Problem with a friend sticking her nose into mine and other friends private lives...

shezzbeav

shezzbeav

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Hi all,

I'm not sure if this is the right place to have this thread, but moderators, if this is in the inappropriate place, please feel free to move it.

I have a friend whom I have known for nearly 6 years. Let's call her Sally.

Lately she has been sticking her nose into other people's private lives and relationships.

A good male friend of mine (let's call him Tommy) recently started a serious relationship with a girl he really liked.
Sally and Tommy are best friends and they have known each other since they were pre-schoolers.

Since Tommy got his first serious girlfriend, Sally has been sticking her nose into their relationship from the beginning and hasn't stopped ever since. Tommy is really fed up and frustated with her, and he wants to tell her to stop sticking her nose in the nicest way possible without hurting her feelings.

I was expressing my feelings to another friend of mine (again, lets call her Amy) about engagement, and how I was waiting for Andrew to pop the question and also how I'm happy to wait. I also told Amy I wasn't in any hurry, but that I was ready for the next level.

Amy told her fiance, who then went and told Sally today - apparently he told her that I was complaining to Andrew about how we weren't engaged yet.

I was appalled and upset. That was not true at all. I hadn't pushed Andrew yet and I dont intend to. I was also hurt that Sally was asking me thousands of questions about this, and she wanted me to admit it. She was complaining about how I didnt tell her this and that. I was so pissed off at the fact that she wants to know everything about everyone.

I have been wanting to tell her to quit sticking her big fat nose into other people's business, but I have no idea how. I don't want to hurt her feelings nor have the friendship ruined. Tommy feels the same - he's really sick of her.
 
It is not 'right' time for you to make a joke like that in this topic, Miss P......


shezzbeav, it is possible that you wouldn't want to take my advice but I would suggest you to be blunt with her about that situation. It is wrong of her to do that. She should've known the limit or where the boundary line is... I can safely assume that she would do that again and again in the future if you or anyone haven't talk to her face-to-face about that. It is also highly probable that you may lose her friendship but from here, it appears that she do not have any respect for you... does it worth your friendship?

Ahh... but again, maybe I don't know what I am talking about?
 
Oh you like having friend who caused trouble? Now I understand why you have hots for RS

I think you really don't belong here! OR STFU!


Miss*Pinocchio said:
I wish I have a friend like Sally. She seems very helpful. :cool:
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well I don't have friends... but I would love to have Sally as my friend
who would support me all the wayyyyyyyy.
 
What I'd view sally as what? My fake friend! I would never trust this person and treat this person as untrusty stranger. I do not need any troublemaker snooping around.
I have known few of people here similiar to Sally... I just simply stayed away from them. One of them I called her the Gossip Queen! Believe it or not, she had BA degree in Social Worker, and she don't know how to shut up her mouth over confidentials!!! GAWD!!!

I just re-read... I understand the fear of losing friendship. Sometimes harsh blunt in front of those acquainces does trick. I don't know any other solution, but just treat her as not real friend.
 
Don't you see WHY you don't have friends? Don't you know most people do NOT like troublemakers!!!! If you quit being troublemaker, and respect others. You will have friends.

Miss*Pinocchio said:
well I don't have friends... but I would love to have Sally as my friend
who would support me all the wayyyyyyyy.
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IMO anyone who sticks thier nose where the sun don't shine isn't a true friend at all, not only that u know theres ALWAYS backstabbers, and my partner for one got into a heated arguement with her ex who she was trying to solve a plm with but his best friend ( like you are going thru) did the exact same thing and then i start my partner getting really angry and beckoned me and i said whats up? she told me what was up and had me read the IM and i then ask her if she wanted me to put a stop to it or what? she said shes butting in too much i want talk straight with my ex fiance to get all the old plms out of the way so they can have a clean slate, but her ex friend wasn't allowing that she kept on butting in and calling my partner names in which i told her to knock it off with the insults and to let her ex talk to my partner and let them solve thier own plms... my partner already told me EVERYTHING and our * knock on wood* future, and all that so she liked the fact we communicated whilist her ex didn't understand anything and jumped to conculsions. anyway... aside from that she has since blocked her ex and told him all the plms he's having... hes on his own now and she will not help him anymore... and all that shyt. Alll i told his so called best friend was to knock it off and let her and her ex solve thier plms on thier own and butt out of it....

But for you i can understand u don't want to hurt feelings but lemme be the first to say, since the others havent honesty hurts theres no way around it, just be honest with yourself and it will make you feel better cuz its your concious thats bothering you, and the best friend butting in and being nosy is not respecting your privacy and u need to confront that saying u need to butt out of my personal business and let me tell the poeple NOT the best friend. shes gonna be labelled as a gossipmonger!
 
Miss P, can you PLEASE sod off?
I don't want people like you bumping my thread. All I am asking for is help and advice, and other people's similar experiences.
 
Shez, I gotta loveeeeeeeeee aussie talks its hard to figure if ur cuzzing at someone or just plain being polite and crude LMAO! Sorry for the off topic but HAD to comment that....
 
LOL, thanks java.

Thanks everyone (not Miss P) for your advice.

I guess I'll have to be blunt and straightforward with her, but I cannot seem to find the right way to say it.
 
shezzbeav said:
I guess I'll have to be blunt and straightforward with her, but I cannot seem to find the right way to say it.
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Or you can wait for the right moment/opportunity for you to speak out. It usually works best in that way but not always though. I totally understand how hard it is for you, I had been in that position before with one of my friends.

Good luck and take care.
 

:wave: Sheezbeav --

I've been through like this -- similiar like yours. She kept askin' other people about my life and where I was born and everythin'. :roll: She called me "Italian Bitch". :rofl: I don't give a f**k ! Oh, yeah I went to her house and confronted her about everythin' what she did. She don't live that far from me. She was sooo scared and told her male room mate that she has an ulcer... just because, of me. Geez whiz I moved down here to start a new life last Jan. 2005 and she told him that I gave her ulcer -- oh, please !! She always have a chronic health problem for the past 6 years ! :roll:

I can understand how you feel. I don't blame you. My man was with me and he saw everythin' when I confronted that woman. I am not afraid to speak out of my mind. :)
 
I wouldn't that either.

I wouldn't like it either if my friend put there nose into my business.
I "Thought" I had a deaf girlfriend,but I really didn't.
She turned into a "Phoney".
Really don't have any boy or girfriends.
They called me every name in the book, including "Dirty Jew".
Margie
Dir. Of Commucaition Services
OCDAC
 
deaflibrarian said:
Sometimes honesty is the only way to go as I can see this person you are talking about is what I call "relationship poison." You wouldn't drink poison would you? So why do you have friends that are poison? You wouldn't take a bath in poison would you? So why do you surround yourself with people that are poison?

Maybe this person thinks she is helping, but she is actually making things worse. If she keeps asking you this and that, I'd just say I don't see why this is of any concern to you, and that is why I am not saying anything about this to you. Now let's change the subject. If she doesn't get the clue or gets ticked off, it is her problem, not yours.

Btw, about this other guy who is in a new relationship, it could be possible this woman is jealous and trying to keep being part of his life so she keeps bugging him, not realizing that doing so she very well could be pushing him out of her life.

Good luck with this person. One thing, don't tell people things you don't want to come back to you all messed up and twisted out of proportion. Every little piece of information gets changed a bit by each person it is told to so by the time it gets back to you it is all twisted around. That example you gave where you told your friend that someday you'd like to get engaged, but not right now, she told her fiance, who then told this woman you're having problems with and now it is all blown out of proportion was the perfect example.
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Exactly ! But, remember this famous quote : "What goes up always comes back down". :)
 
CyberRed said:
Exactly ! But, remember this famous quote : "What goes up always comes back down". :)
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it's also similar to what goes around comes around
 
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