Parents won't learn asl with me

whatdidyousay! said:
I did not say anything about parents not allowing their child to grow. I raise my daughter to very independence but we still talked to one another . I really don't think it's your place to tell a kid to spend less time with their parents.
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Well, I don't think it is your place to get all upset about my opinions.
 
heysell23 said:
That is actually a Rlly good idea but what happens if they get mad or just laugh it off? But it's actually a really good idea I might try it


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No, it's not. It's bad advice. Forcing an issue when you still live under someone's roof is not a smart thing to do.

Learn sign and try to teach your parents.. Compromise is the best way to go.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
No, it's not. It's bad advice. Forcing an issue when you still live under someone's roof is not a smart thing to do.

Learn sign and try to teach your parents.. Compromise is the best way to go.
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Today in my church there is a deaf guy and he knows little asl and I am teaching and learning with him and my dad saw how happy I was to sign with him and he saw my smile as I was talking to him and asked me you really like signing don't you and I responded it makes me life easier I think he is having second thoughts and is going to learn asl with me



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VacationGuy234 said:
No, it's not. It's bad advice. Forcing an issue when you still live under someone's roof is not a smart thing to do.

Learn sign and try to teach your parents.. Compromise is the best way to go.
Click to expand...


Today in my church there is a deaf guy and he knows little asl and I am teaching and learning with him and my dad saw how happy I was to sign with him and he saw my smile as I was talking to him and my dad asked me you really like signing don't you and I responded it makes me life easier I think he is having second thoughts and is going to learn asl with me


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Sometimes it takes parents a few to realize what's going on. You need help them relate to you in this way. For example ask them if they trust. Then say Do you like having a car. Of course I am hoping both answers will be yes. Then you say well my hearing aids get most of the job but I don't hear everything its like walking to the store but with sign language its like getting into the car and driving to the store. Asking them about trusting you just reminds them that they know you. Anyway just an idea. I know with my kids I told them to put their hands over their ears told them to talk to each other and that is how I explained my hearing aids. Best of Luck.
 
heysell23 said:
Today in my church there is a deaf guy and he knows little asl and I am teaching and learning with him and my dad saw how happy I was to sign with him and he saw my smile as I was talking to him and my dad asked me you really like signing don't you and I responded it makes me life easier I think he is having second thoughts and is going to learn asl with me


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Some parents will have hard times to learn ASL, dont be disappointed if they couldnt able to pick up ASL. keep signing and voicing at the same time, so maybe they may pick up one or two words for sign.
 
heysell23 said:
Today in my church there is a deaf guy and he knows little asl and I am teaching and learning with him and my dad saw how happy I was to sign with him and he saw my smile as I was talking to him and my dad asked me you really like signing don't you and I responded it makes me life easier I think he is having second thoughts and is going to learn asl with me


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I think that is great, lead by example.
 
heysell23 said:
Today in my church there is a deaf guy and he knows little asl and I am teaching and learning with him and my dad saw how happy I was to sign with him and he saw my smile as I was talking to him and my dad asked me you really like signing don't you and I responded it makes me life easier I think he is having second thoughts and is going to learn asl with me


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WOOHOO! Some wiggle room there....maybe he'll relent on school placement...that would be AWESOME! Like you could go to a dhh program.
 
I'm sorry about your parent refused to learn ASL with you. I believe it's Deaf personal decide to learn ASL. My parents wanted to learn sign languages when I was 3 years old. My Audist CI doctor were not allowed my parent to learn sign language at 16 months old. My parent were concern about my tantrum temper for not communicate. I hid the stuff from my parent to make attention what I wanted. I was very strong willed. Until I enrolled to Pre School for the hearing impaired. My mom told to teacher that Audist doctor weren't allowed her to learn sign language for communicate, she was overwhelmed. My teacher suggested my parent to learn sign language to comminicate. She said Audist was wrong to force parents to not teach sign language. I learned ASL then suggest my parent to learn ASL. The did well. I'm glad that my parent made choice me to learn sign languages. I thanked my parent for this.
 
PinkBlackZebra00 said:
I'm sorry about your parent refused to learn ASL with you. I believe it's Deaf personal decide to learn ASL. My parents wanted to learn sign languages when I was 3 years old. My Audist CI doctor were not allowed my parent to learn sign language at 16 months old. My parent were concern about my tantrum temper for not communicate. I hid the stuff from my parent to make attention what I wanted. I was very strong willed. Until I enrolled to Pre School for the hearing impaired. My mom told to teacher that Audist doctor weren't allowed her to learn sign language for communicate, she was overwhelmed. My teacher suggested my parent to learn sign language to comminicate. She said Audist was wrong to force parents to not teach sign language. I learned ASL then suggest my parent to learn ASL. The did well. I'm glad that my parent made choice me to learn sign languages. I thanked my parent for this.
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Oh wow that's crazy and yea I see deaf families communicating and understanding each other that's what I want I need to know that I will be able to communicate wot my parents and no information will be misunderstood


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heysell23 said:
Oh wow that's crazy and yea I see deaf families communicating and understanding each other that's what I want I need to know that I will be able to communicate wot my parents and no information will be misunderstood


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Yeah. You're not only one who won't learn ASL with you. It happened to every parents got advice from the doctors encourage to every hearing parents to not teach Deaf children to learn ASL. The parents made option for children with communicate method in LSL or oral. The most audiologist offered parent to talk with doctor about hearing loss children and encourage them to not choice sign languages. Audiologist have three options of communication method in AV/LSL, SEE/TC and ASL/BiBi for deaf children.

Can I ask you? How old are you now? If you're over 18 years old. You have to be right to make decide to learn ASL to communicate with Deaf people.
 
PinkBlackZebra00 said:
Yeah. You're not only one who won't learn ASL with you. It happened to every parents got advice from the doctors encourage to every hearing parents to not teach Deaf children to learn ASL. The parents made option for children with communicate method in LSL or oral. The most audiologist offered parent to talk with doctor about hearing loss children and encourage them to not choice sign languages. Audiologist have three options of communication method in AV/LSL, SEE/TC and ASL/BiBi for deaf children.

Can I ask you? How old are you now? If you're over 18 years old. You have to be right to make decide to learn ASL to communicate with Deaf people.
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Im 15 so I have 3 more years left


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heysell23 said:
So this method Rlly worked for u? Oh wow I Rlly gotta get some guts an experience in asl before I try it thx guys for the first time I'm gonna do something daring


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Haha, that depends, she might drop a sign once in a blue moon. But it got the message across, that I would like to talk with her more but it too stressful. I talked to her exponentially less until I moved out. I think botte has a point about finding a network of deaf friends, in that your parents are not going change if what they've done all your life has worked.
 
The important thing is for your parents is to listen to your needs. I don't understand why parents refuse to listen to their child or children who have lost one or more senses (normal five senses). A deaf or hard of hearing child/children need accommodations like ASL, reading and writing on papers with pen or pencil and closed captioned T.V. As for schools, a deaf child, even HOH child need ASL in spite of lipreading which can make a child get lost not understanding what the hearing person said. That is why we need Deaf schools where there are Deaf or maybe hearing teachers that can sign ASL and give the ability to make the students understand what the subjects was about in the classrooms. Parents need to pay attention to the deaf child's needs. Never ignore this. This will make the child become frustrated and not happy if he or she don't get the needs.

My mother ignored my needs to be a deaf child, not be like them. I did not learn to sign until I graduated from high school. I hate mainstream schools and that made me unhappy and frustrated all the time. :(
 
Hi,

this topic really touches me every time, probably like it does many other people who experienced the same.

I can't give you any real advice, because only you know your parents, your relationship and how hard it is for you to miss out on certain things. Yet, I want to tell you a little bit about my parents, and how it was for me growing up.

Technically I'm hard of hearing. I wear HAs, can lipread and get along that way. I speak German and English, people understand me either way (if they know the language at least), and I went to a hearing school. So, my folks never saw any reason in learning sign and simply didn't do it.
I was sad about that, I was hurt, I was angry. They love me, they told me that and I always knew that, however they refused to grant me that wish: Learning sign language together. So I spend many many nights wondering why that is.
My parents accepted it, when I signed with a Deaf friend, they didn't care that they missed out a lot in those situations, but that was about it.
At this point: How do your parents feel about that? Is it okay for them, that YOU want to learn sign? Do they support that decision? If yes, you can ask them if you are allowed to go to that local group to get to know some people in your area. Maybe one of them will join you?!
Then there is the thing, that you want them to learn with you. Well, with my parents NOTHING worked out. They don't sign, neither with my Deaf husband, nor with me. I don't think there will be anything that will change that and that is partially my fault. (I'll explain that soon..)
I tried just signing to them, refusing to speak, I explained about a hundred times how important it would be for me, etc. They never really got it. When I refused to speak, it was just an annoying tantrum I was having in my Teens (according to my Dad). Explaining helped a little bit. When I told them how hard it was at school, that I hated it, they just argued I should go to speech therapy again, work on my skills and "be strong!" (yeah, because that did me any good:roll:) At one point I finally understood why they refused to learn. Even though I complained, I got along and THEY had no problems with me. THEY were understood, they saw me smiling and nodding in conversations, they were happy and looked back at what they have overcome. What they didn't see: how much work it was for me, and that it wasn't getting easier with time. How could they?! They never experienced what it is like to be deaf. And at some point growing up I finally understood: They'll never get it, because they can't even imagine what it's like. That was the point where I gave up and just kept reading their lips, missing out on conversations and pretended to be happy, even though my life in school was the living hell. And that was my fault: I gave up trying to make them understand! You should never let it go! (You don't have to keep fighting for the rest of your life, but keep your parents in the clear on what you missed out due to their lack of interest in learning sign.)
You know what got my Mom to finally try and use her hands to talk? My then one and a half year old little girl, who taught her a few words. She thought it was awesome that she could communicate, before she was able to speak.
And that was kind of a punch in the face and once more made it clear to me, that they never really had any clue what a hearing loss really means.
I have made my peace with my parents. I have accepted them for who they are with all their flaws and still wonder, if it could have gone a different way.

I hope for you, that you will never have to make the choice between your family and your happiness
 
Latascha said:
Hi,

this topic really touches me every time, probably like it does many other people who experienced the same.

I can't give you any real advice, because only you know your parents, your relationship and how hard it is for you to miss out on certain things. Yet, I want to tell you a little bit about my parents, and how it was for me growing up.

Technically I'm hard of hearing. I wear HAs, can lipread and get along that way. I speak German and English, people understand me either way (if they know the language at least), and I went to a hearing school. So, my folks never saw any reason in learning sign and simply didn't do it.
I was sad about that, I was hurt, I was angry. They love me, they told me that and I always knew that, however they refused to grant me that wish: Learning sign language together. So I spend many many nights wondering why that is.
My parents accepted it, when I signed with a Deaf friend, they didn't care that they missed out a lot in those situations, but that was about it.
At this point: How do your parents feel about that? Is it okay for them, that YOU want to learn sign? Do they support that decision? If yes, you can ask them if you are allowed to go to that local group to get to know some people in your area. Maybe one of them will join you?!
Then there is the thing, that you want them to learn with you. Well, with my parents NOTHING worked out. They don't sign, neither with my Deaf husband, nor with me. I don't think there will be anything that will change that and that is partially my fault. (I'll explain that soon..)
I tried just signing to them, refusing to speak, I explained about a hundred times how important it would be for me, etc. They never really got it. When I refused to speak, it was just an annoying tantrum I was having in my Teens (according to my Dad). Explaining helped a little bit. When I told them how hard it was at school, that I hated it, they just argued I should go to speech therapy again, work on my skills and "be strong!" (yeah, because that did me any good:roll:) At one point I finally understood why they refused to learn. Even though I complained, I got along and THEY had no problems with me. THEY were understood, they saw me smiling and nodding in conversations, they were happy and looked back at what they have overcome. What they didn't see: how much work it was for me, and that it wasn't getting easier with time. How could they?! They never experienced what it is like to be deaf. And at some point growing up I finally understood: They'll never get it, because they can't even imagine what it's like. That was the point where I gave up and just kept reading their lips, missing out on conversations and pretended to be happy, even though my life in school was the living hell. And that was my fault: I gave up trying to make them understand! You should never let it go! (You don't have to keep fighting for the rest of your life, but keep your parents in the clear on what you missed out due to their lack of interest in learning sign.)
You know what got my Mom to finally try and use her hands to talk? My then one and a half year old little girl, who taught her a few words. She thought it was awesome that she could communicate, before she was able to speak.
And that was kind of a punch in the face and once more made it clear to me, that they never really had any clue what a hearing loss really means.
I have made my peace with my parents. I have accepted them for who they are with all their flaws and still wonder, if it could have gone a different way.

I hope for you, that you will never have to make the choice between your family and your happiness
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And to add to one more thing, the hearing parents need to sign halfway so that would make us, d/Deafies, being able to understand some when we lipread them. That would make our life a little bit easier to understand them. But no, we have to understand them all the way in their own way. They don't want to work on learning to sign at all. They only make us suffered more while we tried to work on our speech. Pfffft. :roll:
 
Bebonang said:
And to add to one more thing, the hearing parents need to sign halfway so that would make us, d/Deafies, being able to understand some when we lipread them. That would make our life a little bit easier to understand them. But no, we have to understand them all the way in their own way. They don't want to work on learning to sign at all. They only make us suffered more while we tried to work on our speech. Pfffft. :roll:
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EXACTLY! Why is it so hard to understand......Yes,it's OK for your kid to develop speech and hearing skills....BUT, meet them halfway and learn ASL for them! Know what I find odd? Parents who adopt cross cultural kids are encouraged to expose their kids to their heritiage and language.....but the thinking is that its OK to ignore Deaf stuff for kids who can function or who are HOH.
 
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