Hey. I'm here to learn

H

He-Dan

New Member
Joined
Jun 8, 2010
Messages
11
Reaction score
0
I'm starting a relationship with a wonderful girl. She is the most amazing woman I've ever dated so I can tell she is a total keeper. She also happens to be 100% deaf. She lost her hearing in an accident one year ago and she's 23, so she's had her hearing her whole life up until that point.

Just looking for ways to ensure her and I can communicate well. I really love her a lot so I want to do anything I can to help bridge the communication gap. She's really cool and understands that I'm trying my best even though I fall short on communicating sometimes.

Any input or suggestions would be welcome.

Thanks.
 
I am going to assume a lot of things but only you know if I am right or not.
First is because of the age, you both can speak well. Therefore you have a way of communicating already.
Second, she has not been really tested yet to find out if she can benefit from using hearing aids, otherwise you would have said so. If she has been tested and found to be "totally deaf" find another doctor!!! It can not never be assumed that a hearing person that has an "accident" would lose all thier hearing, such an accident would have to also kill that person. I am not saying she can or can not benefit but give it a new try with a different doctor for a second opinion.
Third, you both are going to have to learn to lipread. Notice I said both of you!!!! Yes, you can if you want to but she must learn to lipread. For you to really love her and want a relationship that grows, you will yourself become involved in learning along side her. Once you both learn to lipread you will find it a brand new world but also a special way for only the two of you to share.
Last, consider her family and friends. Up to this moment, she has never associated with deaf people nor the "other" ways deaf communicate. So now she will feel the need to find a place within the deaf communnity and try to understand deaf culture. Under no circumstance should she "lose" nor "neglect" her contact with family and friends. Yes, these same people are going to go through the "shock" of having to find a new way to communicate with her but, with serious effort, they will find it easy. In their mind it is "going to be hard, if not impossible" to communicate with her. But it will be their lost if they dont do their part.
I know the first thoughts of this long difficult road seems a burden to you and her but going down that road is not a choice, it is a necessisty now. Nevertheless, you both do not walk alone, there will be a crowd of people who will happily walk with you.
 
Most of the late deafened seem to get Cochlear implant.
 
rolling7 said:
I am going to assume a lot of things but only you know if I am right or not.
First is because of the age, you both can speak well. Therefore you have a way of communicating already.
Second, she has not been really tested yet to find out if she can benefit from using hearing aids, otherwise you would have said so. If she has been tested and found to be "totally deaf" find another doctor!!! It can not never be assumed that a hearing person that has an "accident" would lose all thier hearing, such an accident would have to also kill that person. I am not saying she can or can not benefit but give it a new try with a different doctor for a second opinion.
Third, you both are going to have to learn to lipread. Notice I said both of you!!!! Yes, you can if you want to but she must learn to lipread. For you to really love her and want a relationship that grows, you will yourself become involved in learning along side her. Once you both learn to lipread you will find it a brand new world but also a special way for only the two of you to share.
Last, consider her family and friends. Up to this moment, she has never associated with deaf people nor the "other" ways deaf communicate. So now she will feel the need to find a place within the deaf communnity and try to understand deaf culture. Under no circumstance should she "lose" nor "neglect" her contact with family and friends. Yes, these same people are going to go through the "shock" of having to find a new way to communicate with her but, with serious effort, they will find it easy. In their mind it is "going to be hard, if not impossible" to communicate with her. But it will be their lost if they dont do their part.
I know the first thoughts of this long difficult road seems a burden to you and her but going down that road is not a choice, it is a necessisty now. Nevertheless, you both do not walk alone, there will be a crowd of people who will happily walk with you.
Click to expand...

Thank you so much for your input!! I will definitely remember what you said. about me learning to lipread and seeing about getting her more doctors opinions.
 
He-Dan said:
Thank you so much for your input!! I will definitely remember what you said. about me learning to lipread and seeing about getting her more doctors opinions.
Click to expand...

Only one problem that rolling7 did not mention is ASL (American Sign Language). We highly recommend ASL the best option than lipreading. Lipreading is hard and there are some words that are the mouth movement the same as different words like room and broom something like that. To me, lipreading is suck. I learned to lipread when I was nine or ten years old and it takes me forever to lipread right. ASL is for me, period.

:welcome: to AllDeaf forum. Have fun reading and posting all the threads here. See you around here. :wave:
 
Bebonang said:
Only one problem that rolling7 did not mention is ASL (American Sign Language). We highly recommend ASL the best option than lipreading. Lipreading is hard and there are some words that are the mouth movement the same as different words like room and broom something like that. To me, lipreading is suck. I learned to lipread when I was nine or ten years old and it takes me forever to lipread right. ASL is for me, period.

:welcome: to AllDeaf forum. Have fun reading and posting all the threads here. See you around here. :wave:
Click to expand...

Thanks. Yeah, I asked her to teach me as much ASL as she can. She was very warmed by my request. I also want to take an ASL class with her. She said she knows about as much as a 2nd year ASL student and I know nothing so I have a lot to learn!
 
He-Dan said:
Thanks. Yeah, I asked her to teach me as much ASL as she can. She was very warmed by my request. I also want to take an ASL class with her. She said she knows about as much as a 2nd year ASL student and I know nothing so I have a lot to learn!
Click to expand...

You are very welcome. It is fun while you are signing to your girlfriend as it is a very visual way to understand what is being said than lipreading. Go for it! :cool2:
 
Back
Top