helping my sister learn to speak more quietly

e1980

New Member
Hi all,
I am hoping someone can help. My sister lost her hearing in her40's and is bilaterally aided. She struggles to modulate her voice and speaks loudly. This has caused a problem at work, since everyone works in cubicles. Are there any ways of managing this issue using technology/biofeedback or anything else? I love my sister and would really appreciate any ideas that might help her. Thanks!
 

drphil

Active Member
As I understand the matter:when one is "hard of hearing" they don't realize they are talking loud. The reason: trying to hear themselves which comes across as "normal quiet" speaking but to others they are quite loud.

aside: it gets worst when one is DEAF

Not sure the answer-- as one must be conscious at all the time-they are perceived to be screaming.
 
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RisinDragon

Member
As I understand the matter:when one is "hard of hearing" they don't realize they are talking loud. The reason: trying to hear themselves which comes across as "normal quiet" speaking but to others they are quite loud.
I am totally guilty of this. I sometimes talk and not realized how loud I am. To me it's sounds normal. But when I look up and all theses eyes are staring at me. Then I realized, I was a little loud. hehe

We can't hear our volume. And if we talk softly, we sometimes can't hear ourselves and think nobody can hear us. So we tend to talk louder.
 

shel90

Audist are not welcome
Premium Member
I am totally guilty of this. I sometimes talk and not realized how loud I am. To me it's sounds normal. But when I look up and all theses eyes are staring at me. Then I realized, I was a little loud. hehe

We can't hear our volume. And if we talk softly, we sometimes can't hear ourselves and think nobody can hear us. So we tend to talk louder.
So true.
 

e1980

New Member
Thanks for your comments. I think the points mentioned are exactly what she struggles with. Is there any way of teaching yourself to use the most appropriate volume if you cant hear yourself? Any devices that would give you feedback in some way? Or, any ways of training yourself to recognize other things like the vibration of your voice box?
 

drphil

Active Member
The situation changes all the time0 thus one can't exactly be altering the volume control all the time.

To the best of my knowledge-there is no device which tells one -you speaking too loud

As for detecting one's "voice box for vibrations".never heard of this-till now,

aside: I have been "dealing" with apparent loudness for almost 40 years since I got my first Hearing aid. Just part of trying to deal with one's hearing loss which keep changing with increasing loss over time.
 

whatdidyousay!

Well-Known Member
As I understand the matter:when one is "hard of hearing" they don't realize they are talking loud. The reason: trying to hear themselves which comes across as "normal quiet" speaking but to others they are quite loud.

aside: it gets worst when one is DEAF

Not sure the answer-- as one must be conscious at all the time-they are perceived to be screaming.
I saw one doctor and he wrote in my medical file , "patient talks loud which is normal as she is HOH. " The only thing I think of is the OP sister try turning up her HA as loud as can and see if help her talk softer. Maybe having the HA turned up will help her hear her voice easier. It's too bad there is not some device that will light to let a person know they're talking too loud.
 

Frisky Feline

Well-Known Member
Did she know that you are looking for some tips? maybe its wise for you to ask your sister and talk about how loud she uses her voice, and see what she feels comfortable for the feedback. She may feel terrible when she knows that she speaks so loud. I like the idea whatdidyousay said, "turn your volume up and see how your voice sounds like?" :dunno: my family reminds me to turn my voice lower and i voice mine low at a most of time" but again it will comes back to sqaure one anyway.
 

naisho

Forum Disorders M.D.,Ph.D
I don't know if you can train a deaf person to regulate their voice. It's not as easy as you think it is.

On the other hand there are some apps out there that let you observe the sound. Below is a screenshot of Smart Tool's Sound Meter app. It's for android but I believe they may have an iOS app as well.

 

green427

Active Member
It takes a few months or years of trial-and-error to get to a constant volume, at least with me. I trained myself to speak lower or louder in certain environments based on feedback from others.

Not an easy task, but the person speaking also needs to be willing to adjust. There are some people that are difficult to reason with.
 

RisinDragon

Member
People that worked with me are tolerant with me. They understand I can't hear my volume, and from time to time when I am loud. They let me know. I don't mind them letting me know because I want them to let me know. I don't find it rude if the people that knows me tells me to 'tone it down just a little bit'.

But if a complete stranger comes up to me and tells me that, then I got an issue about it. But I can't really be mad at them because they really can't see my hearing aids, unless they were really looking for them. If a stranger does comes up to me and say such thing, I respond with 'I'm sorry, I'm deaf'. That usually makes their stupid facial expression drop very fast.
 

Lau2046

Well-Known Member
Hi all,
I am hoping someone can help. My sister lost her hearing in her40's and is bilaterally aided. She struggles to modulate her voice and speaks loudly. This has caused a problem at work, since everyone works in cubicles. Are there any ways of managing this issue using technology/biofeedback or anything else? I love my sister and would really appreciate any ideas that might help her. Thanks!
This is something I do a lot...and I'll bet most people with hearing loss, no matter how little or much, do this often. I think because I can't myself, you can't hear me either and it's not true. I've been embarrased enough to condition myself to speak at a normal, unstrained level, and if they can't hear me, they'll let me know. The best way I can describe it for your sister is to speak as though the room were quiet and everyone could hear you because most times, they probably do. My best to your sister.

Laura
 

roycevv

New Member
Re:

I don't know if you can train a deaf person to regulate their voice. It's not as easy as you think it is.

On the other hand there are some apps out there that let you observe the sound. Below is a screenshot of Smart Tool's Sound Meter app. It's for android but I believe they may have an iOS app as well.

Try! Maybe it helpful!
 

Bebonang

Active Member
What the heck are you trying to do to make your sister turn her voice down low? She can not help that. So are we all, Deafies and Hard Of Hearing (HOH). If you want her not to speak loudly, then you might as well learn how to sign ASL (American Sign Language) so that she don't have to use her voice to communicate with you or the co-workers.

Don't make her go through by suffering every time you want her to do your expectation. You expect her to listen, speak and be able to understand by lipreading. Heck, that is not easy for the d/Deaf and the Hard Of Hearing just to please you or your family and friends one hundred percent of your time. If you don't want her to talk loud, just sign please. That would have been a whole lot easier when signing ASL. Nothing wrong with it. It is the way of our Deaf Culture. We like it much better than talking loudly. So there.
 

Angel1989

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
I am totally deaf and have brutal tinnitus. It's so, so loud making it very difficult for me to determine how loud to speak at times. When I am out with my family they will nicely sign to me to lower my voice. It's been just over two years since I went deaf and I am still working on this issue. Hope you find the answers your looking for. Best of luck.
 

ecp

Member
I always seem to have the opposite problem. I have severe to profound hearing loss that is aided but I'm told that my voice is always very quiet (not whisper quiet but when I try to be loud I'm told that I sound like a normal quiet conversation)
It could be because I'm naturally very shy and I'd be really embarrassed if I was too loud.
Also, my hearing aids make my own voice sound strange to me so I definitely talk less when I'm wearing them.
 

ohmylight

New Member
I have late onset Deafness... I lost my hearing most notably between age 18-20. Before that I was a choir singer in elementary-early HS. I'm NOT perfect (friends and family try to make me more quiet a LOT) but I do know your voice can pinch or hurt differently depending on too quiet or too soft - it makes sense from singing experience. Too quiet can pinch and hurt higher up under your nose and too loud can hurt lower down closer to your chest. My friend pointed this out to me when I started struggling. As a sister to her - be patient and don't judge. When I'm too loud or something about my speech is off I know how it WAS so I get embarrassed. But I hope that may help her if she wants the tip.
 
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