Rude

BabyPhat21

BabyPhat21

New Member
Joined
Mar 6, 2003
Messages
3,094
Reaction score
1
Do you have hearing family that thinks you are rude cuz you dont do anything beyond saying "hi" like hug, kiss them or shake their hands...... my family keeps BITCHING me about this but this is who i am. I dont like to act fake. I am not an emotional or friendly or smiley person!!!
 
Well my family dont complain about me whenever somebody comes over. When they arrive i usually say hi or hug then i'd just go to my room to play some games or whatever since i dont hang around with pretending im part of the conversation. My family knows it can get boring that way for me so i keep myself busy with my sister or just read whatever i can find worth reading.

Your family seems to be little strict with you expecting you to act more like hearing. So just sit them down and have a talk with them. If they wouldnt budge the you might have to live with that when u live under their roof.
 
My parents do that to me. They still treat me like a kid and when I approach them maturely, they assume something's wrong. :crazy: I know how you feel.
 
when im around hearie family members i tend to go off doing my things after ive greeted them and made small talk -- but really i get so B O R E D around them :zzz:
 
one day i went to a dinner with mom and dad with a co worker and mom had to interp cuz of my hearing aid went on the fritz So result>??? I ended up telling mom to decline on my behalf if they are invited, i will decline as its too much for mom and me, So since mom screwed up her elbow her hands have gotten *painful* and to a point ( she may have to find another job due to her set backs of the elbow its been hard on healing.) So now whenever there's a big event ( hearie wise) i will decline with one exception im going to a wedding, then after that zoom back home. not gonna stay for the reception as it s expected of me to soicalize, and thats gonna wear me out. cuz im the one that helped out with a door that jammed at starbucks a fridge door was badly jammed and none of the poeple could open it i was the only one. HAHHA turns out a bottom part sucked in too far, anyway thats another story, my only thing i do is just make small talk at home ( when we have guest) then come back in here and do my own thing on puter or watch tv or whatever :)
 
Yes, recently, when I flew to New Jersey for a week to visit my mother in the hospital, I said hi and then sat and stayed quiet. My family were talking and leaving me out as usual. So, I watched telly and all of a sudden, my sister start to make fun of me acting as if I am grumpy or mad. It made me mad but I said nothing. At my dad's house, I blew up at my dad and my sister: "I am trying to be quiet and respect you to leave you alone to chat, even though it leaves me out. And then (my sister) makes fun of me of something I didn't do. It bothers me!" They said nothing to me. I said "I won't apologise because I have nothing to apologise for. All I did was be quiet and do nothing. But of course, you have to constantly find ways to criticise me. I can't wait to go back to Utah." After that, they seemed to try to act nicer, but it was like "too late" for me.
 
I used to be in your situation. My parents and especially my material grandparents have taught me to say hello and smile whenever I am around people even if I didn't like them.

I am glad they have done that to teach me good manners. I don't want everyone to think I am like most of my father's family. My father was a better man than most of his family. He was well liked by many people around. I wish I could be as my father was.

It does not hurt you to say hello or just smile. You don't have to stay in and talk to them. You can just say "excuse me" and walk away.
 
U right, Brian..it dont hurt to say hello and smile but if you dont get into the conversation with the hearies, they think you are stuck up or not friendly..geez..until i explained that im hearing impaired..they either make an effort to include me and sometimes they just ignore me......*sigh*.....cant win, can we? heh..
 
kuifje75 said:
Yes, recently, when I flew to New Jersey for a week to visit my mother in the hospital, I said hi and then sat and stayed quiet. My family were talking and leaving me out as usual. So, I watched telly and all of a sudden, my sister start to make fun of me acting as if I am grumpy or mad. It made me mad but I said nothing. At my dad's house, I blew up at my dad and my sister: "I am trying to be quiet and respect you to leave you alone to chat, even though it leaves me out. And then (my sister) makes fun of me of something I didn't do. It bothers me!" They said nothing to me. I said "I won't apologise because I have nothing to apologise for. All I did was be quiet and do nothing. But of course, you have to constantly find ways to criticise me. I can't wait to go back to Utah." After that, they seemed to try to act nicer, but it was like "too late" for me.
Click to expand...


:grouphug: It's hard when that happens. My sister and I always stuck together whenever we had to attend hearing functions with our family -- but fortunately, both sides of mum and dad's all were understanding about deafness and did try their best in getting us involved and made sure they all faced us whilst talking to us, so we could lip read what they were saying to us, etc.

It's hard when a family's not understanding and are rude and inconsiderate to deaf members of their families. :mad:
 
most time, when my mom talk someone at store or family whatever, i had a right tell mom what they talk abt!!!!! then she tell me what they talk abt it.. cuz of i cant hear and full deaf ... my mom know my rule, every time i am with her, she know need intperter (sp) for me once!
 
BabyPhat21 said:
Do you have hearing family that thinks you are rude cuz you dont do anything beyond saying "hi" like hug, kiss them or shake their hands...... my family keeps BITCHING me about this but this is who i am. I dont like to act fake. I am not an emotional or friendly or smiley person!!!
Click to expand...


To be honest, my family dont complain to me in generally...when there's friends of my family or relatives come visit us...I usually come out of my room or other room and said hi plus hugs then disappear into room do my own stuff...my parents knew this I am not interested in being left out...it is difficult when my family blah blah...often of time my mother walks into my room and cue me to tell my relatives or friends how awesome I am doing at school and all trashes u know...I just nodded off...but my mother sometime get little upset or disappoint if I dont say thank you...
 
I don't think it is any fair for the hearing people having to tell/interpret what is being said if you happen to have deaf visitors over and they don't bother to tell/interpret for the hearing people to know. :)
 
BabyPhat21 said:
Do you have hearing family that thinks you are rude cuz you dont do anything beyond saying "hi" like hug, kiss them or shake their hands...... my family keeps BITCHING me about this but this is who i am. I dont like to act fake. I am not an emotional or friendly or smiley person!!!
Click to expand...

I know exactly how you feel. I believe every deaf member in a hearing family go through that. I speak very well and hear a lot, but my family always forget that I don't hear everything. I'm only person in the family who would move far away like a couple of states away. They think I don't care about them and disowned them which is not true. I love my family but they will never understand the world I live in unless they become deaf themselves. :|
 
I can relate to y'all about that family situation.. During my college life, My mom begged me to come up to visit and I said okay I am poor and need money for foods .. not gas to drive.. she said no worry,I ll give u money for gas.. I said alright, we visited my family and they left me out.. acted like I am not there. I got used to that and felt it s waste of my time and my money. .i decide to visit them every 2 - 3 mos and they are upset abt that. I told them how I felt about that and they are quiet and said nothing abt that.

Every time I visit them, I noticed they are acting nicer and asked me what i wanna drink or etc? :S Since I moved from PA to GA, My parents always pay for my airplane ticket to visit since they really want to see me which is no plm for me. they want to see my daughter more often now.. they respected me so far.. but now my hubby's family is still in that stage.. ignoring us .. i told my hubby that he have to stand up someday when he s frusrated w/ that.
 
Oh my!! I am almost related to you..

My family always say that I am rude to them, I was like, for what!
They said, that I never call them or anything, but I always email them and I told them, well, you never call me or send me emails.. So they started to see the fair, and they keep it quiet and not to mess with me.

Since I have a son, and they always call my husband how is my son doing.

if I move out from the state, I am not coming to visit them till holidays like Christmas, or New Year's or Thanksgiving or vacation.
 
Back
Top