dont know what to do with stupid comments

anlos09

New Member
My husband is in the Navy, i was wearing a Navy wife sweater the other day and a woman comes up to me asking about it, and i told her my husband is deployed, and she said.. "omg my husband went to california for 2 days i totally know what youre going through."

Really? you do you dumb shit face? my husband is going to be gone for 8 months, and hes not sleeping in a warm comfortable bed. He cant call whenever he wants and mail takes weeks. I do not feel bonded to you because of this comment.:roll:
 

whatdidyousay!

Well-Known Member
I guess the woman does not know what 'deployed' means!! That was one of stupidest comments I heard. It has to so hard having your husband gone for so long. Don't let stupid people get to you.
 

anlos09

New Member
I guess the woman does not know what 'deployed' means!! That was one of stupidest comments I heard. It has to so hard having your husband gone for so long. Don't let stupid people get to you.
well ive heard a lot of stupid comments before... "do you miss him?" no, i love it when i dont see my husband for months...

my favorite is "At least he's not in Iraq" Yeah because they just lay around playing video games in the surrounding countries =\

It is hard, but he loves it, so as long as he comes back, Im okay :)
 

Jiro

If You Know What I Mean
Premium Member
well ive heard a lot of stupid comments before... "do you miss him?" no, i love it when i dont see my husband for months...

my favorite is "At least he's not in Iraq" Yeah because they just lay around playing video games in the surrounding countries =\

It is hard, but he loves it, so as long as he comes back, Im okay :)
it's probably better if you can cope with this difficulty in your life without those bitter sarcasm.

I think you need to deal with it and maybe talk to professional. you cannot go around feeling like nobody can compare to yours.
 

VacationGuy234

Active Member
My husband is in the Navy, i was wearing a Navy wife sweater the other day and a woman comes up to me asking about it, and i told her my husband is deployed, and she said.. "omg my husband went to california for 2 days i totally know what youre going through."

Really? you do you dumb shit face? my husband is going to be gone for 8 months, and hes not sleeping in a warm comfortable bed. He cant call whenever he wants and mail takes weeks. I do not feel bonded to you because of this comment.:roll:
I think what she meant was that she was scared he was going to be shipped out. It's not the same thing, but I don't think it makes you less scared.
 

anlos09

New Member
it's probably better if you can cope with this difficulty in your life without those bitter sarcasm.

I think you need to deal with it and maybe talk to professional. you cannot go around feeling like nobody can compare to yours.
Sarcasm is the only comeback I have to stupid remarks. Thanks for the advice, but i do deal and talk to professional.
 

jillio

New Member
it's probably better if you can cope with this difficulty in your life without those bitter sarcasm.

I think you need to deal with it and maybe talk to professional. you cannot go around feeling like nobody can compare to yours.
There are appropriate comparisons, and there are completely innappropriate comparisons. We see them on this forum all the time. This woman doesn't need therapy judging from what she has said here. She simply needs for strangers not to minimize her situation.

How do you react when an HOH lated deafended person compares themselves to someone born deaf, and says something like, "I know exactly what it is like for you?"
 

AlleyCat

Well-Known Member
I have always said feelings are not relative. I think Anlos is entitled to feel the way she does, and the rest of us are entitled to feel the way we do. What makes the difference is opening your mouth and making comparisons. It isn't necessary because all that does is minimize the other's feelings. So I'm with Anlos on feeling bothered by others' comments.
 

Jiro

If You Know What I Mean
Premium Member
There are appropriate comparisons, and there are completely innappropriate comparisons. We see them on this forum all the time. This woman doesn't need therapy judging from what she has said here. She simply needs for strangers not to minimize her situation.

How do you react when an HOH lated deafended person compares themselves to someone born deaf, and says something like, "I know exactly what it is like for you?"
How would I react? like a nice guy. Why should I get all snarky and bitter at this person? Did this person intend to piss me off?

I would engage in a constructive conversation and see if this person knows what he/she's really talking about.
 

Jiro

If You Know What I Mean
Premium Member
Sarcasm is the only comeback I have to stupid remarks. Thanks for the advice, but i do deal and talk to professional.
lol ok.

well I hope your husband comes back home safe and sound.
 

Jiro

If You Know What I Mean
Premium Member
just one more thing to add - I do agree that what that woman said was stupid but the reason why I rather not get pissy and sarcastic is because maybe there is miscommunication or misunderstanding. or maybe that woman was just nervous or felt awkward when trying to initiate a conversation.

so what happened after she said "omg! my husband went to ...... "?
 

anlos09

New Member
just one more thing to add - I do agree that what that woman said was stupid but the reason why I rather not get pissy and sarcastic is because maybe there is miscommunication or misunderstanding. or maybe that woman was just nervous or felt awkward when trying to initiate a conversation.

so what happened after she said "omg! my husband went to ...... "?
my reply was the same one i posted here, except i didnt call her a dumb shit face.

well, here is a really good comment to say when you feel awkward and are trying to initiate a conversation with someone who has a loved one thats deployed.

what you just said with hoping he comes back safe.

and the one i hear the most... "thank you"
 

Cheetah

Cheetah Consulting-Closed
Premium Member
I can imagine there is really no appropriate comment. When someone you love goes off to war for you country. They are doing something that deserves our respect. I personally cannot imagine having my spouse go off to war. I feel totally inadequate to offer comfort.

I can say that I am proud of them, the work that they do, the dangers they face, and the distress of their loved ones back home.

I wish we could eliminate the needs for wars. perhaps "need" is not the right word. But war is a consequence of political actions (or inaction).

I know that we are all here free to discuss our political ideas and opinions because of people like Anlos's husband.

so Anlos, please express to your husband my thanks, respect, and appreciation for the work he is doing. We owe him and the other soldiers a debt of gratitude that I fear will never be paid in full.
 

Babyblue

New Member
I also can not stand people telling me "I know exactly how you feel" My reaction is "No you don't, until you walk in my shoes and know how I cope"
 

jillio

New Member
How would I react? like a nice guy. Why should I get all snarky and bitter at this person? Did this person intend to piss me off?

I would engage in a constructive conversation and see if this person knows what he/she's really talking about.
The next time someone makes a remark about your husband's deployment, you can do just that!:P
 
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