I'm boring

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MattyinAus

New Member
Yep prove that. I don't have a bad attitude. Every time I'm happy I easily get a bad result from everything because everything in my life is way overestimated. So if I underestimate my life, I wouldn't be at uni at all. How surprised I am, nearly finished on 4 year degree and even going to US by a job acceptance. I did not expected that because I always get discriminated by my hearing loss.

Same for social environment. Uni social life for me is shitty as hell. I'm poor and can't make friends which I define friends as talking with, hang out with and 'include with'. Not fake Facebook friends like that or people pretend to accept you during at uni classes.

I had enough with this shitty life. More of expecting to have fun and awesome time in US but until I found out Park City is a party place, people going to live as party 24/7 houses and stuff very similar to college. Dirty houses makes me feel death. Now what!? Not again, leaving uni for place very similar to college lifestyle!? Jesus hell christ! When life gets easier for me since it has been way too hard all the time. Like it is hard to get a person to mention and include you to hang out without being faking and pretending? Now I am expecting to have very extremely hard time in America because of party places. On our facebook group page for the workers of the resort for this season, their facebook profiles have extremely large amounts of friends and heavy photo tags. Like over 1000 a piece. Im not comfortable with that because it define their life as party animals and people accept them easily.

Now how I am going to feel, sitting at a house in middle of party while being sober and very fit makes me feel so uncomfortable. I can't make friends like that because they are drunk same here at colleges on campus as well. Everywhere I go places where people drinks including my family go to clubs and pubs. I never feel comfortable and couldn't make friends and even girlfriends. Same shit happens here at uni for 4 solid years. My future looks so bleak and boring as hell.

Looks like I am going to be lonely traveller, world record bestest innocent virgin and that shit happens in movies and that.
 

green427

Active Member
......... their facebook profiles have extremely large amounts of friends and heavy photo tags. Like over 1000 a piece............sitting at a house in middle of party while being sober and very fit makes me feel so uncomfortable. I can't make friends like that because they are drunk same here at colleges on campus as well. .................. My future looks so bleak and boring as hell.
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1) The number of facebook friends is not necessarily an indicator of someone being a likeable person.

2) I was like you, tried drinking in college, realized that drunks are idiots and assholes, so I avoided them. Alcohol brings out peoples' suppressed 'true personalities'. Instead of partying, I worked. I am a workaholic, and working is my way of feeling like I am somebody. I had three jobs while in college. Having some cash to spend is a nice thing. Working is a good way to keep your mind off being depressed.

3) Trust me on this one. The 'cool' kids that you see around you today are going to be miserable later in life. Your problem is that you are very smart, much smarter than many of your peers. You probably will be a better employee than others, and employers will see that, and demand your expertise. There is a good chance those 'cool' kids will be working for you one day.

Don't be too concerned about the virginity thing. The right woman will come by, just don't look for her.
 

Reba

Retired Terp
Premium Member
You spend way too much time thinking about yourself.

You need to think about other people and the world around you. So an interest in other people's problems. It's not all about you.

Volunteer at an animal shelter or some other helping organization.

Self-pity will never gain you any true friends.
 

dereksbicycles

Active Member
No girlfriend in college or high school for me. And now, I've a woman who is begging me to get her a ring. I'm 35 now. I wish I would have been married long time ago, but roll the dice. Have fun, ok?
 

caz12

New Member
matty sound like you want a pity party..derek marriage not what it cracked up to be take my experinced word for it
 

LoveBlue

Well-Known Member
matty sound like you want a pity party..derek marriage not what it cracked up to be take my experinced word for it
Sorry you're in a bad marriage, but that doesn't mean all marriages are bad.

My husband & I were just shy of CELEBRATING out 25th anniversary when he died. Those last years were hard on us due to his health problems and our financial problems (which were not due to medical bills as we both had good health ins), but we were still happily married.

My parents were married over 60 years when my dad died. My mom died 9 months later of a broken heart.

True there are many "bad" marriages but I would not discourage someone from marrying unless I knew the couple personally and saw something that looked like it could be harmful to one or both of them if they did marry (eg signs of any type of abusive personality).
 

LoveBlue

Well-Known Member
Marty, I was in my mid 20's when I met my future husband & was just shy of 29 when I married him. He was 35 when we married. It was the 1st & only marriage for both of us.
I had only dated a few times during my early to mid 20's but wasn't looking for a husband because I believed in finding a friend first who I would at some point love more than just as a friend. And that is what happened for me. Luckily for me he loved me in the same way (well before I loved him).
I also knew that I needed to get out @ do things I enjoyed doing so that I would meet guys w/o the sole intent of meeting guys.
 

drphil

Active Member
Hi Matty: did you consider the alternate to your life? Seems to be a real "quiet time for eternity"-where?

Not to be too philosophical/theological-of course.

Cheers mate!
 

rockin'robin

Well-Known Member
You might be surprised....even shocked....at the number of people all over the world that are Lonely and desire someone to Love....And the heartbreak in their quest to find that "perfect" mate....Some people set their standards too high....then some too Low....Some are not good judges of Character...and some just think what the hell,...and marry the first person they can find....

It takes time to get it right!....And time is on your side, Matty, you're very young....I have 3 sons and I've told all of them to take your time....find something you like to do (such as hobbies), etc., and hoping they won't even think about getting married before age 30, or even having a "steady" girlfriend....Play the field.

So stop worrying so much about yourself...sooner or later it will all fall into place. And remember....the future is not ours to see!....What will be, will be.
 

CSign

New Member
You spend way too much time thinking about yourself.

You need to think about other people and the world around you. So an interest in other people's problems. It's not all about you.

Volunteer at an animal shelter or some other helping organization.

Self-pity will never gain you any true friends.
Those are some great suggestions Reba.
 

caz12

New Member
dont go where people drink then,if you dont like to see it,I not understanding what you looking for apart from pity and i dont do pity parties..you depressed seek right help,as stated find hobbies or do voluntary work
people seem to judge people by amount of friends people have but the truth is most of us have one to three good friends who we share everything with the rest are aquaintents so dont assume these people have social life they say, or if they only come to life with drink then you got feel sorry for them and not yourself.
 

MattyinAus

New Member
I'm not being negative or self pity at all. I was telling the truth and what is happening based on my observations and perspectives. Its factual and true story.

I have to be sorry to be myself. I have been being myself for very long time after since I realized that so many people going to become the society follower. Everyone else where I go like uni classes, colleges, my family and that has similar social background and acceptance. It is very same for me doing same way, same things and that with same options trying to figure out what is wrong with me.

Lot of people can tell there something wrong with me. That is aspie and hearing loss that they can blame me for. I'm not looking forward to meet those American women meeting me up while being in US because it seems shallow for them following an aussie guy....That is one method to hurt my heart because they just want money and sex. How cruel and stupid. When I find proper group of friends and one lady? I thought I'm not wasting my time? I'm so confused and frustrated of something suppose to happen but it doesn't.

I always see other people doing their society very well. After meeting group of people at club or pub after the night of drinking they become new group of friends. Eventually they hang out doing things sober like going to day trip to islands, rivers, movies and that whatever you can think of. So the point here, when I am there initially (I was there to be honest) I am always being excluded easily. I was like what the feck? I thought I am fit with you people like the way we hang out last night and excluded me from hang out next day with everyone. I'm so confused why people exclude me so often. I never been negative or self pity of what you think on this site which I never intend to become one. I haven't been depressed since March this year!

So I'm confused why exclude me. So many people have same result and response. Always exclude me. Being excluding me from social world does not help me to find a girlfriend. Girlfriend comes from being friends as first like caz said. Friends first. Hence, having trouble finding friends will put my life in jeopardy. I have been doing hobbies every single week and always attend to classes at uni because I am looking forward to have a chat with people because I'm lonely all the time on weekends.

In summary to be clear:
1. I won't get a girlfriend and marriage if I don't have proper group of friends.
2. Facebook defines life because amount of friends, number of photo tags, people post on your wall, seeing excitement of people commenting me etc etc. I have poor results. I never hurt anyone, but they hurt me instead.
3. Going to USA is freaking scary to me because I fear of future troubles at Park City where parties of college like lifestyle.
 

MushyCookies

New Member
When you spoke to me on here, you made a few comments that made me uncomfortable. Not every girls that try to talk to you are looking for "something" some just want FRIENDS . My advice is to just lay off the creepiness toward the girls. You are really a nice guy but you are trying too hard. You think too much about what is going on with OTHER people's lives. Why care so much about them? Their lives are not your business. Don't think about everything to the point where it is called "Obsession" chill out.

That may be a bit harsh but that is my thought on it.
 

drphil

Active Member
Matt: your observation re: Facebook-consideration back a few years BEFORE it existed. Did people have friends?

aside: I have never been part of Facebook- and have no intention of joining Real friends can email. Correct Matt?

As for your observation #3- how much will you "carry" from Australia?
 

MattyinAus

New Member
I'm confused again. What abusive negative and cruel words I have said to you? I don't even said anything that hurt you at all. I'm ain't aiming to become a creep to women at all. How the feck I am doing that? I'm not doing that! I'm not becoming like other guys who do the shit! Jesus fecking hell! Why women always so against me these days making me look like a tagged murderer from tv? I haven't done anything wrong :s I'm so confused :S :S

People have friends long before Facebook, look at 1980s stuff. Joining real friends can email? Huh I don't understand that, could you rephrase that please? Again how much will you carry from Australia? I don't understand this at all. Carry of what? My luggage? My attitude? :S
 

MushyCookies

New Member
You did not say anything abusive or cruel toward me, Matty. You asked me if i thought Aussies guys were hot after i asked how your day were.. It made me feel like you only have one intention with all the ladies. I am sorry but i am really am not into talking to one track minded guys.
 

MattyinAus

New Member
Bloody hell! When women can understand me!?! Far out! This sounds worse than level 15 on doom! I just asking a simple question that is all. It got nothing to do with me! Jesus fecking hell! Stop making me look like a sicko label. I deleted you Facebook because I'm not comfortable with women harassing, labelling, lying and disgusting bitch to me.

Listen to this: STOP BEING LIKE THEM!
 

MushyCookies

New Member
Whoa i don't know what the f*** your problem is but i am glad you deleted me now. I don't need people like that talking to me. GOOD LUCK on life. You really need it now that i have seen how you react to the truth.
 
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