent post Cheri!

Parents choices need to be respected. Bullying parents into something that they are not capable of doing, for many reasons, is completely ineffective, and simply instills fear and/or polarizes the relationship. While I agree that it would be nice for all hearing parents to know sign language, I do not believe that this is or can be a reality for many families. I also believe that it is in the childs' best interest to know the language of their family. Clear communication within the family unit is imperative. The family is/are the perfect teacher(s) for their language, via cueing, the Deaf community for ASL.

Ioml. While I agree that parents decision need to be respected, It's very important for parents to find a methodology that will match their deaf child not forcing a child to match a methodology.

 

[jillio]

Excellent post Cheri!

Parents choices need to be respected. Bullying parents into something that they are not capable of doing, for many reasons, is completely ineffective, and simply instills fear and/or polarizes the relationship. While I agree that it would be nice for all hearing parents to know sign language, I do not believe that this is or can be a reality for many families. I also believe that it is in the childs' best interest to know the language of their family. Clear communication within the family unit is imperative. The family is/are the perfect teacher(s) for their language, via cueing, the Deaf community for ASL.



m2c

Children's needs should be respected as well. When parental choices have a negative impact on children's needs and ability to effectively communicate and be educated, they most certainly need to be questioned. This isn't about what the parent needs; it is about what the child needs. There are those parents that choose to teach their children that White Supremacy is accpetable, too. Should we respect their choices to the degree that we don't offer those children the opportunity to learn the truth?

If cuing were the panacea that you want toportray it as, it certainly would have become more widespread in use over the last 40 years. Despite all of the renewed efforts to sell it to the hearing parents, the educational professionals, and the deaf themselves, it has all but continued to die out. Evidence: the handful of proficient cuers in both the professional and private arenas. The only people promoting CS are the ones that are paid to do so.

 

[Cheri]

There are those parents that choose to teach their children that White Supremacy is accpetable, too. Should we respect their choices to the degree that we don't offer those children the opportunity to learn the truth?

Where did this came from? How is this related to the topic at hand?

 

[jillio]

Where did this came from? How is this related to the topic at hand?

Its called a comparison between 2 negatives.

 

[rick48]

Where did this came from? How is this related to the topic at hand?

It is not. It is just a deceptive and manipulative form or argument. If you compare "A" to something that is universally acknowledged as negative, i.e. White Supremacy, then you bootstrap "A" into having the same negative perception such as White Supremacy.

This is not an issue about parental needs, no one but Jillio brought that into the mix, it is about parents making decisions that are in the best interests of thier child as they have determined them to me.

In this instance, the parental decision centers around language or comunication choices for their deaf child. While there is agreement that there are different methods and choices, there is no agreement that one method is the best for every child. There is also no bright line test for any one method. You just cannot say, give a child a ci, then speech and language lessons 3 times a week for one year and if your child has not developed oral speech and language then move on. It does not work that way.

You also have to take some of these terms with a grain of salt such as "language delays". What exactly does that mean? What is the extent of the delay? Is it one that can be corrected? Is it one that will never allow the child to develop language? The truth is that it is a subjective term capable of misleading and manipulation by those who toss it around.

Bottom line as several of you have said, each child is different, there is no one method for each and every child and the parents usually know their child better than anyone else.
Rick

 

[shel90]

Children's needs should be respected as well. When parental choices have a negative impact on children's needs and ability to effectively communicate and be educated, they most certainly need to be questioned. This isn't about what the parent needs; it is about what the child needs. There are those parents that choose to teach their children that White Supremacy is accpetable, too. Should we respect their choices to the degree that we don't offer those children the opportunity to learn the truth?

If cuing were the panacea that you want toportray it as, it certainly would have become more widespread in use over the last 40 years. Despite all of the renewed efforts to sell it to the hearing parents, the educational professionals, and the deaf themselves, it has all but continued to die out. Evidence: the handful of proficient cuers in both the professional and private arenas. The only people promoting CS are the ones that are paid to do so.

Agreed, if it was proven to work for the majority of the deaf population, I would promote the use of it. However, I dont have problems with using it as a teaching tool just like I use SEE as a teaching tool during my Language Arts classes. Just dont use those two for language development..that's the difference.

I feel like my grammar is really messed up today...is "proven to work" an error? LOL!

 

[shel90]

I believe in teaching augmentative communication. Use signs, use oral, use photos, use pic boards, find the combination that works for the individual, whether that be your child, your student or your client. to say one way works for all is just naive. My child is hearing but I taught him basic sign and speech together and have no regrets.

My hearing son is fluent in both ASL and English now...no regrets either. Just wish my daughter was fluent in ASL but because I used my voice while signing to her, she never developed fluency in ASL so with my son, I kept both separate.

 

[flip]

Bottom line as several of you have said, each child is different, there is no one method for each and every child and the parents usually know their child better than anyone else.
Rick

Trying to justify what you have done to your children, huh? Sorry, but science have proved you wrong.

 

[flip]

Excellent post Cheri!

Parents choices need to be respected. Bullying parents into something that they are not capable of doing, for many reasons, is completely ineffective, and simply instills fear and/or polarizes the relationship. While I agree that it would be nice for all hearing parents to know sign language, I do not believe that this is or can be a reality for many families. I also believe that it is in the childs' best interest to know the language of their family. Clear communication within the family unit is imperative. The family is/are the perfect teacher(s) for their language, via cueing, the Deaf community for ASL.

m2c

Another SPAM...

 

[faire_jour]

Trying to justify what you have done to your children, huh? Sorry, but science have proved you wrong.

"Done to your child"? What is that supposed to mean?

You are wrong, science has not shown that there is one single way to educate a deaf child. There are pros and cons to every choice.