Hearing people who are attracted to deaf people

geek4life90x

New Member
Well.. I have only few dates with hearing girls in my past. I do not flirt with many girls, but they mostly flirt with me when I am deaf. They once asked me like a good question and one of them saying, "Could you teach me how to sign someday?" to me. I would love teaching hearing girls if who do not know how to sign.
 

TerrakEarthim

New Member
I would like to bring up the opposite. I have been targeted because I can hear and know some ASL. She paraded me around in front of her deaf friends. When I found out that she was dating me just because she thought of me as a status symbol, I left.
 

hotdefman

Member
I have been thinking about the whole issue of some hearing folk being attracted to or wanting to date deaf folk. All these threads by hearing people saying they are seeking deaf people to date got me thinking about it. To be honest, it gives me the heebie jeebies, and I have been trying to figure out why, because normally I am very "live and let live".

I think it stems from an awkward experience I had years and years ago. When I was a teenager, a hearing boy hit on me. When I started talking to him, all he could talk about was my deafness, my hearing aids, etc. Whenever I tried to change the subject, he would turn it back to something to do with my deafness.

In the end, it came out that he had a hearing aid fetish.:-o:confused:

Yeah. That really exists. I googled it. Hey, whatever floats your boat, buddy, but it won't be me!

But even aside from that experience, it always made me a little uncomfortable, because it makes sense for someone to be attracted to say, a fat person or a skinny person, a blonde person or a red haired person, little boobs, big boobs - that all makes sense because people like what they like and physical attraction is a big part of the beginning of many relationships. Likewise, attraction to non-physical traits like a kind heart, a confident attitude, great sense of humor, those make perfect sense for attraction.

Deafness doesn't. Same goes for blindness, etc. To me, I can't help but think that an attraction to a deaf or blind or otherwise differently-abled person is more along the "fetish" line of thinking. Or if that's not the case, at least they seem to only want to date us because they are "fascinated" by us being different. And that bugs me, creeps me out a little bit. Or maybe they want to date us for a status symbol thing, like "Hey look at me and how cool or interesting I am because I have a deaf girlfriend" - which just makes me feel used. Not to mention it seems to be a poor basis for a relationship, because the "newness" of the person's difference wears off pretty quickly and then all you're left with is the stuff that people are normally attracted to, which may or may not be your thing in the end.

Long story short - being attracted to me solely because of my deafness makes me feel like a carnival attraction. :thumbd:

Maybe I'm wrong, but I really feel like it is not OK to be attracted to or only want to date someone with a certain disability. We are not our disabilities. We are people. And I would only want to date someone who saw me as who I am as a person, and appreciated my deafness and all it entails as an afterthought, merely a part of who I am.

It's different if it's just friendship and nothing more. I have no problem with someone wanting to be my friend because I am deaf and they find that fascinating and want to learn from me. Hey, whatever, you know? It's just when people seek more than friendship on the basis of deafness that it starts to get a little creepy and weird.

That said, I'm sorry if you are hearing attracted to deaf and I have offended you. I mean no offense, I just wanted to maybe put my thoughts out for consideration on this topic. I really do not mean to cause any drama. :hmm:
AGREED.

I'd kick the bitch in the arse, though, to the kerb!!!! Fucking sick fetishit bitch! YUK! I'll never trust hearing bitches ever again!!!! SICKOS!
 

qawaearata

New Member
I have no problem dating a deaf person, but it is not because they are deaf...What if you get to know them and they just arent for you, you would just stay with them because it gets you off....?

If you are more attracted to someone who is deaf because you are "fascinated" or "intrigued" read a book, not affect someone elses life, thats wrong and that is going to effect HEALTHY relationships between a hearing/deaf couples i would guess...If people really come here and try to start a relationship with someone based on them being in intro to ASL, then they should be euthanized imo.
 
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Grummer

Active Member
they often come across like this at first, but still form my experience, they 'seek to find out something they need to confirm, then they decide deaf is dumb or something like doesnt offer them much so theyear leave with a worsened perception of deaf people than before'
and i dread it all the time... i sorry, no im not sorry, i dont like hearing people that much...not that much anyway, remember though this is My experience, your be different but im damn sure mine arent unique...ive seen it many times beforem often not as 'my hearing freind' but a deaf freinds' freinds...yuck...

...and .or Their perception of THAT deaf freind/person... not my own...but still people's ideas are somewhat governed by what they 'already know' very rarely by what they DONT know...

'curious' LOL....give me a break...you should know better...
 

CrazyPaul

Active Member
I would like to bring up the opposite. I have been targeted because I can hear and know some ASL. She paraded me around in front of her deaf friends. When I found out that she was dating me just because she thought of me as a status symbol, I left.
I know what you are talking about. I noticed that a few deaf girls are doing that so she was not the only one. "Hey, friends, I want you to meet my trophy boy."

BTW, I would say that it's rare that hearing guys do what you did. Most of them just want to have sex with deaf girls and dump them later.
 

CrazyPaul

Active Member
I had a few hearing girlfriends in the past. They liked me because I was cute as they said and they loved my sense of humor which has nothing to do with my deafness. They learned signs from me so we could communicate with each other. In other words, they knew that I am just human like them.
 

caz12

New Member
i was told somemen and women find sign intriguing but if it for hearing aids then that new one on me dont wear mine half the time so if i do, i get men panting for me, can't day i ever notice that.. some people are patronizing and want to be seen with disable person for what ever their agenda is and i very uncomfortable with it.
i was told about feet fetish and person they push their fetish on go through nitemare so could be the deaf person having nitemare ,nothing is straight forward, lots of relationships end because of disability as that not the person they married, got change full thinking set...i don't understand human behaviour, i don't think anyone do
 

qawaearata

New Member
I know what you are talking about. I noticed that a few deaf girls are doing that so she was not the only one. "Hey, friends, I want you to meet my trophy boy."

BTW, I would say that it's rare that hearing guys do what you did. Most of them just want to have sex with deaf girls and dump them later.
to be fair, guys try to sleep with any girls, are you trying to say it mattered they were deaf, or pointing out it had nothing to do with them being deaf..

One of my friends once said he wouldnt date a deaf peron(s) because he said he would feel like he was taking advantage of them...I Flipped out on him and asked him how he would be "taking advantage of her." That convo didnt get very far BUT i would like to clear up that a guy will approach an attractive female regardless if they know you are deaf or not, to try to get to know them, regardless if they are deaf is justifiable, its doing it for other reasons that is wrong, foot fetish was a good example... Point being guys are shallow douches at that age, it's important to know the underlying cause even though both may be morally incorrect. However going around and just hating a hearing/Deaf couple and/or judging them is no better than interracial discrimination in my own opinion. What the OP posted was clear targeting, i dont mean to take this topic elsewhere either, i digress.


Maybe I'm wrong, but I really feel like it is not OK to be attracted to or only want to date someone with a certain disability. We are not our disabilities. We are people. And I would only want to date someone who saw me as who I am as a person, and appreciated my deafness and all it entails as an afterthought, merely a part of who I am.
Btw, you are not wrong IMHO, and this stems much further than just this...
 

UNYTruthHunters

New Member
Wow, that is new to me. Although I can understand where you are coming from. There are people who are attracted to Deaf people. Just like Short women are attracted to Tall men or Caucasians attracted to Blacks, etc. Even some have real taboo. I saw on TV how weird this taboo Aspies use real size dolls. Yes, doll fetish! I saw one kissed the doll lips. I can understand why they need to do that. Communication barriers they faced.

Hearing aid fetish!? Hey, I hear about shoe fetish often!

Anyway, I am married to a Hearing woman because it is the inside, not the outside. I am fortunate to marry someone who knew ASL for 15 years at the time we first met. She told me her testimony that she took the class because she felt she has to for a reason she did not know why and when we met, she figured out why. One problem with my wife is that she does not use it often. I read lips though. That is the problem! So, I do not have a perfect marriage when she almost never use ASL. I keep demanding her to use it. That is why I feel left out in family functions when she does that so sometimes I do not go at all.

The right person who is Hearing has to be totally committed to communicate and not because of fetish or know ASL. There is a difference between knowing ASL and USING ASL.

Next one I am gonna marry is Deaf IF that happens and perhaps likely it will happen however, I will not find her around my hometown. I grew up with those jerks and I am not very social with Deaf people. That is a whole another story. You will have to read my book I just finished writing. Stay tuned.
 

MusicInMotion67

New Member
Hearing who like to date Deaf

Sadly, they all find their way to Alldeaf.
I'm a hearing 44 year old woman who's been signing since I was seven years old, it's almost like a first language to me. I am currently an interpreter and teach ASL at my church and everyone I know except the few at church and my students are Deaf. I feel comfortable in a hearing environment as well as Deaf environment equally. I tend to find myself attracted to Deaf men but it has nothing to do with a fetish or simple fascination. Yes your language and culture are fascinating but I like them simply because I've been attracted to them just as I would a hearing man.

You say "sadly they all find their way here." Perhaps it has nothing to do with it being just because you're Deaf, that wasn't why I signed up. I signed up for the same reason I have with other forums, because I found the topics interesting and hope to make new friends etc.

But I do have to say that the whole hearing aid fetish creepy!
 

Bottesini

Old Deaf Ranter
Premium Member
I'm a hearing 44 year old woman who's been signing since I was seven years old, it's almost like a first language to me. I am currently an interpreter and teach ASL at my church and everyone I know except the few at church and my students are Deaf. I feel comfortable in a hearing environment as well as Deaf environment equally. I tend to find myself attracted to Deaf men but it has nothing to do with a fetish or simple fascination. Yes your language and culture are fascinating but I like them simply because I've been attracted to them just as I would a hearing man.

You say "sadly they all find their way here." Perhaps it has nothing to do with it being just because you're Deaf, that wasn't why I signed up. I signed up for the same reason I have with other forums, because I found the topics interesting and hope to make new friends etc.

But I do have to say that the whole hearing aid fetish creepy!
Thank you for letting me know... :shock:
 

april1angel

New Member
Before I lost most of my hearing, I was attracted to Deaf women because of the fact that I wanted to learn all I could about the deaf.
I'm hearing and I feel I can really relate to this. I don't think that I'm attracted to deaf people anymore than hearing people, but I've been finding myself looking for deaf friends over hearing friends because I really want to try and learn as much as I possibly can. I'm trying to learn ASL and to possibly become an interpreter so the more immersed in deaf culture I can become the better I'll be at ASL, right?
 

Lau2046

Well-Known Member
I've never been attracted to anyone deaf, nor do I ever expect to be. I don't Sign and it'd be just as nuts as dating a Russian that doesn't speak English. I find people are more attracted to those most like themselves. Different strokes as they say....


Laura
 

melindajanet

New Member
I've never been attracted to anyone deaf, nor do I ever expect to be. I don't Sign and it'd be just as nuts as dating a Russian that doesn't speak English. I find people are more attracted to those most like themselves. Different strokes as they say....


Laura
Oh ptooey to this. My fiance's uncle married a Russian woman who didn't speak English, and he didn't speak Russian. They've been married fifteen years. Obviously at this point they know each other's language!

And also, my fiance has a cochlear implant and was raised orally but I learned basic signing to better our communication at times when he doesn't want to wear his implant or misses something I'm saying etc. Someday I hope to take a class to better understand ASL grammar, but aside from basic classes they're hard to find. When you want to be with someone, really want to be with them, you can overcome obstacles like a language barrier....it happens all the time!
 

Boobookitty

New Member
Hearing aid whore too funny! Maybe I should pimp out my aids ,help pay for them lol ugly huge clear ear molds-Tee Hee yep sporting the hottest ( last ones were hot pink ,stuck with black ones now-ugh)
Hard to be leave is a real thing. I'm glad my hearing doesn't bother my husband and is supportive. I def got to tell him there's a deaf fetish ,(I'm sure he'll think it's funny) . Would love to show them how it really is. they'd reconsider If they think people submissive cause of deafness ,at least not this women. It hurts I'm laughing so hard. ;)
 

lmkmiec03

New Member
Some people can be a little nutty! The other students in my ASL classes knew I was in a relationship with a deaf man. One of the girls came up to me and said, "Ooooo... I've always wanted to marry a deaf guy and have deaf babies. It's my dream!" :shock:

I told her marrying a deaf man wouldn't guarantee them having deaf children. I couldn't think of what else to say! She had crazy eyes!

Fetishes are so strange to me...
 
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