Perhaps my experience can help another

RiverSong

New Member
In my life I have learned many things and perhaps by sharing this, it can help others who may be going through something similar.
A few years ago, shortly after getting my first pair of hearing aids, a friend had set me up on a "blind date" without telling me, and introduced me to "Chris". She and her boyfriend had a "double date" with us that night. Chris seemed very friendly and I agreed to let my friend give him my number. She had told him prior to introducing us that I am HoH, use hearing aids, and ASL (my best friend when I was younger was deaf). It didn't seem to bother him at first, but slowly (slow enough that I really didn't notice), he would start answering questions that people asked me when were out, a few weeks later we went to lunch and he ordered for me, and like an idiot I let him. A week after the lunch issue, he invited me to his parents house for dinner with his family, my friend and her boyfriend and a few others. The night of the dinner he picked me up from work and went to his house. After we pulled into his driveway we began walking in, until he stopped abruptly and quickly spun to face me, without saying a word he yanked my hair tie out of my hair (I wear my hair up because it is hot most of the year in Florida and because it will occasionally cause my hearing aids to make a horrible sound) and told me "do NOT put your hair back, do NOT sign, do NOT ask for someone to repeat themselves". Looking back, that should've been a huge red flag to leave immediately, but I let it go. I thought things were fine until I began playing pool with the others. I looked over and saw Chris whispering to his dad, when I asked what they were talking about he brushed me off saying it was nothing. When it was my turn to make a shot, as soon as I postioned my cue, his dad took the cue and said "that's cute that you think you know how to play, but this is a game of strategy and as such is only for smart people". I was furious, more so when neither Chris nor my friend stood up for me. Soon after that my friend came over and asked me how to sign something, so I showed her. The instant that I did, Chris stormed over and smacked me across the face, I finally found the courage to say something. I gave him a choice take me home or I will walk. He refused, my friend decided that it was a good time to leave.
What I hope others will learn from this, is to watch the person you are with very carefully and at even the smallest hint of intolerance, control or abuse, PLEASE leave if you can and if you can't leave without help, there are resources for you.
1(800)96-ABUSE (1-800-962-2873) I believe the TTY extension is 711 instead of 800.
SafeSpace (number varies by state and city, most doctor's offices will have it posted on tiny slips of paper.
Reach out to anyone that you can trust. Please don't make the same mistake that I did.
 

whatdidyousay!

Well-Known Member
How horrible ! I am sorry this happen to you. I wish you had reported the ass to the cops for assaulting you. As soon as I read he guy was speaking for you I knew this was not going to be good.
 

RiverSong

New Member
Oh his entire family was the same. A lot of good came from that experience, I have been able to help others find the courage to accept help and escape. Thank you link and encouragement!
 

Reba

Retired Terp
Premium Member
Thank you sharing your personal painful experience. I hope it does help others.
 

ncff07

Resident Punk Ass
Premium Member
Keep in mind most places have local women's shelters and other programs to assist abused women in their time of need and it may be a good idea to find the information on those services in your area ahead of time before its actually needed. The local women's shelter here also provides cell phones to their clients to use in case of an emergency. (I've donated many used cell phones to them.)
 

whatdidyousay!

Well-Known Member
Keep in mind most places have local women's shelters and other programs to assist abused women in their time of need and it may be a good idea to find the information on those services in your area ahead of time before its actually needed. The local women's shelter here also provides cell phones to their clients to use in case of an emergency. (I've donated many used cell phones to them.)
My daughter had a friend that had a very abusive dad , the girl mother had dies and her dad became more abusive . When she was at my house I showed her my phone book that had hot lines # for help and the next time I saw her she said her dad was getting abusive with her and she told me her dad he better watch out b/c she know who to call for help! Her dad backed off. So it good also tell your daughters who call if thwy date an abusive guy.
 

femme Fatale

Official AD Nutcracker
Very unfortunate she hung on after all the warning signs. Never settle just for the sake of being dependent on him, LEAVE! Hope the experience didn't change your personality for the worse... :hug:
 

RiverSong

New Member
Very unfortunate she hung on after all the warning signs. Never settle just for the sake of being dependent on him, LEAVE! Hope the experience didn't change your personality for the worse... :hug:
I had no idea what was happening, having low self esteem didn't help. I wish I had know what would happen. Now that I have found my own self worth and accept myself; I know what to watch for, it makes things much easier.
:wave:
 

deafdyke

Well-Known Member
I had no idea what was happening, having low self esteem didn't help. I wish I had know what would happen. Now that I have found my own self worth and accept myself; I know what to watch for, it makes things much easier.
:wave:
Although I don't know you I'm VERY proud of you for reconizing that was a horrible relationship. People with low self esteem are at high risk of getting sucked into crappy realtionships, especially since our society puts such an emphasis on being in a relationship being tied up with good self worth.
 

RiverSong

New Member
Although I don't know you I'm VERY proud of you for reconizing that was a horrible relationship. People with low self esteem are at high risk of getting sucked into crappy realtionships, especially since our society puts such an emphasis on being in a relationship being tied up with good self worth.
Thank you! I have found more support here than anywhere else (except for my family). :wave:
 
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