I am responsible for my son's hearing loss.

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ENT Dr told me that he may born with SNHL, or for unknown reason. I don't think so. You know they don't spend more that 10 mins with you.

My son had big tonsil and adenoid, we were wondered if they could be removed last summer. Our ENT Dr said not necessary. Then last fall, he had bad middle infection (OME), caused moderately severe conductive hearing loss in left ear, and mild to moderately sever conductive hearing loss. The audiometry also showed his BC threshold has a slop at high frequency. (research showed that OME could cause BC slop when the inner ear is not damaged by OME yet).

The original plan was to add tubes in April this year. Unfortunately, then he suggested to take a sleep test and see if needed, tubes and tonsil/adenoid can be done at the same time. We didn't get sleep test result until April thus the surgery were pushed to July.

I was always under the impression that the OME won't cause any damage to SNHL. I trusted my ENT. Unfortunately he was wrong.

I did a lot research recently, OME can cause SHNL, the ration is really high, almost 50% OME patients will develop some SHNL, especially high frequency. This is exactly what has happened to my kid. The fluid stayed in his middle ear too long, at least 8 months, which caused his SHNL (2K: 25dbHL, 4K: 25dBHL).

In additional to that, 6 months after the tubes are inserted (tubes are still there), he still has air bone gap around 10-15DB ad all frequency.

We SHOULD HAVE REMOVED his tonsil/adenoid last summer, or should have the tubes inserted earlier.

I am wondering if there is anyway to reduce the 15db air bone gap? or it will disappear after the tubes are gone? Based on my research, OME could also cause permanent conductive hearing loss. I don't really want to see that.

Massachusetts Eye and Ear seems to be the top one hospital for ENT. Dr Daniel J Lee is a pediatric otology and neuritiology. I am thinking I probably should visit him and see if he can do anything. Does anyone know what is the cost for ear surgery in US? I don't have any insurance in US, so I have to pay myself.

My dear son, IT IS MY FAULT. I AM really sorry.
 
new said:
ENT Dr told me that he may born with SNHL, or for unknown reason. I don't think so. You know they don't spend more that 10 mins with you.

My son had big tonsil and adenoid, we were wondered if they could be removed last summer. Our ENT Dr said not necessary. Then last fall, he had bad middle infection (OME), caused moderately severe conductive hearing loss in left ear, and mild to moderately sever conductive hearing loss. The audiometry also showed his BC threshold has a slop at high frequency. (research showed that OME could cause BC slop when the inner ear is not damaged by OME yet).

The original plan was to add tubes in April this year. Unfortunately, then he suggested to take a sleep test and see if needed, tubes and tonsil/adenoid can be done at the same time. We didn't get sleep test result until April thus the surgery were pushed to July.

I was always under the impression that the OME won't cause any damage to SNHL. I trusted my ENT. Unfortunately he was wrong.

I did a lot research recently, OME can cause SHNL, the ration is really high, almost 50% OME patients will develop some SHNL, especially high frequency. This is exactly what has happened to my kid. The fluid stayed in his middle ear too long, at least 8 months, which caused his SHNL (2K: 25dbHL, 4K: 25dBHL).

In additional to that, 6 months after the tubes are inserted (tubes are still there), he still has air bone gap around 10-15DB ad all frequency.

We SHOULD HAVE REMOVED his tonsil/adenoid last summer, or should have the tubes inserted earlier.

I am wondering if there is anyway to reduce the 15db air bone gap? or it will disappear after the tubes are gone? Based on my research, OME could also cause permanent conductive hearing loss. I don't really want to see that.

Massachusetts Eye and Ear seems to be the top one hospital for ENT. Dr Daniel J Lee is a pediatric otology and neuritiology. I am thinking I probably should visit him and see if he can do anything. Does anyone know what is the cost for ear surgery in US? I don't have any insurance in US, so I have to pay myself.

My dear son, IT IS MY FAULT. I AM really sorry.
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Get a grip, lady. Your son's hearing "loss" is nothing. 2K: 25dbHL, 4K: 25dBHL? Sheesh, I wish I had those numbers.

I feel sorry for your son. Not because of his VERY mild hearing loss, but because he has a mom who thinks any little thing wrong with him is the end of the world.
 
You should hire a lawyer and take the ENT guy to court. Jury could give you millions of dollars
 
LoveBlue said:
Get a grip, lady. Your son's hearing "loss" is nothing. 2K: 25dbHL, 4K: 25dBHL? Sheesh, I wish I had those numbers.

I feel sorry for your son. Not because of his VERY mild hearing loss, but because he has a mom who thinks any little thing wrong with him is the end of the world.
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that numbers are BC. The AC is 40 at 2KHz, 30 at 1KHz
I would be happy if ACs were under 25.
 
new said:
that numbers are BC. The AC is 40 at 2KHz, 30 at 1KHz
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And I wish I had those numbers too.

Hearing loss is not the end of the world. He is not a freak. He will do fine...if his mom will get a grip on her emotions.
 
LoveBlue said:
And I wish I had those numbers too.

Hearing loss is not the end of the world. He is not a freak. He will do fine...if his mom will get a grip on her emotions.
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Thanks, I am trying to... haven't had a good sleep for 3 weeks now.
 
I wish I could share my thoughts with you. I can be honest with you. The way you talk in your post like you are looking down at Deafies people like they are useless. BUT i dont take the way your feeling too personally at all. How about starting to look for postive sides such as finding some good classes for your son, finding something that your son can enjoy, and finding a group that he can enjoy instead of taking all of your fault on yourself and feel sorry for your son, then son will feel failure not to meet your needs or cant able to please you at all.
 
I would have to agree with other posts. You need to take a step back before trying to change anything here. You have to weigh the risks.

Your son may be able to learn fine with this amount of hearing. For me, learning would be the deciding factor.

You did not cause your son's hearing loss. If you feel the doctor was negligent, you can peruse legal action. I don't think you would get millions for it, but you might get compensation.
 
I have about a 70% hearing lost and I never blamed my mom for it . If you had taken an ice pick and poke it in both of your son ears then yes you would be the cause of his hearing lost. You're teaching your son to feel there is something terribly wrong with b/c he has a hearing lost. That is going to cause more harm than anything else.
 
The hardest part about making decisions about our children is when they don't turn out how we want them to. But the reality is even the right decision can end this way. As the others have pointed out, you did not do this and your son is the same awesome person he has always been.
 
Those are very mild numbers. I should say I'm at 115 db loss and don't mind it one bit. (True story.) Does that give you perspective?

Having said that, I understand all too well a parent's emotions when something isn't what they expected. Heck, that applies to anybody, parent or not. I think in time your emotions will reel in and you'll adjust to whatever changes need to be made at that hearing loss level.
 
I wonder why most parents even the hearing authorities always wanted their disabilities children (deaf, hard of hearing, blind, CP, losing their limbs (handicapped) or mental challenged, etc. who have to live with, not you, when trying to make them whole or become like them?

It just made me cringe every time my mother tried to get me to do what she wanted me to be instead of listening to my gestures (never learned to sign ASL when I was a baby and onward up to mainstream high school until I graduated from high school, finally learned how to sign ASL) and my needs. Being deaf especially with my hearing aid was not going to work or get "fix" every time hearing people thought it brought miracle. Ha! No one can "fix" the hearing loss, not even CI. No cure. You have to accept your son's hearing loss. There is nothing you can do about his hearing loss. Your son is lucky to have a mild hearing loss. He can hear with the help of hearing aid(s) and probably will be able to understand the words as he was hearing before he lost his hearing.

We all have different degrees of hearing loss. Mine is severe to profound hearing loss much worse than your son's hearing loss. So please, don't pity yourself and your son over it. If you can not accept him for his hearing loss, then you will probably lose him if he get frustrated and angry for not being able to get accommodate his needs to understand hearing people and to be with deaf and hard of hearing people. He can make his choice what he want to do with his life so listen to him by observing his gestures. I hope you can help him being who he is as Hard Of Hearing (HOH) person. So don't send him negative vibes that his hearing loss is bad or make him feel ashamed of his hearing loss. This is not the way to do that to your child. Think positive and learn to accept him as he is.

I watched a movie about a blind man since he was very young kid. His father did not accept him as a blind person so he left the house or rather he walked away from his own son. Then he got eyes surgery for him to be able to see, but later then the eyes were not doing good at all. Before he went blind again, he went to see his father about it and at first his father was happy that his son can see but learned the news that his son would not be able to see and going blind again. His father was disappointed and you guess it, walked away from his son. He is still not able to accept his son for his blindness. So that was negative attitude that the father gave him. This is sad. You just can not cure or "fix" disability. Just be happy that you have a healthy son. I have spoken. :(
 
Thank you all for your help.
I think I have got mental issues.
 
new said:
Thank you all for your help.
I think I have got mental issues.
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I think is has more to do with not being very well informed about deaf and hoh people . You should find a good audi that will help you understand your son is fine he just does not hear as good as other people. There is so much new technology today to help your son you should looking into this to help him . Enjoy having fun with your son and taking him out to hear new sounds
and met other kids , let him be a child .
 
Your son will be fine. I was diagnosed with a mild to moderate hearing loss when I was 10 and didn't get HA's until 40 years later and I did fine. Yes, I didn't hear as well as my friends but I did ok. If the audiologist recommends HA's than get them, but the important thing right now is to find an ENT that you can trust and will stay on top of your sons middle ear fluid issues; most kids grow out of the problem as their eustachian tubes start sloping downward as they grow and allow better drainage. However, in the mean time he may need to have tubes inserted several times until it happens. Just take a deep breath and relax in the end your son will be fine.
 
Born with a 115 dB like AlleyCat....doing fine now as a woman in her 40s. Got a career, happily married, have two beautiful children, and own a house and RV. My deafness didn't stop me from living the American dream.
 
You know....at times I do wonder if my deceased Mother blamed herself when I became deaf at age 14....bad ear infections most all my life, and my mother could not afford to take me to see a "decent" doctor. She knew I was HOH...nothing was done....the public school gave me a hearing test and I had 60/40...that's when I finally saw a doctor who was a "quack"...butchered me during surgery and I was deaf overnight (after the surgery), damaging the nerves and I don't know what else...That doctor charged my mother Nothing!...As he knew he made the mistakes....my mother didn't sue this doctor and I never found out "why"....Believe me....there were and have been so many times that I blamed my mother....But I will never know if she blamed herself....:hmm:...All I do know is that she fainted when the doctor told her I would never hear again...perhaps at that time she finally realized just how serious it was....????....
Did I miss what hearing I had before the surgery?...Damn right I did...and would not wish it upon anyone else.....
 
Thank you all for the help.

My biggest worry is, whether his loss is progressive. I am afraid one day he may not hear anything. I know this probably won't happen. However, im kind of person always prepare for the worst, this makes me sick.

I checked his tubes, they are dry and clean, so no fluid after July, which is a good thing, but doesn't explain why there are still 10-15db air bone gap.
 
seb said:
Your son will be fine. I was diagnosed with a mild to moderate hearing loss when I was 10 and didn't get HA's until 40 years later and I did fine. Yes, I didn't hear as well as my friends but I did ok. If the audiologist recommends HA's than get them, but the important thing right now is to find an ENT that you can trust and will stay on top of your sons middle ear fluid issues; most kids grow out of the problem as their eustachian tubes start sloping downward as they grow and allow better drainage. However, in the mean time he may need to have tubes inserted several times until it happens. Just take a deep breath and relax in the end your son will be fine.
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Thank you seb.
So if you don't mind, do you mind tell me what caused your initial HL?
And, does it progressed to a degree which you have to wear aids, or it was stable for 40 years?
I think the reason for the initial HL played a big rule.
 
new said:
Thank you all for the help.

My biggest worry is, whether his loss is progressive. I am afraid one day he may not hear anything. I know this probably won't happen. However, im kind of person always prepare for the worst, this makes me sick.

I checked his tubes, they are dry and clean, so no fluid after July, which is a good thing, but doesn't explain why there are still 10-15db air bone gap.
Click to expand...

OK - As someone who wants to prepare for "the worst" here's my advice.

Literacy and social skills will open an abundance of doors for your child - it will allow them to go to the schools they want, work towards the careers they want and give them "equal access" to information.

Instead of focusing on variables you have little if any control over (if/when/how much/ how quickly any additional hearing loss might happen) - focus on what you CAN control.

Focus on early/pre-reading and reading skills, focus on language skills (that might be English only, or it might include also starting to learn ASL as a second language) - both expressive and receptive.

Focus on finding peer groups that include Hearing, Hoh and Deaf children and families interacting ... (reach out to state school for the Deaf that practices a holistic "Bi-Bi" approach - meaning "bilingual - bicultural").

Instead of seeing what you *think* your child might be missing - focus instead on the positives (and there are a *lot*).

I've been Hoh/Deaf my entire life. I started with SSD and APD, I now have hearing loss bilaterally. I graduated top of my high school and university classes, I've been an semi-professional and professional musician and clinician, I'm a specialist in my field, I'm happy, independent and honestly rarely if ever feel being Hoh/Deaf is or has been a disadvantage. I've gained far more than I've "lost".
 
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