How do you handle certain situations?

ChicagoBlue2 said:
For the most part, but he's acting immature to get what he wants.

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Then that is a good reason to get out of the picture , you don't want to get too deep into this when there an immature guy to deal with.
 
You're basically leading her on by not saying no. If she begs and pleads, say no. Keep on saying no until she goes to a real attorney.
 
In a general term, you would want a woman to be able to look after herself, wouldn't you??

What will happen if you ever decided to have a relationship with her? Will she be asking you questions and not taking your advices?

If you're not remotely interested in her, then why are you giving her advices?
 
My Dad is a Pastor of a church has been a Pastor all my life and he refuses to give legal advise for many reasons this is one... He tells a story of a man and a woman who where not married fighting over their child this was in the 80's (I remember this vividly by the way). The woman's friend who was helping her with legal matters went to court with her and look up law got into a verbal argument with the father of the child a very slight one. He left but two days later the father showed up at the guys work put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger. You don't want to be in the middle of anything between a couple and their child. If this man is being anything but man stay out of the way and out of his cross hairs.
 
dereksbicycles said:
In a general term, you would want a woman to be able to look after herself, wouldn't you??

What will happen if you ever decided to have a relationship with her? Will she be asking you questions and not taking your advices?

If you're not remotely interested in her, then why are you giving her advices?
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I have to stay out of certain situations she may face, but I've not yet.reached that point, and hopefully I never do, but I also want to be a good and loyal friend to her in times of need, so just saying no isn't that easy to do.

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ChicagoBlue2 said:
You're right, I'm not qualified, which is why I have encouraged her to hire her owm lawyer, and let me out of this. I do not want to one day find myself in that spot when I gave the wrong advice, but she does have family who can give her the advice I can't, but problem is, she's the only one who is deaf, and her family barely signs, so that's just one reason why I don't need to be doing this, and I'll be honest-- I've gotten weary of doimg this.

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Tell her to go to social services for help. They can arrange for her to meet with a lawyer WITH AN INTERPRETER.

Mark, even if your advice was spot on, you can't represent her court, so it won't be of any value to her. You're preventing her from seeking real help. You might mean well and want to be helpful but actually you're getting in the way of true help.
 
I know that saying no is hard, but your friend has to be smart enough to know that you're not a lawyer.

Did you go to a law school? Why do people go to law school? Sometimes, you've to sit back and let those qualified do the work. There is a reason they're a lawyer and you are not.
 
ChicagoBlue2 said:
I have to stay out of certain situations she may face, but I've not yet.reached that point, and hopefully I never do, but I also want to be a good and loyal friend to her in times of need, so just saying no isn't that easy to do.

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Saying no in this situation IS being a good and loyal friend.

Continuing to give "advice" is more about feeding your own ego and less about resolving her problem.
 
Also this "friend" can turn on you in a heart beat if this goes to court.
 
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Reba said:
Tell her to go to social services for help. They can arrange for her to meet with a lawyer WITH AN INTERPRETER.

Mark, even if your advice was spot on, you can't represent her court, so it won't be of any value to her. You're preventing her from seeking real help. You might mean well and want to be helpful but actually you're getting in the way of true help.
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I have tried, but she won't. She's paranoid about.lawyer costs, and I have told her there are pro bono lawyers willing to help her, but she still wants my help, and I really shouldn't be doing this at all, I admit it.

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You come on this site and ask people for advice.....then you IGNORE and question them. Why even ask????
 
Angel1989 said:
You come on this site and ask people for advice.....then you IGNORE and question them. Why even ask????
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Honestly? I wanted to know what people thought of what I was doing, and it seems that I need to make more of an effort to get out of this while I still can.

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Your intentions are great but the only issue is just being qualified to give that kind of advice. I'm not a doctor so I'm not going to give advice on how to cure their illnesses; you would actually make it worse for them and you wouldn't be doing a favor to your friend.

If she won't stop then maybe she has an ulterior motive; maybe she's really interested in you and is using the legal problems as an excuse to talk with you.

The only advice I have at this point is just ask her flat out, "Why won't you stop asking me? It's clear that I am not a lawyer, do you have some other reason why you keep doing this?"

Good luck!
 
A Nihilist said:
Your intentions are great but the only issue is just being qualified to give that kind of advice. I'm not a doctor so I'm not going to give advice on how to cure their illnesses; you would actually make it worse for them and you wouldn't be doing a favor to your friend.

If she won't stop then maybe she has an ulterior motive; maybe she's really interested in you and is using the legal problems as an excuse to talk with you.

The only advice I have at this point is just ask her flat out, "Why won't you stop asking me? It's clear that I am not a lawyer, do you have some other reason why you keep doing this?"

Good luck!
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You know, I've wondered about that for a while now. I have a hunch she may let me know on March 15th how she feels about me. She's texted me almost daily, and I get the feeling there's more to this than just advice.

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ChicagoBlue2 said:
I have tried, but she won't. She's paranoid about.lawyer costs, and I have told her there are pro bono lawyers willing to help her, but she still wants my help, and I really shouldn't be doing this at all, I admit it.

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Then I guess all you can do is say, "I'm sorry, I can't help you with legal problems."

If she really wanted help she'd turn to someone (legal services) who could do something for real. I think she's just looking for a sympathetic enabler.

BTW, does she ever ask you for money?
 
ChicagoBlue2 said:
You know, I've wondered about that for a while now. I have a hunch she may let me know on March 15th how she feels about me. She's texted me almost daily, and I get the feeling there's more to this than just advice.

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What happens on March 15?
 
Reba said:
Then I guess all you can do is say, "I'm sorry, I can't help you with legal problems."

If she really wanted help she'd turn to someone (legal services) who could do something for real. I think she's just looking for a sympathetic enabler.

BTW, does she ever ask you for money?
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Thankfully no. I have to try and find a way to gently let her know that I can no longer help her.

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