Divorce

warpedpink

warpedpink

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How many of your parents decided to get divorced when you were an adult? My parents recently told me about their decision to get divorced. I'll be 27 next month and although I know it's better than being a kid whose parents are divorcing, I still feel kinda silly for being upset about it because it doesn't really affect me much.

What were your experiences? There will be no custody battles or anything since my sister and I are both over 25 but what should I expect? My mom and dad grew up together, married in their junior year of high school, and say they still love and cherish eachother and always will. I'm open to advice (not pity). This is completely new territory for me. What's to be expected?
 
I wasn't surprised when mine did. Nothing out of ordinary, other than two holidays.

This coupled with my lady at the time whose parents were also divorced... 4 "parties' every holidays... Can be a headahce. a fyi.
 
I don't know how many years your parents were married for. My brother and his wife are getting a divorce.

I don;t know if your parents owned a house or are renting. If renting, then divorce would be much easier. No house to sell to divide assets.
 
dereksbicycles said:
I don't know how many years your parents were married for. My brother and his wife are getting a divorce.

I don;t know if your parents owned a house or are renting. If renting, then divorce would be much easier. No house to sell to divide assets.
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They married when they were 16 and are in their early 50s. And they own a really nice house with 2 dogs.

.... oh god, the dogs!
 
posts from hell said:
I wasn't surprised when mine did. Nothing out of ordinary, other than two holidays.

This coupled with my lady at the time whose parents were also divorced... 4 "parties' every holidays... Can be a headahce. a fyi.
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My mom says we will still do holidays together as a family... Sounds so.... cliche, i almost don't trust it lol
 
Divorce is like a death. The loss has to be grieved. That's true even when the child of a terminated marriage is an adult.

If the process is amicable, it will help everyone adjust.
 
warpedpink said:
My mom says we will still do holidays together as a family... Sounds so.... cliche, i almost don't trust it lol
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You would be right to trust your instincts because it's more than likely that your parents won't be hosting any holidays together.

I'm sorry that you are going through this.
 
Banjo said:
You would be right to trust your instincts because it's more than likely that your parents won't be hosting any holidays together.

I'm sorry that you are going through this.
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This is true.

Or it could be a simple divorce over "no need to be married anymore" and everyone is okay.

We don't know all the details. :)
 
That's rough. So close to the major holidays, too. Aww. So sorry. Here's hoping for the most amicable outcome possible. Remember that they must be sad too. Hope you can all be supportive, but who knows? Best of wishes for you and your parents.
 
warpedpink said:
How many of your parents decided to get divorced when you were an adult? My parents recently told me about their decision to get divorced. I'll be 27 next month and although I know it's better than being a kid whose parents are divorcing, I still feel kinda silly for being upset about it because it doesn't really affect me much.

What were your experiences? There will be no custody battles or anything since my sister and I are both over 25 but what should I expect? My mom and dad grew up together, married in their junior year of high school, and say they still love and cherish eachother and always will. I'm open to advice (not pity). This is completely new territory for me. What's to be expected?
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Divorce and the bold in that sentence. I find it confusing and conflicting. They do not mix.
 
Sorry to read that you going through parent divorce. Cannot be easy when that is all you know. Parents together.
 
katz4life said:
Divorce and the bold in that sentence. I find it confusing and conflicting. They do not mix.
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One can still love someone who they were married to but not be "in" love. My dad still loves and cares for my mom even though they got divorced about 30 years ago because she is the mother of his kids.
 
Who expects to be giddy in-love after a couple of decades? A marriage changes over time as people change. It's important the you really like and respect your spouse because passion comes and goes.
 
I haven't experience and always wonder what would be like. Unfortunately, my parents are already root together for darn long time.
 
So many divorces in my family. It made me very reluctant to even get married, but evidentually, I did and 5 years later, divorsed also.

No matter how many times you get married and divorced...even if you have fallen out of love for your SO...the pain is there, not only for you but the family as well.

Very sorry about ur parents and the pain that they and you are enduring.
 
katz4life said:
Divorce and the bold in that sentence. I find it confusing and conflicting. They do not mix.
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People do grown apart when they get older , their interests can change etc but they can still love one another. My daughter was telling she know some people that getting divorce but they will get together do things with their kids. The parents still love one another they just grew apart. They got married young too.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
People do grown apart when they get older , their interests can change etc but they can still love one another. My daughter was telling she know some people that getting divorce but they will get together do things with their kids. The parents still love one another they just grew apart. They got married young too.
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I don't know, my parents got married in 1972 and they are still in love with each other to this day. They do everything together.

I think it varies.
 
Going through the same thing you are going through. :( It is still emotionally wrenching. Mine's not very amicable either which makes things harder.
 
Sorry to hear about the divorce. And there's really no reason to feel silly- even if you're not living with them or having to see the divorce first-hand, the split still changes your family in a big way and that's a lot to deal with.

I was still living at home when my parents divorced, but there is a similarity in that my parents had been together since they were really young (they married after high school, but were engaged during). One thing I saw in my mother at least was, weirdly, sort of a crazy phase. She swapped out the mini-van for a convertible, started dressing fashionably and got a new group of divorcee friends. I'm not saying to expect that, exactly, but since they've been together for so long they might need to sort out their identities as individuals. Which can be an odd process to watch.
 
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