My daughter wants me to start dating again.....

Dixie

Dixie

Farting Snowflakes
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It's been years since I've been on a date and for some reason she wants me to date her father (yeah right, I'd rather go to hell than date that asshole!)

But I'm thinking she wants a 'dad' in her life, but I doubt this will ever happen. I have a better chance of actually going to hell than I would finding a halfway decent man. How do I explain this to a 7 year old without putting her in an adult situation?
 
Tell her the truth. That dating is your decision and not hers. You will decide when you are ready. A relationship/dating is not something to be entered into frivolously. A sister-to-sister program may give her more mature role models in her life.
 
S0rceress0 said:
Tell her the truth. That dating is your decision and not hers. You will decide when you are ready. A relationship/dating is not something to be entered into frivolously. A sister-to-sister program may give her more mature role models in her life.
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I never heard of sister-to-sister, and with the mature comment I feel like you're offending me. Maybe I'm just reading it wrong?
 
Dixie said:
I never heard of sister-to-sister, and with the mature comment I feel like you're offending me. Maybe I'm just reading it wrong?
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I apologize, I meant the emphasis on "more" not "mature"
Sister-to-Sister, Big Brother, Big Sister programs are available in many areas around the world. They are not always called the same thing.
She may feel that you are the ONLY mature role model in her life and would like more life experiences to learn from.
 
I'd go with the truth, too, Dixie.

You can tell her something like...

"Honey, your Dad and I don't get along, so we have to be apart. It would not be good for Mommy to see him. I know you miss your Dad, but how about it if you gave him call, wrote him a letter, drew him a picture"?

She may just be missing him, Dixie, or like you said, she may be fishing for a Daddy? :dunno:


It's tough being a parent, though, huh?
 
That Odd i have granddaughter said same thing to me my older daughter agree with her funny i ask them why ..... they don't want me be lonely without having some hold me if i cry ....Ummm Love is attention i can see that maybe that why 7 year might think i might be wrong ..... if you are not interested dating just tell her truth how you feel if you want to wait in right place .....smile.
 
She could be concerned for you and want to see someone to love you or like the others have said...she could be searching for a father figure. I think others had good advice. Hope everything goes well! Hugs to you for doing one of the hardest jobs...being a single parent.
 
Dating again

My brave friend Dixie, you have alot going on in your life, wow I bet this request really gave you a headache. smile...I am sure your daughter in like all kids where mom and dad are not together, they always think they will all be back together "someday."..I respect the fact that you are being carefull about how you approach this. Maybe sitting with her and explaining that you to would like to date someday...but it may not be her dad. I hope you encourage her to stay on contact with him. Their relationship should continue as long as you feel it is appropriate. Let her know you are working hard to make a better life for you and her. and you know what Dixie, you really are much stronger it seems then when I first read some of your posts. Please don't call her dad names in front of her..that's not fair...but Love her and let her know you may be ready to date in the future and she will be the first to know...Keeep getting stronger, believe in yourself and who you are...try to find some time you and she can be honest, let her get her feelings out..and all you have to do is listen and understand she probanly wants what every kid whose parents are living seperatly wants..a family together again. You just have to let her know you hear her and what shes hoping for, and you are doing your best to get yourself together so when you do decide to date again
You will make the right decisions for BOTH of you...Good Luck and Peace to you..your friend..Midnight♥♥♥:wave:
 
Seems as if it's only "little girls" that feel this way?...(probably not)......I have boys, and I cannot even go to the store without one of them coming with me and they stick to me like glue....
 
rockin'robin said:
Seems as if it's only "little girls" that feel this way?...(probably not)......I have boys, and I cannot even go to the store without one of them coming with me and they stick to me like glue....
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I didn want either of my parents to date after the divorce. I did what I could to sabatoge their relationships and I suceeded twice. ooops!
 
What! The girl is only 7 years old! She does not need to know every detail !
She is missing her dad and and it has to be really hard on her not having her family together. Dixie you could your daughter that you want to spend time with her and need some time for yourself too and let your daughter know how much you and her father love her. I think the most importance a parent can do it made feel child safe and loved and that things will work out. I would not say anything bad about your child's dad in front of your daughter.
 
Next thing you know she will be asking the sales lady at the store where they keep the daddies... I know this from experience

My daughters have both, on a couple of occasions, tried pimping me out to guys their line: you got a mommy?

It's horrible! But just wait patiently and soon she will realize she wants you all to herself :) If all else fails we will let you know if she has posted you on any local dating websites teehee
 
blank canvas said:
Next thing you know she will be asking the sales lady at the store where they keep the daddies... I know this from experience

My daughters have both, on a couple of occasions, tried pimping me out to guys their line: you got a mommy?

It's horrible! But just wait patiently and soon she will realize she wants you all to herself :) If all else fails we will let you know if she has posted you on any local dating websites teehee
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:lol: Hope not! Dixie, just tell her you are not ready.
 
Thing of it is though is that her dad has been out of the picture completely since she was 4 months old. He has made no effort to make contact or to even pay child support. In short, he is a deadbeat.

What hurts is that her classmates have made fun of her for having a mom that lives with her grandparents. One girl even went so far as to say that we don't really have a home because we live with my parents. That hurt but I assume it was heard from an adult.

But like even now it's difficult because it seems like I am stuck and can't get out and be the parent I need to be for her - you know provide her with the home, food, clothing, etc. Not have to be dependent on my parents for that because I'm not financially stable and I as I approach 30, I feel like I will never be fully financially independent.

Because of this I feel like no one is taking a true interest in me. Like I lack in something that should be there but it's not. Because I lack, I cannot provide her a family that she wants.
 
That reason your daughter asked you to go out date guy. That way your daughter can have boys sneak in her bed. LOL!
 
Dixie said:
Because of this I feel like no one is taking a true interest in me. Like I lack in something that should be there but it's not. Because I lack, I cannot provide her a family that she wants.
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I think almost everyone feel lacking some way with dating/relationships...deaf/HoH or no.
 
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