Hi,I am hearing and my wife is deaf. We habe been married over 10 years and habe 2 beautiful children. I feel as if i missing out on a better quality marriage. With thay said , all the deaf people reading this will hate me now. Im just tired of having to take caee of someone.who uses being deaf as an excuse.to be lazy. Im tired of all the misunderstandings, im tired of repeating myself, im tired of sign language. our.kids.spend all.day with my wife and she ignores them since she is unable to.communicate with them. She did not teach them.asl. my wife plays candy crush all day, the house is a mess. She takes responsibility for nothing, she has never had a job and i take care of paying the bills fillijg out all paper work phone calls etc. I need a partner, not another kid. If zhe was hearing would this all be different? I dont haabe the patience to.communicate with her anymore. Its like she is.from another planet..Im just tired......
I suspect postparum issues, too. Your post nails it. I hope OP reads your post and will consider it.Hi,
I am HoH and I don’t hate you for saying what you said in your post. Having said that,let me tell you what you what I think.
You have some kind of respect and connection with people with hearing issues because you could discuss your situation in the world wide internet options and yet, you are here. So I don’t think that you have a grudge or something against deaf people.
Now your marriage:
People usually spend some time knowing each other and you probably knew your wife was deaf before you married her and you were aware of the adjustments you had to do to communicate with her and still you get ahead and married.
In today’s time, deafness/hearing loss is NO Excuse for almost nothing besides not hearing. People are able to study, work, learn other languages and rise children. Also we can benefit with TYY , software and programs that write on the screen of phones, laptops and captations...
I don’t think you should treat your wife as different than any one else, it seems like she is depressed , she could be dealing with unresolved postpartum issues , so I would look into family therapy and resources to help her use the phone and so on.
There is no way to say if your marriage to a person that is hearing well would be different or more fulfilling.
Deafness on its own is not a determining issue of marriage bliss or lack of it.
Human relationships are always complicated and delicate , there are no saints no devils...
And then you also have your children to consider: are the 100% hearing well. Are they being neglected ?.
So, on practical terms and for your own well being as well as for the kids, get a cleaning lady, and therapy, if she doesn’t want to go with you , go on your own.
Keep on paying the bills because you don’t want to damage your credit , don’t over think things and make time for yourself.
Loads of patience, well being and peace