Is There A Good Way To Respond As A Hearing Person When Someone Tells You They Are D/deaf?

whatdidyousay!

Well-Known Member
Have you tried telling them what they can do when you say that you're hoh.

I imagine them slowing down their talking speed would help and taking in the call in a less noisy room? If possible of course
Yes a numbers of times when on the phone , I will ask the person to talk slower and they start yelling at me ! This happened so many times I now just hang if I am having a hard time and wait for daughter to help made the call ,if I can't wait I call back and hope I get someone I can hear. I will tell the person I said " slower " so why are you yelling at me ?" and they yell some more. I think some hearing people will never get it !
 

Mieke

Belgian ASL noob
Yes a numbers of times when on the phone , I will ask the person to talk slower and they start yelling at me ! This happened so many times I now just hang if I am having a hard time and wait for daughter to help made the call ,if I can't wait I call back and hope I get someone I can hear. I will tell the person I said " slower " so why are you yelling at me ?" and they yell some more. I think some hearing people will never get it !
I will try to think about this next time Im on the phone with someone that doesnt understand me... :)
 

Mieke

Belgian ASL noob
Lol no, I will try to speak slower and more clear, which is what I would mostly do.

I'll more try not to be annoyed by it.

Not that anyone has ever told me they were hard of hearing on the phone.
 

whatdidyousay!

Well-Known Member
Lol no, I will try to speak slower and more clear, which is what I would mostly do.

I'll more try not to be annoyed by it.

Not that anyone has ever told me they were hard of hearing on the phone.
I only tell people this if I am trying to get some info I need and the person is talking a mile a minute and a lot time a person will have an accent which made it
a lot harder to understand them. LOL! that good I thought you meant yelling at people . :)
 

DeafDucky

Well-Known Member
Pfieuw, I wouldnt get beaten up :)

You don't strike me as an introvert...

In real life I tend to be. Online it's different. Friends I've met from online have said so lol.

Just weird- I have never had anyone yell at me on the phone (when I used it more often) after I said I was hard of hearing or deaf... Only once has somebody "yelled" at me in a louder voice- and that was right before one of my eye surgeries- yelled into the one aid I had on (took the other one off)...was a bit startled to care as I was about to be knocked out anyway.
 

Anij

Well-Known Member
In all cases an appropriate response could be something like "Oh, OK - how would be the best way for us to communicate, is this ok, or would you prefer writing things down/ text ?"
 

DeafNerdMommy

Well-Known Member
If you talk to someone in person do not, I repeat DO NOT over pronounce words. I hate when I tell people I read lips and they start doing weird things with their mouths.
 

Mieke

Belgian ASL noob
In all cases an appropriate response could be something like "Oh, OK - how would be the best way for us to communicate, is this ok, or would you prefer writing things down/ text ?"
If you talk to someone in person do not, I repeat DO NOT over pronounce words. I hate when I tell people I read lips and they start doing weird things with their mouths.
Thanks both, I will keep it in mind.
 

90sWizKid

Member
It really depends on the circumstance at which I tell them, really...some reactions such as "Oh, sorry, I'll speak louder" or "Oh, that's cool (like, no worries), I'll try and speak up" is perfect for me depending on where I am and what I am doing
 

whatdidyousay!

Well-Known Member
If you talk to someone in person do not, I repeat DO NOT over pronounce words. I hate when I tell people I read lips and they start doing weird things with their mouths.
OMG ! I hate that too. I know I have to be careful when trying to read someone lips , some people get very uptight when I do it. I was talking to a police once and told him that I looking at his face a lot b/c I am reading his lips . He said he knew this, I was so glad he realize what I was doing .
 

DeafDucky

Well-Known Member
I sometimes won't tell people I am reading their lips and so they think they have something in their teeth hahaha
LOL.

I almost never tell people I'm lipreading them (or very badly attempting to)... I'm sure they can tell that I look at them intently. Oddly enough when I do job interviews my eye contact sucks HORRIBLY.. I have no idea why- only time is when they're asking but when I go to answer I have trouble and cannot keep eye contact... :confused:.

Anyway- sometimes some do ask if I can.. I only say either "a little" or "not very well". I've never seen anyone become uncomfortable with me looking at them- that I've noticed. I still won't tell them because if I do, I'm afraid that they'll over do it. Telling them I'm deaf though seems less of a problem strangely.
 

Mieke

Belgian ASL noob
LOL.

I almost never tell people I'm lipreading them (or very badly attempting to)... I'm sure they can tell that I look at them intently. Oddly enough when I do job interviews my eye contact sucks HORRIBLY.. I have no idea why- only time is when they're asking but when I go to answer I have trouble and cannot keep eye contact... :confused:.

Anyway- sometimes some do ask if I can.. I only say either "a little" or "not very well". I've never seen anyone become uncomfortable with me looking at them- that I've noticed. I still won't tell them because if I do, I'm afraid that they'll over do it. Telling them I'm deaf though seems less of a problem strangely.
Probably just because it's a job interview, there are a lot of people who are a bit shy in job interviews.

And as for lipreading, maybe you are very good at doing it subtle. I think I would also feel slightly uncomfortable knowing someone is trying to lipread what Im saying, would make me question if Im pronounciating decently. Specially if it would be in Flemish, since I know I sometimes talk to fast and may talk to unclear because of that.
 
Last edited:

AlleyCat

Well-Known Member
I so hate it when someone slows down or over-enunciates what they're saying. I'm very used to lip reading people speaking normally, so when they do one or both of the two I mentioned, it makes it that much harder. I do understand this doesn't apply to the phone (which I can't use anyway, too deaf for that).
 

Jane B.

Well-Known Member
I so hate it when someone slows down or over-enunciates what they're saying. I'm very used to lip reading people speaking normally, so when they do one or both of the two I mentioned, it makes it that much harder. I do understand this doesn't apply to the phone (which I can't use anyway, too deaf for that).
Don't forget there are captioning apps for cell phones. And some seem to think I am way, way behind but as someone that does not sign I still really like my state (Illinois) relay with a full sized TTY and the VCO feature on my landline.
 

AlleyCat

Well-Known Member
Well I don't use a tty anymore, haven't in years. But the captioning for the phone has nothing to do with lip reading or speaking slower, which is what this thread has turned into, and is slow as hell anyway (the captioning). I gave up my captel years ago. Kept getting hung up on. I either make very few calls via online relay or just have my hearing husband do it. :)
 

whatdidyousay!

Well-Known Member
I sometimes won't tell people I am reading their lips and so they think they have something in their teeth hahaha
LOL ! I told the police this b/c I wanted to made sure he knew I was HOH . I was out walking my dog and if I see police and he not busy I will say 'Hi' to him or her.
When I was going to school in Maine we had an exchange student she came from Iran and I had a very hard understanding her and was reading her lips a lot . I find out this was considered to be very rude to do in her country ,looking at person's face while talking to them .
 

DeafNerdMommy

Well-Known Member
When I was going to school in Maine we had an exchange student she came from Iran and I had a very hard understanding her and was reading her lips a lot . I find out this was considered to be very rude to do in her country ,looking at person's face while talking to them .
That is crazy but I can that being considered rude.
 
Top