Hearing person, in relationship with meniere's so

Adam86

Adam86

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My lady during the course of our relationship has been diagnosed with meniere's in both ears. I'm taking ASL courses at my college. I chose to do this, without a request from her, because I'm crazy in love. We've been together for almost 2 years, and live together.

There's no problems with our communication; we're both practicing ASL as much as we can before she has surgery on one of her ears that'll make her 100% deaf in one ear.

I should be in 200 level ASL classes, but because I'm learning this for my lady before any other reason to keep learning it (like not needing to filter myself, appreciation for what I understand about Deaf culture), I feel like I need to be a master of all material covered in classes...

Brief explanation: we practice signing while doing water aerobics at the gym. Recently a nice deaf lady approached us signing after noticing that we were signing. The lady told us about her ex husband that didn't learn any sign language when she was losing her hearing. I understood all this, but I froze and signed 'anxiety' to her when she was trying to talk to me (my lady had no problem).

I'm a (sometimes) excessively confident person who is definitely an extrovert. I guess I feel anxiety about communicating with Deaf people because I'm not educated enough about ASL, to sign how I write, or speak.

I'd like some Deaf friends, and so would my lady, I just feel weird about signing up a Deaf person to be a teacher, instead of being themselves.

Advice, recommendations?
 
I'm in the process of learning as well. Some of things that I do, I practice with other people who are also learning. I'm part of a Glide group that practices together. It's mostly ASL students, interpreting students, a CODA (he actually is the one that helps us learn the most). It's a little less intimidating than approaching Deaf strangers and asking them for help. I totally get your feelings about this though. I hate the idea of approaching a Deaf person just to ask them to sign with you. Even if you're approaching them socially, it still feels awkward because they get put in a situation of having to tolerate you while you're trying to learn. I know that's part of the process of learning and we shouldn't feel as self conscious about it, but it doesn't stop the feeling of guilt of taking advantage of someone without their permission.

I've found that the Deaf people that I do communicate with I talked to them on websites before I talked to them in person. So I felt less awkward because I had gotten to know them as people before trying to sign with them. Signing with strangers as a Deaf coffee event, or a voices off dinner is so intimidating though.
 
Welcome :wave:

First off, :applause:. Hearing men are much less likely to learn ASL for their SO than hearing women, so I applaud your efforts.

It is quite normal to feel nervous using any new language when you are still learning. Just relax and be yourself. You will find some people are very patient with new signers, others will not be, but don't take it personally.

If you don't mind sharing, what kind of surgery is your wife having?
 
Lysander does the glide group allow for new people to join? That group sounds amazing.
Lysander said:
I'm in the process of learning as well. Some of things that I do, I practice with other people who are also learning. I'm part of a Glide group that practices together. It's mostly ASL students, interpreting students, a CODA (he actually is the one that helps us learn the most). It's a little less intimidating than approaching Deaf strangers and asking them for help. I totally get your feelings about this though. I hate the idea of approaching a Deaf person just to ask them to sign with you. Even if you're approaching them socially, it still feels awkward because they get put in a situation of having to tolerate you while you're trying to learn. I know that's part of the process of learning and we shouldn't feel as self conscious about it, but it doesn't stop the feeling of guilt of taking advantage of someone without their permission.

I've found that the Deaf people that I do communicate with I talked to them on websites before I talked to them in person. So I felt less awkward because I had gotten to know them as people before trying to sign with them. Signing with strangers as a Deaf coffee event, or a voices off dinner is so intimidating though.
Click to expand...
 
Ericka said:
Lysander does the glide group allow for new people to join? That group sounds amazing.
Click to expand...
It does, the problem is that Glide only allows 50 people per group chat and we're at max. My Glide ID is @gaehiwb, add me on there and when space comes free I can add you.
 
Ericka said:
Check your glide i do believe i sent you a message.
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Oh yeah. There it is. You're name on here is different than your name on there. I got mildly confused. But then again my name on there is different too. So...I'll say hi later tonight. I'm at work and the system here prevents me from streaming video. So I'll say hi when I'm home tonight.
 
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