If Deaf never had sign language, would you hearing still want to know us??

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deafgam

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I often wonder.....many hearing say they love the Deaf. But is it the signs the hearing love? if we deaf never had a language, would hearing still want be our friends, help us, want to know us, ????


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I am hearing. I think to suggest that we hearing people only like the appeal of signing, is like saying someone only like a guy from Paris b/c he has a French Accent and speaks French. That sort of thinking basically says that we are shallow people that don't really love people who do things differently than us. I don't exclusively like Deaf persons, but I have had friends and acquaintances in the deaf community, so I wouldn't be against the idea of finding "Mr. Right" in the deaf community. Just like I wouldn't be against the idea of "Mr. Right" was from any other community that I am not a part of. I don't care how a guy communicates, as long as he looks decent, has a job/career that can support a family, loves kids/wants more kids(b/c I already have a 6 year old daughter), and knows how to/ will respect and treat me and my daughter the way we should be treated. To be honest, I have found nothing but dirt-bags in the "hearing world" who have been from all communities and walks of life. So please don't insinuate that we "hearing people" could only be interested in "deaf people" b/c of ASL. That is also insulting to people who are deaf, b/c that implies that the only reason a "hearing person" could be interested in a "deaf person" is b/c they want to sign. That is insulting on any level.

If anyone has any comments, please do so.
 
From learning the manual alphabet as a child in elementary school, I learned there were people in the world who were deaf. Before that, I had no idea differences like this occurred. So for me, in a way, the language brought me to care about the people using it. In another way, it was the people who brought me to learn the language. I have always seen people in general as equals, no matter the differences. I also feel that everyone should be able to communicate with another person. I am a visual person, so signing is easier for me to learn and comprehend than other foreign languages which I struggle with. It's not just the language that I like, it's also the tightness of the communities and families and the supportive network that I enjoy.
I have always been a bit of a social butterfly. I love meeting new people and learning the cultural differences between myself and others. There are people in the world that I will get along with, and there are people I will not. That is just human nature. Another part of human nature is to search for people that are similar to yourself, and have similar values. Of course, it is easier to learn about another person if you learn their language.
I agree with Sweet_Candice86 that I could find "Mr. Right" anywhere, and as long as there is equal respect and loyalty in the relationship, I don't care what type of communication is used, what color their skin is, or their social status.
So in response to the original question, I would still want to get to know a person "without a language" just as much as I want to get to know someone "with a language".
 
deafgam said:
I often wonder.....many hearing say they love the Deaf. But is it the signs the hearing love? if we deaf never had a language, would hearing still want be our friends, help us, want to know us, ????


Posted from Alldeaf.com App for Android
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i think you got good point
 
deafgam said:
I often wonder.....many hearing say they love the Deaf. But is it the signs the hearing love? if we deaf never had a language, would hearing still want be our friends, help us, want to know us, ????


Posted from Alldeaf.com App for Android
Click to expand...

It's just the exotic aspect. When the novelty wears off either way, ASL or no language, they will be gone.
 
So if deaf people had no sign language and always had to write notes, would I still actively want a friend who is deaf?

I think so.

My only requirement for friends is that they are easy to contact (e-mail, live close, meet regularly) and share at least one of my interests (drawing, gaming, teaching, grad school, working out, IT, finding a job, family.. etc).

What languages they know is nice, but I don't rely on friends to teach me a language, because it puts the friend in an awkward position. I wouldn't want to teach English to a friend just because they asked for it, and I don't expect friends to teach me a language unless they want to. Plus I spent my whole childhood translating and interpreting for my parents. It's nice to not be under that stress anymore.

Sometimes people want to learn a language but they are unaware of what is the most appropriate way to learn: Asking me to give them a lesson is often inappropriate for their level. If they want to learn a language so bad, they should take a class or hit the books -- something more proactive than begging for lessons!
 
deafgam said:
I often wonder.....many hearing say they love the Deaf. But is it the signs the hearing love? if we deaf never had a language, would hearing still want be our friends, help us, want to know us, ????


Posted from Alldeaf.com App for Android
Click to expand...



I am not sure if the hearing person love the Deaf, but the hearing person may try to make the Deaf be able to hear like CIs or hearing aids and want them to talk without signing ASL.

I don't know if the hearing person want to sign if the hearing person really care about the deaf person and just accept the deaf person the way he or she is. The hearing person can not change the deaf person. Just have to accept that. If you don't want to communicate in signs, then there will be problem in the relationship.

I know most hearing people who are interest in the Deaf people who sign ASL or any other sign language are mostly in romantically or living the dream of being with the deaf person but don't want the deaf person to sign. It is really complicate to explain. We need sign language just like ASL to communicate so that we can understand more clearly than not know what is going on.

We might as well gesture more than what the hearing person ask for. :roll:
 
Bebonang said:
I know most hearing people who are interest in the Deaf people who sign ASL or any other sign language are mostly in romantically or living the dream of being with the deaf person but don't want the deaf person to sign. It is really complicate to explain. We need sign language just like ASL to communicate so that we can understand more clearly than not know what is going on.

We might as well gesture more than what the hearing person ask for. :roll:
Click to expand...

This comment made me very sad. I know that does happen at times, but I would have to say that hearing person isn't worth being with in the first place. If they truly, genuinely, cared about a person, they would learn their language. They would try to become a part of that person's life.
All relationships have there ups and downs, but that is a huge downfall. I couldn't be with a person that tried to make me into something I'm not. I also would hate having to watch a friend go through that situation.
 
Yes, I would still love the Deaf if they didn't have sign language. I have been trying to learn sign language but I find that the Deaf in my area are very protective of themselves and their culture. I guess I can understand how they could come to that place. However, how can us hearing/HOH people make friends if they don't want to talk to us or show us their real language. A lot of people say they're learning ASL but the truth is they are trying to memorize a sign language dictionary. ASL can't be learned or used properly until it is taught by the Deaf themselves and I'm not speaking of only classroom situations, but life situations. I'm about ready to give up on trying to learn. How I long for a Deaf friend who believes in sharing her language.
 
Shimo, I strongly disagree with you. I know next to nothing about languages, but I do know that taking classes only will NOT teach a language. It must be learned from speaking it. I am hearing and now losing my hearing. Years ago, I had regular activities with Deaf through my church. They accepted me and were thrilled that I was trying to learn their language. They were patient and corrected me when needed. I find Deaf people to be refreshingly straightforward. I like that. Hearing people tend to pick and choose words that often color the statement with the wrong color and sometimes, the truth is lost. Not so with the Deaf. If you're fat, they'll say so. Hearing people use phrases like "life's been good to you", etc.

I've had many classes, college and Deaf Service Center. I do not have access to a community of Deaf now and therefore my abilities are limited to dictionary word list instead of the beautful conceptual language the Deaf speak.

Anyway, I can understand that you wish not to be a teacher, and that's ok, but hearing people need to interact with the Deaf if they wish to learn ASL.
 
Wirelessly posted

I think that the main point of this thread is that Hearing people more often than not see the use of Sign Language and fall 'in love' with it because it is something new and novel. They try it out for a while, but it soon wears off, because the fun of it dies out. The important thing to remember is Sign language is a vital part of who a Deaf person is. So many times hearing people come in and try out a few signs, then when they get overwhelmed with the speed of full-on conversation, they tune out and sit in a corner and read, or they demand that someone needs to take time out to teach them new signs. When you enter the Deaf community as a hearing person, you are no longer a part of the dominant culture, you become the minority. Most hearing people don't last long due to this. The proper way to learn new signs is to take interest in the person and the conversation and observe. That way you pick up new signs within the correct context and grammar of a conversation. You contribute to the conversation with the signs you do know, even if you only throw in one word here and there. That's how children learn. You learn not just signs but cultural Do's and Don'ts. When you learn to respect our ways, then you will find acceptance.
 
Brenda9995 said:
hearing people need to interact with the Deaf if they wish to learn ASL.
Click to expand...
Yes, I agree language has to be used to be mastered.

But in the very beginning, immersion can be inappropriate, and it can lead to burn-out, confusion, and needless frustration.

Some people can learn a new language very quickly, but I've seen that most new language learners want to start really slowly:

A whole month or more just learning the new writing system / alphabet, while learning about basic cultural aspects.

Another month just on basic stuff like "My name is.." and "This is a..." and common phrases "hello" "thank you" "sorry". Still not enough to hold a conversation.

Another month or two to learn the placement (grammar) of negation, modifiers, adjectives, verbs.

I'm not saying that newbies should avoid immersion situations, but that newbies should not rely on immersion to be their sole source of knowledge.

I think students have to make some personal effort to learn the language, be it take a class, get a tutor, or set aside time each day or week to study from a textbook or spend time trying to read books or watch&summarize TV in the target language.


I guess I see language acquisition like learning to ride a motorcycle for the first time:

You could go to a dealer, buy a motorcycle, join a motorcycle club, and hope that by hanging out with the motorcycle club that you can become a competent rider. Someone might be nice enough to teach you about the throttle and the shifter, but there's a chance that you may fall over, run out of gas, or be left behind and treated like an outsider. It may be that you have never rode a bicycle and do not have a sense of balance.
Some things are not as simple as they look!

OR:

You could research different kinds of bikes, take a class where they can teach you how to ride and basic motorcycle care and be informed of laws about riding a motorcycle (wearing a helmet, how to park..etc). It may turn out that you don't have the ability to ride a bicycle, so that you have to try extra hard, or give up.
Also in class, you may meet other people who share your interest in motorcycles, and you can help each other out and learn from each other because there are mistakes that are common for newbies.


They are two different ways to learn, but one has a very steep learning curve, and one has a fairly flat learning curve. I think people are more receptive to learn when the material is broken ahead of time down into chunks they can handle.
 
BecLak said:
Wirelessly posted

I think that the main point of this thread is that Hearing people more often than not see the use of Sign Language and fall 'in love' with it because it is something new and novel. They try it out for a while, but it soon wears off, because the fun of it dies out. The important thing to remember is Sign language is a vital part of who a Deaf person is. So many times hearing people come in and try out a few signs, then when they get overwhelmed with the speed of full-on conversation, they tune out and sit in a corner and read, or they demand that someone needs to take time out to teach them new signs. When you enter the Deaf community as a hearing person, you are no longer a part of the dominant culture, you become the minority. Most hearing people don't last long due to this. The proper way to learn new signs is to take interest in the person and the conversation and observe. That way you pick up new signs within the correct context and grammar of a conversation. You contribute to the conversation with the signs you do know, even if you only throw in one word here and there. That's how children learn. You learn not just signs but cultural Do's and Don'ts. When you learn to respect our ways, then you will find acceptance.
Click to expand...

Beautifully worded and Thoughtful comment. Thank you!
 
If we never learn sign language, hearing people will treat us like an animal in zoo! That's what is really happened long time ago before sign language was introduced in 19th century. So your question is really moot and should be grateful that we no longer stay in a locked room 24/7 and act like wild animals.

deafgam said:
I often wonder.....many hearing say they love the Deaf. But is it the signs the hearing love? if we deaf never had a language, would hearing still want be our friends, help us, want to know us, ????


Posted from Alldeaf.com App for Android
Click to expand...
 
I would love to still learn about the culture of the Deaf community if there wasn't sign language.
 
There are a lot of deaf ferrets and cats that have no language skills, but we love them the same.

On a more serious note, I would suggest that if someone wants to learn ASL to find ASL clubs or maybe similar interest. What if I found someone who liked Jeep just like me? They want to learn ASL not because ASL is hip and flashy, but rather to share interest in Jeep with me.
 
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