Malisa's Story: Growing Up Transgender and a Grandfather's Pride

deafdyke

Well-Known Member
I dunno....
8 year old kid...really.....
There ARE genetic conditions that can and do cause transgender issues. While I do think you have to handle this as a "anything's possible" thing, and handle it by not enforcing strict gender roles (it's possible for example that the kid is just VERY gay, or may be going through some weird thinking that b/c they feel a certain way they can't be a boy or a girl) there are also conditions where the person may be XXY. There was also a medication called DES that produced a lot of trans guys.
 

dogmom

Well-Known Member
I remember reading about that DES - it was a drug given to U.S. women in the 1960's and 70's I thought to help women keep the baby if they were having difficult pregnancy - not to deliver early or something, wasn't it?
It's possible my mom was given it as she had a lot of problems. Her pregnancy was a surprise and she was between 35 and 40; they'd given up thinking that she would conceive.

Then it turned out that DES actually was quite harmful.....
 

caz12

New Member
sorry but 8yrs to young to do full transgender thing,,8yrs to young be anything other than a child...heavens sake my son played with his sisters barbi dolls and house it no makes him gay or transgender if he had been he got my support but not until he was 18..wait until puberty gone before making sweeping statements
 

DeafDucky

Well-Known Member
"full medical transition" for kids under the age of 18 don't happen and are generally aren't allowed anyway. Some teens I think will do hormone blockers that won't cause permanent damage. For the most part kids that young transition socially (and sometimes in a legal sense IF the parents can get the birth certificate changed).
 

caz12

New Member
afraid they do in Holland and sad to say both American and british parents take kids there have it done....I think it unethical
 

deafdyke

Well-Known Member
"full medical transition" for kids under the age of 18 don't happen and are generally aren't allowed anyway. Some teens I think will do hormone blockers that won't cause permanent damage. For the most part kids that young transition socially (and sometimes in a legal sense IF the parents can get the birth certificate changed).
And that's good..... Still it's hard to say if they're really trans at such a young age......I was reading the website of the UK charity, Mermaids and SO much of the issues and stories on there sounded like kids who basicly didn't fit into black and white gender roles...like boys who liked to dress up like princesses and play Barbies or girls who were major tomboys. Maybe the hardcore trans kids think that they can't feel a certain way, and if they DO it means they're the opposite sex.
 

DeafDucky

Well-Known Member
And that's good..... Still it's hard to say if they're really trans at such a young age......I was reading the website of the UK charity, Mermaids and SO much of the issues and stories on there sounded like kids who basicly didn't fit into black and white gender roles...like boys who liked to dress up like princesses and play Barbies or girls who were major tomboys. Maybe the hardcore trans kids think that they can't feel a certain way, and if they DO it means they're the opposite sex.
very true.

There are a lot more to the trans* than M-->F and F-->M- there's everything in between too and that's the part so many people don't understand-- the genderqueer or the agender group. It's as you described "kids who basically didn't fit into black and white gender roles...like boys who liked to dress up like princesses and play Barbies or girls who were major tomboys." but don't necessarily DO identify as the opposite sex.

Hmm Holland aka The Netherlands? I know there's a well known surgeon there but I have never heard of kids going there to do anything tbh...
 

caz12

New Member
saw some interviews one mother regreted having her 10year old son done..i honestly feel wait until 18 then as parent I give full support but not until then...I would make no big thing about kids sexuality until then if want play with barbi no problems or wear dress no comment be made.
they do a lot of things I disagree with in HOLLAND
 

deafdyke

Well-Known Member
very true.

There are a lot more to the trans* than M-->F and F-->M- there's everything in between too and that's the part so many people don't understand-- the genderqueer or the agender group. It's as you described "kids who basically didn't fit into black and white gender roles...like boys who liked to dress up like princesses and play Barbies or girls who were major tomboys." but don't necessarily DO identify as the opposite sex.

Hmm Holland aka The Netherlands? I know there's a well known surgeon there but I have never heard of kids going there to do anything tbh...
Exactly... the number of TRUE trans kids is proboly VERY small. I actually can't remember where I read this, but I remember that most kids referred for gender issues are just very gay or atypical in their gender expression.
Parents really need to be open minded when it comes to this issue. Especially since kids themselves may not realize that gender isn't black and white...heck ADULTS might not even realize that!
 

caz12

New Member
there are certain syndromes re adrenalin glands piturity I think I get that checked out before anything else...
to my horror in Bombay there section of town that has surpposedly transgender but they are gay and often have equipment cut off and not by a doctor it partly religious makes me cringe thinking about it...Still so much ignorence
 

deafdyke

Well-Known Member
So glad I haven't been jumped on...... On some feminist sites I've been attacked b/c I've pointed out that gender really isn't black and white.
It also seems to me that adult trans (when they want to be the opposite sex of what they are) may seem to be more about a larger picture of self hatred, then it is about transsexuality, at least in SOME cases....Note I said SOME. I've just noticed that there are SOME "trans" folks who seem to have MAJOR self hatred issues.....and they think by having SRS, that their issues will be resolved..... I swear to god, I'll never forget trying to talk to a f2m trans who a) was EXTREMELY personality disordered. Basicly a troll/nasty person and b) SHE flipped out when I called HER a woman....I got the vibe that with her it wasn't about gender preference but about internalizing our society's hatred of women...so SHE interpreted woman as an insult.....you could so tell that she had a lot of self hatred issues going on......
I know that was only one example, but I've also noticed some others as well....and note I said SOME.... Many other trans is legit......I'm just saying that the gender identity is very complex...even Kate Bornstien in Gender Outlaw says this!
 

Bottesini

Old Deaf Ranter
Premium Member
A kid that age really has no concept of what it means to be male or female.

If they just let him wear what he wants and act how he wants, that should be enough without reassigning sex prematurely.

As for the grandfather's pride, I think he is exploiting the child for publicity for himself.
 

dogmom

Well-Known Member
I do agree with wait and see about any SRS.

:ty: Botti for giving me another perspective about the grandfather..certainly possible-
 

caz12

New Member
So glad I haven't been jumped on...... On some feminist sites I've been attacked b/c I've pointed out that gender really isn't black and white.
It also seems to me that adult trans (when they want to be the opposite sex of what they are) may seem to be more about a larger picture of self hatred, then it is about transsexuality, at least in SOME cases....Note I said SOME. I've just noticed that there are SOME "trans" folks who seem to have MAJOR self hatred issues.....and they think by having SRS, that their issues will be resolved..... I swear to god, I'll never forget trying to talk to a f2m trans who a) was EXTREMELY personality disordered. Basicly a troll/nasty person and b) SHE flipped out when I called HER a woman....I got the vibe that with her it wasn't about gender preference but about internalizing our society's hatred of women...so SHE interpreted woman as an insult.....you could so tell that she had a lot of self hatred issues going on......
I know that was only one example, but I've also noticed some others as well....and note I said SOME.... Many other trans is legit......I'm just saying that the gender identity is very complex...even Kate Bornstien in Gender Outlaw says this!
dd you don't stand chance winning argument with them tried myself..
my husband came out of closet about ten years ago gay not trans he was unhappy man for years it comes down to being true to yourself therefore me and at right time so let this kid be a kid. Some feminists(or they think they are)can be very aggressive I don't think they understand feminism.iT in nature of many people put them selves in tribes to be different to point of fascist...The whole point is be part of society that is what they should strive for being trans is part of fabric of life and that is all.
fAMOUSE lady once said 'no such thing as society only the indivual' it not that black or white and Britain still suffering bc of thinking like this she incoperated sexual orientation in that famous sound bite.
in this case granpa just seeking cudo's at expence of child
 
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