On the defense?

MissMegTheBaker said:
I've tried to, however, I don't want to really push them away even further since it seems the fact that I can hear is what makes them feel like already against them. I mean, jeez, I'm looking up stuff online to try to understand this culture better and to be apart of it the best way a hearing person can be. I'm learning sign language(prior to Switched at Birth) for the sole purpose of IF I ever run into someone who is Deaf/HOH then they can be included too and not feel left out. It's frustrating to be seen as a "hearie" and not even be given a chance to show that I'm open and communicative.
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is it POSSIBLE that you come off as creepy to them? just asking.
 
sallylou said:
Wirelessly posted (droid)

Maybe you should stop studying deaf people like a monkey in the zoo. Sounds like you're annoying them.
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Thanks for being rude and disrespectful where I'm trying to be nice. Shows a lot of compassion and intelligence on your part.
 
MissMegTheBaker said:
Thanks for being rude and disrespectful where I'm trying to be nice. Shows a lot of compassion and intelligence on your part.
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Going up to people and asking why they are defensive is compassionate and intelligent?

Try that with some other minorities besides the Deaf and see if they have a different reaction.

I think you may then be able to cross reference how similar different minorities are in their defensiveness. :D
 
MissMegTheBaker said:
Thanks for being rude and disrespectful where I'm trying to be nice. Shows a lot of compassion and intelligence on your part.
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Sally! How dare you be so rude!! Deaf people only exist for enjoyment / entertainment / amusement hearies don't you know???

Ok Meg....here what you want hear: we Deafies all very sorry, we all solemn swear jump up and down excited with undying gratitude next time you want treat us like circus sideshow...you are certainly only person in history ever do this and we humbly apologise for try exercise basic human rights / signifies when clearly we do not deserve them. I call dibs on afternoon freak show...I like sleep late.
 
The only times I can think of in which I did not react well to a hearing person approaching me was when they get so excited about the fact I'm deaf and think it gives them automatic license to practice what little ASL they knew on me. I'm not a guinea pig, thank you very much.
 
Wirelessly posted (droid)

Re: intelligence
The queen of the nerds laughs in your general direction. Lol

Deaf people at socials want to socialize. Creepy people who want to interact as a cultural experience interrupt our socializing. We get creepy people on a regular basis so you are not unique.
We aren't obligated to interact with creepy people. Each deaf person does not act as an agent of the Deaf community. Don't expect deaf people to act as ambassadors to the hearing world. In short, treat deaf people like people.
None of this is personal. I'm generally open to conversing with hearing people because I'm late deafened. I don't want to deal with people with a 'tude. Sometimes I've had a hard day and I'm too tired to deal with anyone. Often the person says something offensive because she's ignorant about Deaf cultural and it's not my responsiblity to educate her.
If you want to be involved in the Deaf community, go to Deaf events and be an observer. Listen more than you try to communicate. Don't expect to be accepted immediately. Don't expect people to trust you immediately. No one should trust a stranger immediately. Lots ofcurious people drift through. It takes time to build personal relationships. If you're not interested in building personal relationships with deaf people, you're treating deaf people like an amusement or academic interest. If you don't really want long-term deaf friends, do us a favor and stay home.
 
Wirelessly posted

I've had a hearing woman walk up to me and say "you're a wonderful person! I can tell just by looking at you! We should be friends!"

I had to nod my head, smile and walk away. If you want to get to know a deaf person, treat that person like any other normal human being. Don't ask anyone "why so defensive?" without taking a good look at yourself first. How was your approach? And practice on that. I prefer getting introduced to hearing people at social functions so theres a mutual connection. I don't like being randomly approached unless you're a very cute man... ;) I'll make that exception...
 
I get defensive when people, especially hearing people, disregard my personal and professional experiences in deaf education just because I'm deaf and prefer to use ASL instead of speech.
 
I haven't decided if this person has good intentions or not; however, most of you seem to have already decided......looks like the OP has zero chance at this point.
 
Wirelessly posted (droid)

The question "why are you defensive?" assumes the fact that we are defensive. It's like "when did you stop beating your wife?" The correct objection to the question is "assumes a fact not in evidence."

Isn't "why are you so touchy" a privileged question that invalidates any minority group? Are you going to say that we're "uppity," too?
 
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Tousi said:
I haven't decided if this person has good intentions or not; however, most of you seem to have already decided......looks like the OP has zero chance at this point.
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:hmm: Is that commentary, or correction?

I am merely engaging her in dialog about how to conduct studies. :wave:
 
Bottesini said:
:hmm: Is that commentary, or correction?

:
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I'm just talking out loud, pretty much. The basic question is pretty vague and after all this time, nothing has fleshed out to clarity so might as well trash this thread. :lol:
 
Wirelessly posted (droid)

If the Op is performing a study, she needs to disclose that fact. A study without informed consent is unethical. I thought that the op did not limit the question to formal studies.
 
Tousi said:
I'm just talking out loud, pretty much. The basic question is pretty vague and after all this time, nothing had fleshed out to clarity so might as well trash this thread. :lol:
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Yes! :ty:
 
Wirelessly posted (droid)

Heh, I posted a well-thought out post on the subject. Just because the OP doesn't want to hear it doesn't make it invalid. Most of the time, when a person asks a question, she doesn't want a real answer. She wants people to tell her what she wants to hear.

Maybe we should ask the op, why do you want to know?
 
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sallylou said:
Wirelessly posted (droid)

The question "why are you defensive?" assumes the fact that we are defensive. It's like "when did you stop beating your wife?" The correct objection to the question is "assumes a fact not in evidence."

Isn't "why are you so touchy" a privileged question that invalidates any minority group? Are you going to say that we're "uppity," too?
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There's a saying that 90% of questions are statements in disguise.
 
Wirelessly posted (droid)

Berry said that a large percent of communication consists of how the speaker feels about a listener. That's true here.
 
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