Living with a Hearing person.

Can a hearing person trully understand what it is like to be Deaf/HOH?

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nfosterit@IBM

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To all of you that visit this thread:
My name is nicholas and i am hearing. I am thinking about proposing to a deaf woman by the name of Carla. She has a cochlear implant and can read lips quite well. My question is, we are about to get an apartment together and i want her to be confortable and not have to depend on my all the time in the house. What can i do to make her life easier at home. In public i act as her interpreter but at home she depends on me for allot of things besides the phone (which i understand i have no choice but to take care of). I guess what im trying to ask is.......how do you live with a deaf person without making them feel bad about being deaf or sounding condesending to them????
 
I would think the big question would be: "Are you prepared to be a lifetime interpreter?" And given the amount of reliance she has on you (or at least the amount you *say* she has) could get stifling and restrictive quite quickly.

I'm not looking to be a "wet blanket", but these issues are the top reasons hear/deaf marriages fail.
 
First, I am a deaf woman married to a hearing man. Hearing/deaf relationships will work if both are willing to make it so.

It WILL fail if you let your future wife become dependent on you 100 percent. You will resent it, and so will she, too! Never, never enable her!

That's why you must be willing to talk with her openly about this. Allow her to have her say after you have had your say. Who else can you trust if not your own girlfriend?

"Honey, something very important has been bothering me for a while and I would like to talk with you about it...." *Honey nods* ".... I feel that we need to talk about setting our boundaries and eventually make agreements around them, so we both will be more fulfilled." You get the idea!

T'is obvious that you both need to set your own boundaries regarding this. Making agreements TOGETHER is a powerful way to do things smoothly. Every couple, hearing or deaf, blind or whatever - will always need to set boundaries and create agreements together or the relationship will be in trouble with some cracked eggshells to walk on.
 
relationship required basic you need - show support for her and she need support you. Care each other, understand communication, patient and yada yada.
 
it depend on hearing individual if they will love and understand what Deaf have problem with coversation.
 
true

true i understand what all of you are saying. And i do love and cherish HER not her HEARING or lack thereof. It makes is difficult sometimes and frusting but i will always love and cherish her. Which is why i am thinking of proposing to her this christmas. :jaw: :applause:
 
Sometime....

Depend on situations.. Some hearing people can understand some can't... there are few thing that hearing people really Can't understand....


I just believe that hearing/deaf relationship can work out if They are in willing to make it success with eachother...

I live with my hearing husband, 2 hearing children and baby on way! Do I depend on them ? Do they depend on me ? No they don't and I don't... I never forget I got soo mad and pissed off and told my son "tell her NO she can't tell you anymore and get a phone number" he wrote down a number and I called her thru the relay and said "Don't you ever dare to tell my son to tell his mommy that he is going to have surgery this coming wed. For god sake he is only 6 years old.. That child does NOT need to interpreter for anybody who can't hear phone most of all the surgery is for him. I should be told first not him! I will explain to him what he will go thru etc Got it ?" she apolized but I also informed to the surgeon doctor he was NOT pleased either and most of doctors now knows i prefer go by email from since that ever happen. No one want to make my son to tell me what is the plans either...My husband tend tell them my email or ask them to give him their email for me to reply back to them and also He would ask them for a telephone number that I could call back which It feels good for me to communicate that way to anybody so I wouldn't depend on my husband to do that way.. :)


Anyway I guess you can take my hint on how the relationship would work out great if you both communicate no problem, knowing his/her lifestyle and she/he know your lifestyle, etc.. including for medical reason, legal reason etc... then go for it. and good luck
 
I have had more hearing boyfriends after my high school.. I lived with two hearing guys one for 5 years and other one for 2 yrs... It wasnt that bad...
 
I am engaged to a hearing man. I don't depend on him a lot. I have my own textphone and my computer and the only thing I depend on him for is to take me into town when it is shopping day LOL He is my own persoanl taxi driver :lol:

Anne
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