How to teach children to be good when everyone else is being bad?
Helping your little ones do the right thing...Children aren't magicians but there's one trick they perform more often than you'd like...Before your very eyes, your quiet, considerate child transforms himself/herself into a belligerent, sneaky, or rude little monster, the kind of child who makes other parents wonder ' Didn't they teach him/her anything at home? ' and the answer is YES, you did but no matter how well your child has learned that showing and screaming are unacceptable, those rules seem to evaporate when certain less-polite friends are around...' Children have a natural desire to be good, but it's harder for them when they see other children breaking the rules ' ...So, while you try to raise your children to be honest, kind and respectful , you also have to help them develop a conscience the inner voice that arns, ' Don't do that ' even when everyone else is doing it...This doesn't happen overnight...Children don't begin to understand the meaning of right and wrong until they're about 2, and their motivation for being good changes as they grow...The more easily if you know how to handle sticky situations like these....
Whenever your friend and her/his out of control children come to visit, your 3 years old starts pushing, hitting and grabbing toys too...Toddlers are impulzive and easily influenced by what's happening around them....
What to do: Calmy take your toddler aside and remind him/her how to play fair...Keep it simple: ' Do you remember how to play nicely? ' It 's not okay to shove another child or take the toys away from another child....
Prevent it next time: Before your guests arrive, go over the rules with your child by saying ' There's no pushing or hitting with your friends. I don't want to see that today, If I do, you won't be able to play with them ' And when your child is acting nicely, be sure to praise him/her....
Here is another example:
If your child tells you she/he took a toy from school...When you tell her/him that's wrong , she/her replies ' Its okay, another child took one home too and my teacher didn't see us '
Your child knows that taking things is wrong, yet she/he may not fully understand why...And though she/he doesn't want to get into trouble, the child reasons that since a classmates took a toy and the teacher didn't catch anyone , it must be alright....
What to do: Keep calm and say ' I'm glad you told me this ' ( getting angry will only discourage a child from being honest with you in the furture ) Instead, say to your child ' The toys at home belong to you but this toy belongs to the school...We'll give it back and tell the teacher you're sorry ' Explain to your child that she/he must ask before taking something that's not hers/his...Help your child to understand that he/she may borrow a toy with permission but taking a toy without asking is stealing and stealing is always wrong....
Prevent it next time: It may take a few incidents for children to learn the lesson but if it happens too often, tell your child that next time, he/she will have to give a toy of hers/his to the school...
If your child has been calling his/her friends names such as ' stupid ' . ' butthead ' etc....Your child has picked up words from people around him/her
Schools often try out bad language to see what they can get away with...' Words help children this age assert their indepen....
What to do Don't overreact...If you do , your child wil learn that these words have shock value, and he/she will use them to get attention...Explain that even though his friends use this kind of language, it's not nice....Add, ' Remember when someone called you names? It hurt your feelings..Your friends doesn't like it when you call them names ' Then have your child apologize to them....
Helping your little ones do the right thing...Children aren't magicians but there's one trick they perform more often than you'd like...Before your very eyes, your quiet, considerate child transforms himself/herself into a belligerent, sneaky, or rude little monster, the kind of child who makes other parents wonder ' Didn't they teach him/her anything at home? ' and the answer is YES, you did but no matter how well your child has learned that showing and screaming are unacceptable, those rules seem to evaporate when certain less-polite friends are around...' Children have a natural desire to be good, but it's harder for them when they see other children breaking the rules ' ...So, while you try to raise your children to be honest, kind and respectful , you also have to help them develop a conscience the inner voice that arns, ' Don't do that ' even when everyone else is doing it...This doesn't happen overnight...Children don't begin to understand the meaning of right and wrong until they're about 2, and their motivation for being good changes as they grow...The more easily if you know how to handle sticky situations like these....
Whenever your friend and her/his out of control children come to visit, your 3 years old starts pushing, hitting and grabbing toys too...Toddlers are impulzive and easily influenced by what's happening around them....
What to do: Calmy take your toddler aside and remind him/her how to play fair...Keep it simple: ' Do you remember how to play nicely? ' It 's not okay to shove another child or take the toys away from another child....
Prevent it next time: Before your guests arrive, go over the rules with your child by saying ' There's no pushing or hitting with your friends. I don't want to see that today, If I do, you won't be able to play with them ' And when your child is acting nicely, be sure to praise him/her....
Here is another example:
If your child tells you she/he took a toy from school...When you tell her/him that's wrong , she/her replies ' Its okay, another child took one home too and my teacher didn't see us '
Your child knows that taking things is wrong, yet she/he may not fully understand why...And though she/he doesn't want to get into trouble, the child reasons that since a classmates took a toy and the teacher didn't catch anyone , it must be alright....
What to do: Keep calm and say ' I'm glad you told me this ' ( getting angry will only discourage a child from being honest with you in the furture ) Instead, say to your child ' The toys at home belong to you but this toy belongs to the school...We'll give it back and tell the teacher you're sorry ' Explain to your child that she/he must ask before taking something that's not hers/his...Help your child to understand that he/she may borrow a toy with permission but taking a toy without asking is stealing and stealing is always wrong....
Prevent it next time: It may take a few incidents for children to learn the lesson but if it happens too often, tell your child that next time, he/she will have to give a toy of hers/his to the school...
If your child has been calling his/her friends names such as ' stupid ' . ' butthead ' etc....Your child has picked up words from people around him/her
Schools often try out bad language to see what they can get away with...' Words help children this age assert their indepen....
What to do Don't overreact...If you do , your child wil learn that these words have shock value, and he/she will use them to get attention...Explain that even though his friends use this kind of language, it's not nice....Add, ' Remember when someone called you names? It hurt your feelings..Your friends doesn't like it when you call them names ' Then have your child apologize to them....
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