Restraining order against legal age boyfriend for minor daughter

[Liebling:-)))]

maybe some do I don't know,
parents I know personally worry equally about their children regardless their sex.
It just that as I've said already with boys you worry about something more, girls something else more.
It is simply more likely that boys might get into fights, extreme sports ect,
girls into too much bad gossip, how they look competition, thinking too much about boys etc.

Don't you know that girls could be tomboy?
Don't you know that boys could be gossip ?

Example: I remember Danny was upset on other day and told me that he found out his friend is 2 faced to him which he thought his friend is his true friend.

No matter what they acts but they still treat equal.

Again I am not sure if I get you, but..

Tracy's story is only an example what may happen to any girl if she is unlucky enough to meet and love a wrong boy.

It really doesn't matter what exactly has happened because the point is- she was abused. It ended badly.

The question Mooki asked - what if the mother took restraining order against Tracy's boyfriend?
then whatever happened, would NOT have happened.
there would be no Tracy's bad BF, no bad marriage, nothing. that is the Mooki's point, IMO.
Tracy's life would have been very different.

Mookie says: look at Tracy as na example - to show what can happen if the parents DO NOT get RO early enough.
Then it may be too late someday to do anything.

Yes I get what you or Mookie said but it makes no sense to me. I think you didn't get what I try to explain.

I explain again...

How could you know that Tracy's future husband is gentleman before she married him? Sure, Tracy would of not marry him in first place if she knows he is abusive. Look an example about my step-dad.

yes of course I do know that but in the link it says clearly:

""He is not physically abusive that
I know of, but he does not allow her to have any friends, and the
occasional times he works he "puts" her at his house to stay with his
mother until he gets off from work.""

oooooh that's bad sign, bad bad bad.....

I would suggest you to read the whole to end in my link. A mother is glad that she did not do that and realized that word is mainly important than get RO. She admitted part of her mistakes for control her daughter's boyfriend. If her daughter is happy with him then is her choice, not mother. They still are together for over 16 months now. She like her daughter's boyfriend and find him nice. I agree with mother's comment that age difference is not important role to her.

mother's post
I will repeat that their age difference is not an issue with me; he is 19 and she is almost 17, that's not so huge a difference. I really like him and
he treats her well,

and this might seem minor but it has potential of evolving into something more serious:

""a simple thing
like the other day when I brought home suishi, and Katie was eagerly
going to have some, and because you don't like suishi you said you
wouldn't kiss her if she ate it, so she tried to hand it back to me.
That's controlling! But in a very mild way... you scare her by
withdrawing your approval of her.""

Huh? My husband hate smell of garlic or onion in my mouth and don't want to kiss me. I do not take his word serious. I didn't know that you took it serious. It has nothing do with controlling, that's just they don't like smell or see the ugly food. Of course they would kiss on next day...

I think the mother's instinct is telling her the boy is not to be trusted, and she could be right..

Fuzzy

Disagree... The parents often make mistakes. Not alway right. The children will never learn but will go to wrong path if you overparent, overreact, overprotect them.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

just found this:

http://www.endabuse.org/resources/facts/DomesticViolence.pdf

- Male violence against women does much more damage than female violence against men; women are much more likely to be injured than men.

- On average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in this country every day. In 2000, 1,247 women were killed by an intimate partner. The same year, 440 men were killed by an intimate partner.

- Seventy-eight percent of stalking victims are women. Women are significantly more likely than men (60 percent and 30 percent, respectively) to be stalked by intimate partners.

Fuzzy

Yes I aware it.

You never know that my boys could be one of fewer who are being abuse by sex manic or whatever. No matter what but I still want my sons be safety. *knock on the wood*

 

[RedheadGrrl]

Ah well I dont know what to say but I read the msg abt the mother got the ssn of the boy to see who he is. I want to know how did the mother get the ssn. I am curious, did she steal the wallet to find the ssn or whatever it is in the wallet?

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Ah well I dont know what to say but I read the msg abt the mother got the ssn of the boy to see who he is. I want to know how did the mother get the ssn. I am curious, did she steal the wallet to find the ssn or whatever it is in the wallet?

Is that what you mean about Mookie's post?

http://www.alldeaf.com/showpost.php?p=514329&postcount=36

If yes, that's what I thought so. See what I answered Mookie's question.
http://www.alldeaf.com/showpost.php?p=514903&postcount=80

I felt that this message, Mookie provided is not full story on mother's side. Mookie promised me that he will provide source/link for us to read everything after my answer.

 

[Angel]

Ah well I dont know what to say but I read the msg abt the mother got the ssn of the boy to see who he is. I want to know how did the mother get the ssn. I am curious, did she steal the wallet to find the ssn or whatever it is in the wallet?

Good question there

 

[Cheri]

Well sorry I thought I will be funny sorry if it wasn't.

Angel, Cheri- I am very disappointed in you.

Looks like as soon as you are losing ground (argument) in discussion then you act affronted and exit.
Hmpf..


cluck cluck cluck..??

Fuzzy

btw - I thought EVERYONE is expecting to get answers to their question, and I am no exception

Can you read??! I posted that I AGREE with the mother, You did not ASK me no questions, Stop pulling my name into this. You certainly don't even act your age either, Look how you post, It's so junior high! Grow up Fuzzy

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Cheri, have you read my response post with link of mother's post on your post because you stated that a daughter already bought fly ticket to fly with her boyfriend? It's misunderstand... It's Grandma who bought a flyticket for a daughter and want her to fly to see her for 4 days. A daughter don't want to go in last minutes because her boyfriend don't want her go. It got mother mad and threat and blackmail her to get RO to stop her daughter to see her boyfriend because of this.

Now she find right way is talk to boyfriend's mother... boyfriend let daughter go at last... I would suggest you to read the whole in this link.

http://www.alldeaf.com/showpost.php?p=514275&postcount=29

 

[Cheri]

Cheri, have you read my response post with link of mother's post on your post because you stated that a daughter already bought fly ticket to fly with her boyfriend? It's misunderstand... It's Grandma who bought a flyticket for a daughter and want her to fly to see her for 4 days. A daughter don't want to go in last minutes because her boyfriend don't want her go. It got mother mad and threat and blackmail her to get RO to stop her daughter to see her boyfriend because of this.

Now she find right way is talk to boyfriend's mother... boyfriend let daughter go at last... I would suggest you to read the whole in this link.

http://www.alldeaf.com/showpost.php?p=514275&postcount=29

I must have missed your post, there was too many replies by same members here that I might have skipped your post by accidently, I admit that I have misread what she said about the plane tickets purchased. Thanks for pointing that out for me. But, I still stand my ground that I'm with the mother on getting RO on the 18 years old boyfriend. Sorry Hun! .

 

[VamPyroX]

There is a lot of risk with letting someone who is underage date someone who is of legal age. If they do have sex, that is considered statutory rape because the child is unable to give informed consent.

What I would suggest is for the parent to talk to the child.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I must have missed your post, there was too many replies by same members here that I might have skipped your post by accidently, I admit that I have misread what she said about the plane tickets purchased. Thanks for pointing that out for me. But, I still stand my ground that I'm with the mother on getting RO on the 18 years old boyfriend. Sorry Hun! .

I see no problem for your opinion.

Well, mother didn´t go to get RO after received the comments from people. What she do is went to boyfriend´s mother. Boyfriend´s mother convinced him... So he listened to his mother at last... It was happened last year... Check the date of link... Mother updated in her last post that her daughter and boyfriend are still together for over 16 months now. I´m glad that mother doing right for not go to get RO...

 

[Liebling:-)))]

What I would suggest is for the parent to talk to the child.

Yes I second that.

 

[Angel]

There is a lot of risk with letting someone who is underage date someone who is of legal age. If they do have sex, that is considered statutory rape because the child is unable to give informed consent.

What I would suggest is for the parent to talk to the child.

I agree!!

 

[GalaxyAngel]

Yup... as long make sure my daughter is OKAY.. as long keep in touch that important.. If not keep in touch w/me. May lead sumth'n wrong w/her or might happending.. I have no choice and check on my daughter's place.. (If suppose in the future) Still I do all I want let her that I care.. Still No matter what, I want her happy new nest home wait til 18 yrs old of age...

If suppose College or University... As long I want her keep contact me sometime each another day...
Yes I do scared, What happend out there don't know coming up... Just want K.I.T. peroid!

 

[Cheri]

There is a lot of risk with letting someone who is underage date someone who is of legal age. If they do have sex, that is considered statutory rape because the child is unable to give informed consent.

Generally, when someone of 18 or over the age of consent has sex with someone below the age of 18, who's willingly to have sex, The 18 years old or over the age consent is still guilty of statutory rape.

 

[Audiofuzzy]

How could you know that Tracy's future husband is gentleman before she married him? Sure, Tracy would of not marry him in first place if she knows he is abusive. Look an example about my step-dad.

Liebling - it really DOESN'T MATTER.
What are you doing is you analyze EVERY SINGLE detail in Tracy's story. Unneccessarily. Tracy story has got NOTHING at all TO DO with Mom's from the link.


Mookie only used Tracy's example because this is KNOWN story.
We know NOW what happened. And because we know NOW what happened, Mookie said- Wonder what would happen if Tracy's mother got RO against Tracy's BF before all that happened.. ... it DOESN'T MATTER what really happened, do you understand now?

yes, Tracy's Bf could have been great gentleman who turned into monster afterwards but this is IRRELEVANT!.
because this is only AN EXAMPLE.
used to show how sometimes getting RO might be a good thing. There is no point of analyzing Tracy's story- Mookie could have used ANYONE with similar story as an example.


As for the whole story of Mom who wanted RO - I think I saw it on dr Phil's. I don't know if that was the same family but it looks like it was.

Yes the parents were out of "order" too. But still the mother was right about the BF. He wasn't mature enough and his mother looked kinda misinformed about girl's family.
The boy mother though the girl really is abused, also I had na impression she really didn't cared that much -who, why, where.

The BF- he seemed to be manipulating the girl abit , and the girl herself she wanted desperately to be "adult" and mostle it was her who wanted to be with the boy. She lied a lot.

Bottom line is, she was 16, her place was at home. her mother was righ to want to keep her home even as screwed as she was herself. Fortunately dr Phil always provide psychotherapy for his guests so let' hope this family is on the mend.

Can you read??! I posted that I AGREE with the mother, You did not ASK me no questions, Stop pulling my name into this. You certainly don't even act your age either, Look how you post, It's so junior high! Grow up Fuzzy

yes I can, can YOU?
Cheri, you are manipulating again.
This is not only about agree- disagree about RO and girl's mother,
but about ALL what was written in here.
I am sorry if I disappointed you in the other thread - but you were wrong about me then, and anyway this is no reason to put me down now wherever you can.

No matter what they acts but they still treat equal.

*sigh*....

once again please understand I always agree as parent we treat boys and girls equally. But for gosh sake girls have vaginas and boys have penises, and that make them different! their problems diffrent!
boys don't get periods and girls don't have voice changes.

Fuzzy

 

[IslandGal]

*sigh*....

once again please understand I always agree as parent we treat boys and girls equally. But for gosh sake girls have vaginas and boys have penises, and that make them different! their problems diffrent!
boys don't get periods and girls don't have voice changes.

Fuzzy

I understand what Audiofuzzy and Mookie are trying to say.
Even though parents treat their sons and daughters equally but it is really different with girls. Most parents are more protective with their girls because in most cases I have seen are they get pregnant during their teens and they will be the ones stuck with raising the baby at home while the baby's father is running around with freedom.

 

[Mookie]

I understand what Audiofuzzy and Mookie are trying to say.
Even though parents treat their sons and daughters equally but it is really different with girls. Most parents are more protective with their girls because in most cases I have seen are they get pregnant during their teens and they will be the ones stuck with raising the baby at home while the baby's father is running around with freedom.

ButterflyGirl, finally, you do nail on that one!!!

 

[RainGurl]

I´m agree with Angel totally. I´m the same opinion as Angel.

Get Restraining order against legal age boyfriend of minor daughter do not solve anything but worst. Daughter would lost her respect her mother more and more for that.

I was 16 when I got involved with my ex who was 25 at the time. My mother was upset about it but not so much as she allowed him to move in with us. That is when I had my first child. I wish my mother would have been alittle more street smart. If one of my girls did that, I would say ok you want him, you pack up and provide a place of your own to life with your life and his.
That is tough love. But also it's bringing your child to a reality that if she is 16 or such and "feels" that she is able to have "a relationship" then she needs to be able to take care of herself completely then.

Relationships are grown up decisions, good or bad. To be able to have a relationship you need to know, live and understand life. In order to make good decisions comes experience in dealing with consquences and responsibilities. I was 16, I had no clue what life was until I got pregnant with my first child. I was innocent and very taken advantage of. I got into a very bad relationship, and he knew I had no life skills as far as taking care of a family, and finanical things and even being a mom. I had to "learn" that all. Thankfully for me, I learned quick. But often older men, take prey on younger women because they are like a child and easy to control. Since younger women rely on "an older guy" to make smart, and responsible decisions they feel they can "rely and depend" on him. Not realizing he is taking complete control of her life.

When I left my ex, at 22. It stuck it out for 5 long years. I realized that I was smarter, and understood life alittle better now that I had been in the real world. One of the things he said after I left was, what happened to you? You used to love me? After all the abuse, and everything. I replied," I grew up, I am no longer a child anymore. I am a woman." My world was in my control and I knew if I didn't take control he would eventually run me to the ground. I left and never looked back.

See, a young girl can be so easily trapped. I think the Mom is wise enough to know this. She is saving her from a lifetime of pain and regret.

 

[Mookie]

I felt that this message, Mookie provided is not full story on mother's side. Mookie promised me that he will provide source/link for us to read everything after my answer.

Liebling, there are only two of you against the idea of using RO for the sake of underage daughter.

Here is the link. http://www.laborlawtalk.com/showthread.php?t=1438. That's all I could find. I wish I could dig more but I have to go back to university class soon...

I bet one of the AD unpaid assistants would not admit about his relationship of his daughter....

 

[IslandGal]

Get Restraining order against legal age boyfriend of minor daughter do not solve anything but worst. Daughter would lost her respect her mother more and more for that.

How do you know that she would lose her respect for her mother? This doesn't always happen because I have seen some daughters thank their parents later on for protecting them.

About the mother in the link that you provided, all I see is she was trying to protect her daughter from her boyfriend who has been controlling her and he even doesn't allow her to have friends. These are one of the abuses in a relationsship. I wouldn't be happy if one of my daughters got involved in a relationship with a guy who is a control freak.