Nerdy One-Liners

#1
Yep. That's right. I have decided to give myself zero pay raise this year: $80,000 + 0 = $800,000.

4/3 people don't understand fractions.

There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who know binary and those who don't.

Oh, judge your damn laws: the good people don't need them, and the bad people don't follow them, so what good are they?

Never take life seriously, no one gets out alive.

Flying is simple. Throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from

I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them - George Bush

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. Thats relativity.

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the US of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon.

Square root of negative one. I have an imaginary friend.

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.

The probability you just read this sentence: 1

THe probability of someone watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Studies show...that starting any sentence with "studies show" makes people more likely to believe whatever nonsense you say.

Meiosis...results may vary

friction is a drag

I'm not lazy, I'm overflowing with potential energy

333...I'm only half evil

Biology, the only science where multiplication and division mean the same thing

As a scientist, I am constantly working with materials that threaten life on a global scale. And sometimes they spill...

support bacteria, it's the only culture some people have

Health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.

Some people are like slinkies. NOt really good for anything, but you can help but smile when one tumbles down the stairs.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid one day, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing

whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again

Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero

2 is not equal to 3. even for very large values of 2

Friendship is like peeing on yourself. Everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling it brings.
 

VamPyroX

bloody phreak from hell
#2
There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who know binary and those who don't.
I love this one! I've seen this on T-shirts. One time at RIT, I was standing in an elevator. This guy walked in with that T-shirt and stood across from me. When I read it, I laughed. He looked at me and said, "Finally... someone who understands this!" He gave me a high-five. ;)
 
#3
Of all the versions of "There are __ kinds of people in this world..." That one is by far my favorite. You actually have to know binary to understand it, compared to the others where you just have to be able to pay attention. I go to a Math Science and Technology school, so I get tons of laughs when I wear the shirt. Then I go to my other high school, which is just a normal public high school, and everyone is clueless. I find it funny.
 

VamPyroX

bloody phreak from hell
#4
Of all the versions of "There are __ kinds of people in this world..." That one is by far my favorite. You actually have to know binary to understand it, compared to the others where you just have to be able to pay attention. I go to a Math Science and Technology school, so I get tons of laughs when I wear the shirt. Then I go to my other high school, which is just a normal public high school, and everyone is clueless. I find it funny.
Here's one that I saw on an episode of The Simpsons...

C:\DOS
C:\DOS\RUN
RUN\DOS\RUN

I think it was worn by the comic book store guy.

Here's the actual T-shirt. :)

http://www.zazzle.com/c_dos_run_tshirt-235602856138854664
 

sallylou

Potterhead and Janeite
Premium Member
#5
LOL!

Told my hubby yesterday that I was not versed in his nerdy computer ways!

I'm a nerd but not that kind. Math/history/law nerd here.
 

souggy

New Member
#8
"Lando's not system...he's a MAN." (Star Wars geek reference)

"I'm DNA polymerase and I'm here to unzip your genes!"

And a palaeontology joke...

"Tyrannosaurus rex is the coolest dinosaur by an observed margin"
 
#10
I have a t-shirt that says, "Theory Proven: There are dumb people who actually read this sentence to completion"

I like "Alcohol and Calculus don't mix. Don't drink and derive"
 
#13
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the US of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon.
:laugh2: I just Facebook statused this one. :P
 

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