Losing Hope

Rupert

New Member
Hi
Last year I developed mild tinnitus, with two sounds that I could only really hear in a quiet room. I was shocked to have noises in my head that I would probably have for life, but I soon got use to the tiinnitus, and got on with my life.
Roll forward 8 month, through medical negligence, stupidty/ ignorance on my part, and unbelievable bad luck (such as an RAF jet flying low over the house just as I went outside), and I now have 7 loud noises that I can hear over everything and everywhere and all the time. My marriage collpased, I had to give up my part-time phd, and I developed depression for the first time in my life. I also developed Eustacian Tube Dysfunction, TTS, and TMJ, and my hearing (perhaps because of the ETD and TMJ) is now continuing to decline without any external noise events; and, as my hearing has gone done, the tinnitus loudness has gone up and up.
I'm terrified that I will, and perhaps in the near future, be left with little or no hearing and x loud noises screeching in my head. I have always been pretty positive but now feel completely overwhelmed and unable to cope anymore. I went from a wife I loved, work I enjoyed, a life full of fun last year, to sitting with a head full of loud noises and severe depression.
Im sorry to be so gloomy and Im not sure what Im asking. I just wanted to share I guess. Anyhows, thanks for readung this post.
Kind regards
Rupert
 

Muse

Active Member
Hey Rupert, welcome to AD.

My heart goes out to you. Losing something you've had all your liife is hard. I would feel the same way if I lost my ASL.

I can't offer much, but just to let you know there is a thriving community with a lot of support for you. They've rebuilt entire lives around the transition and have actually leveraged it to their benefit. Either way, no matter what, you have my support.
 

MCB

Active Member
Rupert, with a wife like that, you are better off without. I have lived through some horrible reverses in my life. I fully agree with Muse, no matter how bad it gets, it can get better. As a Christian, I believe that we can grow and learn from adversity.
 

Mieke

Belgian ASL noob
I don't really have any big advice to offer. I can't begin to imagine what it feels like...

But I'm sure you will find people here that will support you.

My support, you have, even if just for letting your frustrating out.

*hug*
 

zephren

Active Member
Hi Rupert,

Welcome to AllDeaf.

I suggest looking for a support group or counseling specific for hearing loss/late deafened people. Connecting with others going through the same experience may help you feel less alone and lessen the depression. If you have lived as a hearing person most of you life, it is normal to go through a grieving process when suddenly deafened. Connecting with others can help you through this process.

You may also want to look for sign language classes in your area. This would give you alternative means of communication as well as open doors to being part of the local Deaf community.

Try to look at what you "can" do rather than what you can't. What you might find is as you explore deaf product options what was on your can't list is now a "can" with some minor adjustments.
 

Frisky Feline

Well-Known Member
Welcome.

I wish I couldn't give you any helpful information. Some tips that mentioned, seeking for a support group or kind of counseling. :? Maybe, just stick it around here, and read everything here in this forum. Checking facebook, and look for Deaf and Hard of Hearing that will lead you to find more common with other people who have similar experiences as yours. I hope they gives you better tips.

I was born Profoundly Deaf, and I sign to communicate all the way. so keep looking around here and facebook - type " deaf and hard of hearing" and many more to come.
 

Rupert

New Member
Hey Rupert, welcome to AD.

My heart goes out to you. Losing something you've had all your liife is hard. I would feel the same way if I lost my ASL.

I can't offer much, but just to let you know there is a thriving community with a lot of support for you. They've rebuilt entire lives around the transition and have actually leveraged it to their benefit. Either way, no matter what, you have my support.
Hi Muse
Thanks for your kind words and support.
best wishes
Rupert
 

Rupert

New Member
Rupert, with a wife like that, you are better off without. I have lived through some horrible reverses in my life. I fully agree with Muse, no matter how bad it gets, it can get better. As a Christian, I believe that we can grow and learn from adversity.
Hi MCB
Hope you're well. Thanks very much for your support. I'm sorryto hear that you have had some horrible times and I hope that things are going ok atm.
I didi kind of learn from the tinnitus when it was mild and even when it got quite severe. Now its so loud that its making it difficult to function. But, if it dosnt continue to get much worse, I hope that I will get more usd to it. atm, IDK.
best wishes
Rupert
 
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Rupert

New Member
I don't really have any big advice to offer. I can't begin to imagine what it feels like...

But I'm sure you will find people here that will support you.

My support, you have, even if just for letting your frustrating out.

*hug*
Thanks Mieke, its appreciated.
 

Rupert

New Member
Hi Rupert,

Welcome to AllDeaf.

I suggest looking for a support group or counseling specific for hearing loss/late deafened people. Connecting with others going through the same experience may help you feel less alone and lessen the depression. If you have lived as a hearing person most of you life, it is normal to go through a grieving process when suddenly deafened. Connecting with others can help you through this process.

You may also want to look for sign language classes in your area. This would give you alternative means of communication as well as open doors to being part of the local Deaf community.

Try to look at what you "can" do rather than what you can't. What you might find is as you explore deaf product options what was on your can't list is now a "can" with some minor adjustments.
Hi Zephren
Thanks for your kind words and good advice. I particularly like the idea of learning sign language and will look into, though I have never been that good at learming new languages. But will be nice all the same to connect with others.
best wishes
Rupert
 

Rupert

New Member
Welcome.

I wish I couldn't give you any helpful information. Some tips that mentioned, seeking for a support group or kind of counseling. :? Maybe, just stick it around here, and read everything here in this forum. Checking facebook, and look for Deaf and Hard of Hearing that will lead you to find more common with other people who have similar experiences as yours. I hope they gives you better tips.

I was born Profoundly Deaf, and I sign to communicate all the way. so keep looking around here and facebook - type " deaf and hard of hearing" and many more to come.
Thanks Frisky feline
Hope you are doing well. Support group sounds like a good idea. Though Ive kind of gone into myself atm. Self pity maybe. I just find it hard to think with such loud and unpleasant noises in my head. But I really appreciate your kind words and advice. It does help.
best wishes
Rupert
 

Rupert

New Member
HI ! https://www.ucsfhealth.org/conditions/tinnitus/treatment.html

I posted a link about treatment for tinnitus for you I hope it will give you some ideas for help with this. You could try wearing a mouth piece for TMJ while sleeping it will
help you sleep better . I have TMJ and need to wear mine every night .
hi Whatdidyousay
thanks for the link and hope you are well. And thanks for advice about TMJ. In fact, Ive got a maxilla specialist appointment soon and will ask them about te mouth piece.
Does your TMJ make your ears pop? Whenever I move my jaw, such as to speak, they pop, which is a bit worrying.
Thanks again
Rupert
 

Frisky Feline

Well-Known Member
Thanks Frisky feline
Hope you are doing well. Support group sounds like a good idea. Though Ive kind of gone into myself atm. Self pity maybe. I just find it hard to think with such loud and unpleasant noises in my head. But I really appreciate your kind words and advice. It does help.
best wishes
Rupert
Yea my hub was born profoundly Deaf. He started having bad tinnitus since he was a very young toddler. He is stuck with tinnitus for 24/7 for the rest of his life. Indeed, its very hard to deal with the tinnitus issue. Oh well.
 

whatdidyousay!

Well-Known Member
hi Whatdidyousay
thanks for the link and hope you are well. And thanks for advice about TMJ. In fact, Ive got a maxilla specialist appointment soon and will ask them about te mouth piece.
Does your TMJ make your ears pop? Whenever I move my jaw, such as to speak, they pop, which is a bit worrying.
Thanks again
Rupert
I get earaches and the ENT can't find anything wrong with my ears and said it my TMJ that doing this . I was told not to chew gum I don't anyway and to cut up my apples and hard veggies . Yeah I think it made my ears pop too . I ice my face a lot that help . The mouth piece will help relieve some of the pressure while you're sleeping and keep your teeth from grinding while sleeping too.
 
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